Chapter 56 (2/2)

My mind feels completely blank, it was as if some white paint has been poured all over it . I was able to act cool on the outside, but my ability to think was nonexistent . A goblin was more intelligent than me .

The friend that I relied on was right in front of me . We were so close together . Touching . Primarily, our lips .

It is usually I who is last to wake up . But it was Asagi who was late today . And so I had gone to his room to fetch him . But he did not answer, and so I tried the door . It was unlocked and easily opened . And so I went it . I saw that there were discarded shirts and jackets on the ground and remembered, ‘Aye, a similar incident had occurred before, in reverse’ and chuckled . I moved towards the bed . Once I opened the closed curtains, the bright sunlight flooded into the room, illuminating the tragic scene before me .

“Hopeless slob . ”

I muttered, before moving in to wake him up .

“Asagi, it is morning . It is time that you get up . ”

“Mmm…”

“Mmm…”

“Asagi, get up . Asagi!”

I try pulling hard on his arms, but he shows no signs of waking . I try calling out louder to him, but it was clear that his dreams were not peaceful .

“Asagi! Hey, Asagi!”

“Customer…Customer…”

What dream was he having? Was he a clerk at a store?

“Who are you calling a customer! Wake u-, aghh, sto-, let go of me you fool!”

I said with exasperation, but he suddenly gripped my arms . While he may have been sleepy, his grip was strong . My free hand immediately pressed into the bed .

“Bahh…what…?”

So he had finally awakened… I thought as I saw his eyes slowly open halfway . This was a different side to him that I had not seen before, I think with amus.e.m.e.nt . Then our eyes meet . However, his eyes did not have their usual, lively color .

“Asagi? I, mmm…!”

And that is when my mind went blank . When we moved away a few seconds later, I could still clearly feel his face, his arm around my neck, and the sensation of his lips . Asagi had kissed me .

And that is when my mind went blank . When we moved away a few seconds later, I could still clearly feel his face, his arm around my neck, and the sensation of his lips . Asagi had kissed me .

“Le-let me explain!”

Those were the first words he said after kissing me . It sounded a lot like the first protestations of a man who has been caught cheating . But I am lenient . And I am careful .

“Ve…very well . I will listen to what you have to say…”

I say with a shaky voice . No matter what happens, I was always prepared to hear what someone has to say . I am lenient . I try to be lenient . And so, even when my mind feels like it is blank, I can still hear the words . And as I am careful, I understand them . What Asagi was telling me was a confession .

I thought hard once I had left the room . To be honest, I am no good at understanding my own feelings . I have learned to put a lid over my emotions ever since my parents were killed . But I knew that I could not live like that forever . Even if it was only on the surface, one needed to talk . And so, little by little, I removed the lid . It was always half open when I traveled alone . I would say what needed to be said and a.s.sume the necessary att.i.tude .

And that was how it was for a long time . It all came crashing down when I met Asagi . I think that was the catalyst . I had been alone for so long, why had I wanted to form a party with this man? Even I do not understand why I felt like that at the time . I did give him a somewhat believable reason, but I still did not understand my true motive . I thought that it was something I would come to understand as we traveled together . And then it happened . The fight with Beowulf . We had somehow managed to wound him, but his attacks were relentless . His foot came down on Asagi, and it was clear that he could be killed at any moment . I did think of my parents then . That moment where he could have died . And yet he had tried to protect me . I knew then, that the lid had fallen off completely from my heart .

That was likely when I had allowed him in .

I told him about my past then . He had offered me a kind smile and some hot soup . I still have not forgotten its taste . That warm, gentle taste was how he felt . I think it was then that I started to really see him . His words, his att.i.tude, there were times when they had such a strong effect on me .

But even so, I was no good at understanding my feelings . And so I could not come to a clear realization until he kissed me .

I touch the clothes that hang near my room’s window . The first clothes that Asagi had ever bought for me . He had seen through me . Known that I had wondered if I could ever wear such pretty clothes . And so he made a present of them .

I look at the rays of light that shine into the room . It’s bright and warm . Like him . And as I am careful, I consider it all in my mind once again . But there is really no need to think . I feel that the fact that I want nothing more than to run my arms through these sleeves right now was, more than anything, the answer to Asagi’s question .