56 Chapter 14: Harvest Moons 6 (1/2)

We went back to the castle and Aeron was taken care off by the castle's healer magi.

The still room was drowning in a restless atmosphere.

Mama and Papa stood right in front of me as I just stared back at them, almost unblinking.

I don't want to miss any reaction they will make

...for finding out that their only daughter is a dark magus.

Will they throw spiteful words?

Will they make me an exile?

I wonder...

No one else was inside that room but us.

No one to interrupt the suffocating silence.

I may seem calm on the outside

but my heart beating crazy deep inside me.

”I wield dark magic... that's why they came after me. They simply want me to join them.” I explained, finally breaking the silence. ”I'm a... dark magus, Mama... Papa.”

I watch Mama's eyes swells as it showed fear and yet despair while watching me.

Her legs gave up on her and she almost collapsed

But Papa was able to caught her up and assisted her to stand back up again.

”Since when...” was what Papa able to reply.

What does he mean since when?

Since I was born, I suppose.

What should say?

”I...”

Papa stormed to one side and rakes his hair aback, I can see his jaws tightening as he turned his back on me. ”It's when they kidnapped you! They taught you how to wield dark arts and—!”

”You're wrong!!!” I cut him off.

He glances at me.

”I'm born with it.”

”PREPOSTEROUS!!!! I never gave birth to a...” Mama halted and bit her lips. ”Aerra, come here, my darling. We will look for a healer to help you out of that element. We will find a cure. We will ask my brother and...”

”You think it's impossible...” I blinked back my tears. ”Like I'm ill and needs help?”

”We can give you all the help you will need,” Papa says now, walking towards me. ”But for now, we must dye your hair to white and we will find an alchemist to help you change the color of your eyes.”

I stepped aback, ”The workers by the farm and orchards already saw me.” I said, ”I let them feast their eyes on who I really am”

”THAT'S NOT THE REAL YOU!!!” Papa shouted, his voice echoed around the room.

The outburst made Mama begin to cry from behind him. She can't even look at me in the eyes anymore.

Is my eyes that scary?

It always hurts me to see Mama cry.

The sound of her shattering voice kills me like a knife stabbed deep in my heart,

I clawed at my chest,

It feels so heavy and congested.

”Your powers have not awakened yet, Aerrandria. You simply learned to wield a dark element because the mercenary taught it to you! It can be forgotten.” argued Papa, no humor is seen from his gaze as he watched me, head to toe. I can see him cringe ever so subtly.

”When I was young, I always dreamt of dark things.” I closed my eyes and began to explain. ”Something inside me is beckoning. Like an endless charade, I never understood my nightmares. But then, it slowly progressed and as far as I began to see visions” I opened my eyes back and saw both Mama and Papa listening with both brows furrowed. ”Even before I saw Faram from the party, those vision already began... I saw that... me and my brother, facing each other someday in a battlefield...”

”What are you trying to say...” Papa utters in a low hoarse voice, almost in a broken whisper.

”I have known for so long, Papa. I'm not going to become the revered young Lady like you all hoped I would be. From all the dreams, black out and visions... it's so clear who I really am. Who I will become...”

”NO—! STOP IT! You're just confused!!! Dark magi aren't born, they are created. Bad people who seeks for dark elements are those that become...” Mama interjected, but I cut her off

”And what if I did sought for the dark element? Would that make me a bad person? Am I a bad person now in your eyes, Mama? Can I not be your daughter anymore?”

The tears I held back escaped from the corners of my eyes.

Mama clasp her hands on her mouth, shock and yet upset, as she cried and cried with tear blurred eyes, while I waited for her answer.

But she didn't respond.

And it hurts more,

because her silence can mean so many things.

She simply looked away, holding on to her sobs as she concealed it from behind her hands.

”Aerrandria, you are our daughter. That will never change.” Papa kneels down in one leg in front of me and gently lays both his hands on my shoulder. ”But we need to rid you off that dark element. It's dangerous. People will think you're cursing these lands. We just want to protect you, understand?”

I bit my lips as I saw Papa's eyes began to swell now.

”Whatever happens, I will protect you, my princess. Papa will never turn his back on you. Do you understand me?” His tone is more assertive this time but his voice is wavering.

I nodded fervently.

My own tears were no longer mine to control.

Papa pulls me to his arms and embraced me. ”We will find a way for you, my love. Papa will make sure you will live a beautiful and perfect life. I promise this....” I can feel the loud beating heartbeat on Papa's chest as he held me tighter, I wrapped my hands around him and hid my face on the burrows of his wide shoulders.

I swallowed hard to clear the lump in my throat as I raised my head up and stared at Papa's tear soaked face while he pats my head gently. ”You're my little princess, and we have yet created a perfect Dukedom for you and your brother. So just stay put and Papa will fix everything for you...” He glances at Mama, ”for my lovely wife, for your brother, and for the people. These lands will be our home and for the next generations to come.” This time, he pokes my nose and manages to smile. Clearing his voice as he calls out to Mama.

Mama walks to us and sat on her heels in front of me, ”We will overcome these ordeal, together...” Papa says. Mama nods and hugged me. Papa seals that embrace as he wrapped his big arms around us. ”—as a family.”

I shut my eyes tight and a vision flashed.

I began to cry my heart out

embracing them back...

not out of happiness

but for seeing a vision.

It's the one that will happen in the castle library.

The last part...

I finally saw,

clear as the day...

That the one holding the cane,

laying on the puddle of blood next to it,

and staring lifeless in thin air

—is Papa.

And beside him...

is Mama, whose eyes were swollen with tears,

closed shut with the agony as her lips parted open.

Her final words will be my name.

While my hands will be soaked from their blood.

And so...

as I stood back up straight to look at them in their eyes and smile to both of them,

and as Mama wiped my cheeks dry while combing the side of my head through her gentle fingers,

and Papa kissing my forehead...

I knew then—

that I really have to leave.

For them to live on.

••▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅••

I stood alone in the middle of the courtyard.

The temperature were that of the winters.

It was cold and yet peaceful.

I stared blankly at the tree that exist solemnly alone in this entire courtyard.

It was still lush green and the flower bed under it were still just as beautiful as the day we played out here when we were kids.

Aeron, Levi and me.

We played a tag game I called 'Fire and Ice' from back then.

And I intentionally turned myself as the villain to assure no one gets upset.

In the end, we all had fun.

Such a beautiful memory.

I wonder what Levi will do if he finds out I'm a dark elemental user.

I bet he caught the news about what happened here.

And surely, he will storm in to check on us sooner or later.

But...

I won't be here by then.

I sighed,

caressing the hairpin he gave me.

I hope he forgives me someday.

Surely, he will find a better fiancée than me.

Someone who won't stain his reputation for wielding dark arts.

Geez.

Why does wielding the dark element matter too much in this world anyway?

Oh, right.

I need to find the Sage too.

”I knew I'll find you here.”

A familiar voice broke the silence.

Sound of footsteps behind me is getting closer.

I honestly don't know what to tell...

...or what to say to him.

To Eriol.

He—

He's the first one ever who never looked at me indifferently.

”It's dark and cold out in here, don't just linger around in a depressive place just because you're a dark magus!” He says in a cheerful tone. ”It's over kill for your image!” He chuckles.

I just looked down blankly at the ground.

What have I thought about Isera back then?

Ahh yes...

People can't trust what they can't explain.

Eriol is one person I can't decipher.

That's why I can't trust him.

And I don't understand myself for it.

Suddenly, I felt his back leaning against mine lightly, standing still behind me as I kept my head down.

”You made up your mind.

You're... leaving, aren't you?”

”...!”

My eyes grew wide at his words.

How did he figured it out?

Am I that obvious?

”I understand... I know there are things you need to take care of. Things you need to search on your own...”

I pursed my lips in a hard line.

”So umm... good luck!” He concluded.

I nodded once.

”Thanks...” I murmured, unsure.

Suddenly, I felt him step away.

I was about to turn around

But his arms appeared on each of my side,

wrapping me in an tight embrace as he stood still behind me.

My body automatically froze.

His warm yet shaking breath grazes over my nape as he lays his head down on my shoulder.

”If you've gone tired... or simply can't take it anymore—

Just come back home... and I'll carry all the burden off your shoulders for you...”

In one loud exhale, his quiet sobs became apparent.

And for some reason, I felt like melting.

This must be the first time I was hugged from behind by a boy...

I don't know how to react...

With breath emitting like puffs of cloud against the numbing cold air, I blinked

and saw single white flake floating down before my eyes.

I glance up at the pale sky above us, and felt the snow fall on my face

Though faint and almost unrecognizable,

I realized the heavens was in a brink of dawn.

And it wasn't the usual starry dark blue, pink and yellow skies, it was only pure white. An empty canvas brought by the winter season's arrival.

Countless ice floated weightlessly downwards, each snowflake dancing and swirling around towards us, like standing in the middle of a gentle and lush rain of snow, in one cool yet dark winter masquerade,

Countless ice floated weightlessly downwards, each snowflake dancing and swirling around towards us, like standing in the middle of a gentle and lush rain of snow, in one cool yet dark winter masquerade,

and though the winds were drifting cold air around us, my body felt warm under his tight embrace.

”No matter how long it takes,

I'll wait for your return.

So come back home if you're ready. You here me?” His voice reached me and is somehow... making all my inside churn.

No...

It's— it's like butterflies are on a rampage inside my stomach.

My heart is drumming so fast.

My face feels feverishly hot.

And my body feels so electrified,

making me wide awake, baffled, yet leaving me rather raw.

This feeling is —weird.

What is it?

I shut my eyes close

and I gently touched his hand that wrapped around me like a scarf...

But he slides it off pass my grip,

and flexed his fingers close until they were entangled in between mine.

I blankly stared at our folded hands

and felt like my heart will explode anytime soon.

Maybe...

—this is one reason why I can't fully trust him,

Because I can't explain to myself for behaving so uncharacteristically when he's around.

I always find my thoughts are all over the place,

I act irrationally and impulsively

But right now,

even thought my entire limbs are shaking for an unknown reason and my insides are in a mess,

I...

admit...

That I feel so...

Very

very much...

—warm and fuzzy.

”Aerra—! Y-your... your hair!” he gasped as he steps away.

I opened my eyes and saw the black color of my hair transitions back to white.

My real hair color...!

I turned around and faced him

And found him smiling,

his usual half smile that shows only one dimple, like a sneer...

But his cheeks are too damp yet.

Was he crying?

”You look cool with black hair and red eyes but honestly speaking, I prefer it better when you look like that, snow head!” he says, cheerfully.

Blood began to rush to my cheeks.

I veered my eyes away and his hand suddenly touches my face, caressing my skin lightly with his thumb.

”I'm starting to understand now why I'm like this with you...” he says,

I watch his dark purple eyes as it studied me.

”—though it still needs further investigation to confirm my hunch. But for now, I'll keep your family safe for you... so you wouldn't have to worry and just concentrate on what it is that you have to do.”

I opened my lips.