Chapter 6: Second Life’s Spokesperson – translated by Anglestagium (1/2)

“Xiao Lan, I can overlook the fact you’ve become a tranny. I can even overlook the fact that you have become so handsome. But after all that, you actually went and became a singer…”

Early in the morning, I was roused unceremoniously from my sleep by my mom. I blearily watched my parents as they sprayed out a mouthful of saliva as they ranted on, inwardly thinking it was lucky that I had been awoken by mom, otherwise I don’t know if I could have kept my underwear from those fangirls…

Finally, my mother really couldn’t stand my dazed, uncomprehending look anymore. Yanking my ear, she bellowed, “Do you know that the entire world is searching for the Blood Elf Prince?!”

“What?” I was instantly shocked out of my stupor. The entire world? “Mom, you mean the entire Second Life, right?”

“Not just Second Life, but the real world is also looking for you!” Dad said, dropping the bomb on me and clearly relishing in it.

“Why is the real world looking for me?” I asked, perplexed.

Mom massaged her forehead, as if she had a headache. “Don’t you realize that your singing is amazing? Many talent agencies, modeling companies and even Second Life’s corporation are looking for you to be their spokesperson.”

My mouth dropped open. “Second Life’s corporation? How could that be? Don’t they know that I’m a tranny?”

“How would I know?” Mom retorted crossly. “I only know that they’ve posted screenshots of you on the home page of Second Life’s official site. I’ve even printed them out.”

I snatched the pictures from my Mom’s hand. The first picture was a shot of me using my dao to chop down an unknown person, the second was a close-up of my kiss with Phoenix and Fairsky, and the third was the Infinite Band’s performance at the plaza. Every picture had a sensational caption, such as ‘The crème de la crème of Second Life – the Blood Elf Prince’, ‘Do you want to be like Prince, constantly surrounded by girls?’, ‘Have you dreamed of becoming world-famous like Prince?’, and ‘There’s nothing you can’t do, only things you never thought of doing. A world that’s 99% realistic – Second Life awaits you!’

My hands trembled as I looked through the stack of Prince pictures. What happened? I thought. How did things turn out like this? Surely you realized that, with these screenshots posted on the home page of the world’s most popular online game, Second Life, the exposure is even N times higher than the nude photos of female celebrities!

I yelled in desperation, “What, what should I do?”

My parents looked at me with solemn faces and said, “First, go and cook breakfast.”

“Mom, Dad, that’s hardly the point here!” A vein popped on my head. I can’t rely on them after all…

But under the fierce gaze of my parents and my stupid brother, I was nevertheless forced to make breakfast before I went to university. I chewed on my egg on toast as I rode the bus to school and, to my surprise, I discovered that there was a group of news reporters’ vans outside the university. What exactly is happening? I wondered. My mind was full of questions as I entered the grounds and stepped into the classroom.

My brother, Feng Yang Ming, who was walking next to me, gave a small whistle as he saw the crowd of reporters surrounding Professor Min Gui Wen. With a gloating tone, he said, “This time, the professor is in trouble.”

“Excuse me, why did you decide to form a band within Second Life?” asked a male reporter who was pointing a microphone at Professor Min Gui Wen.

“Sorry, I’m starting my class now, so please leave before I call security,” Professor Min Gui Wen responded frankly.

“So handsome…” said a nameless female reporter, with two hearts in her eyes.

The male reporter unrelentingly asked another question, “Do you know the whereabouts of Prince right now?”

“No comment!” Professor Min Gui Wen answered icily, his expression darkening.

“Then…”

At last, the security guard uncle rushed over and chased out the crowd of reporters. I sat dazedly on my seat, watching Professor Min Gui Wen, who was obviously having a headache, while listening to the gossip king Gu Yun Fei giving the class a report on how the whole situation had unfolded.

“Ever since our Infinite City’s Infinite Band began their concert tour, they have become extremely popular, and a lot of people followed them from Star City all the way to Moon and Sun Cities to watch their performance!” Yun had a very proud expression, and he even turned towards Professor Min Gui Wen and called, “Isn’t that right, Professor?”

Professor Min Gui Wen revealed a pained expression. “Yes, we were chased until we almost went crazy.”

“I never expected that Prince would really be so handsome,” said a female student, firmly holding onto the pile of photos I saw this morning.

“I heard that a lot of talent agencies are looking for Dàgē,” Jing mentioned worriedly.

Yun also scratched the side of his ear. “Dàgē really can hide; even Professor was found the next day, but there hasn’t been any news about Dàgē at all.

“What a pity. If Prince appeared, it would definitely cause a sensation,” another female student said disappointedly.

Cause a sensation? If I, the only tranny of Second Life’s, were to appear, the sensation caused would probably be as great as the one surrounding Second Life’s release onto the market! I thought helplessly on the side.

“That’s for sure; Prince is so handsome, and he sings so well. If he were to become a singer, he would be incredibly popular with the whole world!” said another female student who was so enchanted that she was buried within the pictures.

“That’s right; I went on Second Life’s official site and downloaded Prince’s songs. There’s It’s My Life and Dreams Want to Fly.” A person held up the CDs.

There— there are even songs you can download? I was going to faint.

“Gui! Come out for a minute.” Zhuo-gēge’s voice came in from the doorway. I looked up in surprise at his unpleasant expression… and the group of reporters behind him.

“No matter what, I am a professor, you should have some manners,” Gui exasperatedly grumbled. He instructed us to self-study for a while, before walking out.

Zhuo-gēge met my gaze for a moment *SHIVER* and then stood at the classroom entrance and said to the reporters, “The professor and I do not know of Prince’s whereabouts, nor of anything related to the issue of Second Life’s spokesperson. For all matters, please wait until after things have settled down, then Infinite City will release a statement.”

“In regards to Infinite City’s concert, it will continue as planned,” Gui added.

The group of reporters continued to ask questions incessantly. After a long while, seeing that Zhuo-gēge and Gui weren’t going to say anything else, they all hurried off in swarms saying, “Hurry, go back and write the report, otherwise we won’t make the evening papers.”

After all the reporters had finally left, Gui concernedly asked Zhuo-gēge, “How is Prince’s situation?”

“He hasn’t been found out yet,” Zhuo-gēge replied without changing expression. “Although, I think he should be careful and make sure that he doesn’t tell anybody about his real identity, otherwise things will become problematic.”

The last sentence was obviously directed at me.

ONLINE

After I finished class as if I was sitting on a needled carpet, I virtually ran home, pulled on the game headset, opened the PM channel, and promptly started wailing out Lolidragon’s name. “Lolidragon, what the heck is this Second Life’s spokesperson thing all about?!”

Lolidragon’s helpless voice came back, “I’m sorry, that was the corporation higher-ups’ decision. I couldn’t do anything.”

“What do you mean ‘you couldn’t do anything’?” I demanded. “You know I’m a tranny, I simply can’t be the Second Life spokesperson!”

“Of course you can, you’re just going to be a virtual spokesperson.”

“Virtual spokesperson?” What on earth is that? I thought, knitting my eyebrows together.

“The only thing you can’t do is appear in real life. Everything else, like photos, advertisements, or even songs, they’re not a problem. That’s why the higher-ups decided to let you be an online and TV spokesperson,” explained Lolidragon. “You have no need to reveal your true identity.”

“But, but…” I tried to fight against it.

“This will also create a lot of benefits for Infinite City and Infinite Band,” said Lolidragon excitedly. “Even if it’s just for the point of building Infinite City’s reputation, there are already many benefits. Did you know that even though Infinite City isn’t open yet, there are already tons of people waiting outside of the city? Not to mention the people who want to join the Infinite City’s army! There are so many that we need a strict selection process now.”

“But…” I still wanted to protest.

“There’s another point as well. The photo album we talked about before had difficulties in implementation, and distributing books and CDs in Second Life used to be an impossible thing. However, because of you, the corporation now has specially developed these new functions. You should know how big of a help this is to Infinite City’s economy, right?” Lolidragon’s final words were just about to shatter my still-protesting heart.

“I still…”

“There’s also spokesperson compensation; just give me your bank details and the money will be transferred to you,” Lolidragon added her final attack.

“I am very pleased to be Second Life’s spokesperson. Please teach me well, Lolidragon,” I said without any hesitation.

“…”

Money! Wonderful, I can finally solve the difficult situation I’m facing due to my parents’ still not earning money. Tonight we’ll all eat Snowflake beef1 hotpot to celebrate! I thought, all smiles. There’s beef to eat. The feeling of being a spokesperson isn’t bad at all!

While I was still rejoicing about having beef hotpot to eat, four shadows suddenly appeared. They were the people who had gone offline at the same time same place as me last night—the members of the Infinite Band. Surrounding me with ill expressions on their faces, they yelled in unison, “Prince! What exactly is going on with this spokesperson thing?”

“Uh…” I could only repeat exactly what Lolidragon had just said to me.

“…In short, I have, without reason, become Second Life’s official spokesperson,” I sighed. I really am too ignorant; I didn’t know that playing a game could cause problems. See, now Second Life has explained away my ignorance as to the real way to play a 99% realistic fantasy game, I thought dizzily.

After listening to my explanation, the members of the Infinite Band all looked at me exasperatedly.

They stayed like that for a while. I, wanting to break the serious silence, had no choice but to put on a happy, smiling expression and say, “We still have to hold a concert in Sun City, is everybody ready?”

“Can we say no?” everybody asked me, pale-faced.

My face also fell. “I also want to say no, but today we have to finish this concert, and then hurry back to Infinite City, because Lolidragon says we have to make a photo album…”

“What? Photo album?” Wicked and Gui’s expressions both changed, especially Wicked’s, whose expression was freezing.

“Yes, photo album.” I helplessly shrugged my shoulders. “Don’t think that I’m the only one who has to make it; all of the Infinite Band members have to.”

“But Prince, it’s only your photos that will go on the official website, so don’t! Why do you have to be the official spokesperson? There’ll be even more love rivals!” Fairsky shouted willfully.

“Ay…” Phoenix sighed, distressed.

“Don’t be the spokesperson, Prince.” Fairsky anxiously gripped my arm.

“I can’t, I’ve already told Second Life’s corporation that I’ve agreed…” More importantly, I’ve already taken half the money and ate the hotpot; what else can I do?

“Don’t!” Fairsky looked at me with angry eyes.

“I can’t, I have to.” I couldn’t release my arm from Fairsky’s grasp, so I could only drag her to the flying carpet with me. “Let’s go everyone, and finish up the last concert of this tour.”

“I forbid you to be a spokesperson, otherwise I won’t perform anymore!” In a moment of desperation, Fairsky actually threatened me.

This is annoying me to death, I thought as two veins appeared, crossing my forehead. Being chased by countless female wolves, having to be the spokesperson, having to hold concerts, and even having to make a photo album… More importantly, I can’t allow anyone to find out my real identity, especially with Jing and Yun continuously interrogating me at school for my current whereabouts in game… The recent events have had me annoyed and vexed and I still have to deal with Fairsky’s willfulness. I don’t have that much time!

“Stop being annoying. I will definitely be the spokesperson, whether or not you want to perform is up to you!” I angrily rebuked her.

“You, you…”Tears welled up in Fairsky’s eyes, but she stubbornly didn’t allow them to fall.

Looking on, half of my heart softened, instantly regretting yelling at Fairsky for no reason. Even if I’m in a bad mood, I can’t take it all out on Fairsky. I was just about to open my mouth and apologize when…

Her head hanging, Fairsky’s tears finally fell. She wiped them on her sleeve, then turned around and ran off…

“Fairsky!” I gave a start and shouted, but she didn’t stop.

“It’s way past the scheduled time for the concert,” Wicked said, frowning.

“But what about Fairsky?” I anxiously watched as Fairsky turned into some alley.

“I’ll go and find her,” said Sunshine. “Kenshin and I have been walking around this area a lot lately, and we’re familiar with the roads.