Chapter 46: The Most Feared Law Enforcement Officer in Guangxi and Guangzhou (1/2)

I asked Huang Xiaotao to make a stop at my college before we set off for Wuqu City. I then went to my dorm room and packed up a few essentials into a small bag. When Huang Xiaotao saw me carrying it back to the car, she asked, “Aren’t you bringing your special umbrella?”

“No,” I grumbled, “I broke it. I’ll have to do without it this time.”

It happened that night when we were trying to catch Bai Yue. In the heat of the moment I smacked him with my umbrella, and it must’ve caught one of his fangs, because I found out afterwards that my trusty old umbrella had a big gaping hole in it. It broke my heart just thinking about it.

Traditional Coroners generally had no combat skills at all. Even in the Chronicles of Grand Magistrates, there was only one self-defense move mentioned, and the method was to throw specially-prepared medicinal powder at the face of the enemy, and this powder was supposed to make them faint, which gave you time to escape. When I thought about it, I must say that it was a pathetic self-defense move, to be used only when they were absolutely no other choices left.

But that was not to say that all of my forefathers were as useless in fights as I was. In fact, a few of them had actually been law enforcement officers, each having developed excellent skills. The most notable one was Song Buping, who was called the most-feared law enforcement officer in Guangxi and Guangzhou. He amassed our vast collection of martial arts techniques and wrote them down in a book called The Thirteen Techniques of the Song Family. I saw this book in Grandpa’s study before, but I had no interest in martial arts, so I never even gave it a second glance.

I’ve taken you on a long tour with this subject, but the point of it all was this: I am completely useless in fights!

All the way to Wuqu City, Dali slept in the back seat and snored loudly. He would sometimes stretch his body and then kick the front seat in the process, to my utter annoyance. Wang Yuanchao, on the other hand, sat beside Dali silently and without any discernible expression on his face at all, only occasionally pulling out a flat silver flask from his jacket and taking sips of libation from time to time.

Huang Xiaotao saw this through the rearview mirror and chided, “Haven’t you had enough alcohol in your system, Wang Yuanchao? You’ve been drinking all night!”

“Just want to keep myself awake,” answered Wang Yuanchao plainly. I almost snorted at that reply.

The distance between Nanjiang and Wuqu was about six hundred kilometers. I sat in the passenger seat in front, and took cat naps from time to time. After a distance, I woke up to find Huang Xiaotao bleary-eyed and yawning continuously.

“Why don’t you rest for a while?” I suggested. “Let me drive.”

“You’ve got a driver’s license?”

“No,” I replied, “but I did learn how to drive before.”

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” she asked doubtfully.

“Judging by the state that you’re in,” I said, “I won’t do worse than you.”

Huang Xiaotao found a place safe enough to stop and we switched places.

“I’ll take a short nap,” she announced, “but wake me up immediately if you see the traffic police. It’d be ironic if we get pulled over, considering there are two police officers and a police consultant in this car…”

“Roger!” I nodded.

I was taught to drive by my aunt before I got into college. She had a flourishing business of her own, so we used to have quite a number of cars at home. There was a lot of spacious empty fields in the town I grew up in, so I often had a lot of fun testing out cars there.

This would be the first time I touched a steering wheel in years, so I played around with it for a while to get my bearings before starting the engine and driving off.

At about four in the morning, the number of buildings by the road gradually increased, and occasionally I would see road signs with the words “Wuqu” on it more and more frequently. It was also around this time that I heard a rustling noise coming from the back seat.

“I’m so thirsty…” mumbled Dali. “Give me some water…”

Then suddenly, Dali jolted up in his seat and let out a scream which woke up both Wang Yuanchao and Huang Xiaotao.

“Where am I?” asked Dali in a panicked voice. “How did I get here? I’ve been kidnapped! Help! Help!”

“Be quiet, you idiot!” snapped Huang Xiaotao.

Only then did Dali realize that the rest of us were with him in the car. I quickly explained to him what was going on.

“Shit, dude,” he said, “you just solved the last case, and now you’re working on a new one already? Why don’t we open up a detective agency when we graduate? Dude, think of the money we’d make!”

“Stop blabbering, Dali,” I said. “This is a serious case, and I received a special request to help solve it from a high-ranking officer.”

“Will we get a fat bonus for this?” asked Dali with gleaming eyes.