219 The perfect se (1/2)

In a 4v4 at the bar between the Fracking Crew and the four beauties, Ben's eyes glowed as he stared at the status screen of his target.

[Target's current attraction level: attracted(+2 slut bonus)(+2 drunk bonus)]

[Target's current comfort level: invalid(drunk status)]

Swallowing, he couldn't help but grin, as a tune started up in his head…

'I like…drunk…sluts and I can not lie!

You other brothers can't deny!

That when a girl walks in and is slurrin' in your face

You try to take her to your place

Plus I'm hung! Gonna do her rough

'Cause I noticed she won't shut up

Like alcohol she's smellin'

I'm desperate and can't bother carin'

Oh baby, I want to get wit'cha

Cause you had a pitcher

My homeboys tried to warn me

Don't let her drink more (or you'll need an attorney!)

Oh, that's breath-of-gin

You say you even have drunk friends?

Well, ask me, yes please!

As long as they don't act too loopy

I've seen her dancin'

Though more like drunk prancin'

She's sweat, wet

Spilled a drink smokin' a cigarette

I'm tired of opening

Sayin' grindin' is the thing

Take any PUA and ask him that

Better she drink a six-pack

So Frackers (yea!) Frackers (yea!)

Are these girls now drunk enough? (hell yeah!)

Tell em don't drink it (drink it) drink it (drink it)

If she drinks too much

Baby out black.”

…

It was of course, ”Baby Got Back” by civil rights leader…Sir Mix-a-Lot…

…

With the song/plan completed…Ben continued chatting up his girl, and not a minute later, Antonio stepped over to him and whispered into his ear. ”These f*ckers wanna f*ck.”

...

Then he pulled back, and they locked gazes, as Antonio's eyes transmitted his genuine message. 'You have my sword.'

…

Ben glanced at Chuck, who nodded at him. 'And you have my bow…'

…

Then, Ben looked at Beluga who's face became firm. 'And my axe…'

For the last step, Ben turned back to Chuck, who was cringing at the corniness of the dialogue while glancing into Ben's eyes, like he was doing a fourth wall break camera-glance in the style of The Office…

However, Chuck was only roleplaying what Legolas did in that scene of LOTR. Seriously, Ben didn't believe it himself until someone told him that and he YouTubed it. Now, whenever he watched the Council of Elrond scene, he could never unsee it…