25 Return to the Leaf! (1/2)

Have you guys ever woken up and just felt like your whole body is in pain? Not like getting a cramp, but like every injury you've had in the past just came back to haunt you?

I can't see if you guys are responding from here so I'll just put most of you down as erectile dysfunction. Hold up, wrong chart, my bad. Uh, here it is. Ah yes, this one has the two other options that other one was missing.

Now tell me, is your response yes, no, or erectile dysfunction? Now there is no shame in being honest. Hey, hey. HEY! CALM DOWN! Good. Now, hold long have you had this problem.

Oh I'm not a doctor. Let me just assume you guys said no and skip this medical bullshit since I don't understand what most of it means anyway. So where was I? Oh yeah, intense pain. Yeah, my regeneration does not help me with sore muscles, and to make matters even worse the regenerated muscles constantly getting re-regenerated made it even more sore, so now I can't move.

But I have shadow clones to carry me! ”I SUMMON YE, LARRY, BOB, AND TIM!” I believe it's important to put emotion into what you do, even if you are summoning yourself to go and carry you around. I sit back and relax as I have my clones carry me on a stretcher of sorts over to the tiger, well the cave where the tiger had that Ezekiel kid stay at.

After we got to the mouth of the cave I heard the tiger sage's voice get closer, ”Ah, I see you are awake with a few hours to spare, excell- what in the hell do you think you're doing boy?” Ah he must have seen me being carried by my clones that, miraculously, aren't suffering from the same pain as me. I guess they are chakra constructs after all and they won't mimic my physical state unless I want them to.

I have the clones turn the stretcher horizontally so my face can see the tiger, ”Well, long story short, pain. Short story long, it fucking hurts and I can't move. I figured so long as I can recover before the day ends I'll be fine.” I have no energy to argue with you man! Ples, be good kitteh.

Nope, he is looking at me with a scowl, ”You humans are so weak, its a wonder that my master ever managed to be worthy from how weak you all are. Take the damn scroll and don't come back until you are ready to fight me for a weak straight. Now get!” He flings the scroll to me with his tail right towards me and I instinctively tried to catch it, but doing so made the muscles in my arm scream out and forced me to pull my arms back to my sides where they won't hurt as much.

After the scroll hits me in the gut I have one of my clones throw it into the storage and then to teleport back to the leaf. Wait, I have different ways I can play this since I still have time before the war. Go to my house and sleep until the fighting happens, which I will say is tempting but probably not the best idea, go to the Hokage's office and probably be sent to the hospital, or I can go through the main gates and make a badass entrance even though I am on the stretcher, then probably be sent to the hospital.

Yep, I am going to make a badass entrance. I have my clones flash with me over to the gate of the leaf and sweet Jesus, I'm looking at it upside down and it is throwing off all of my senses, is one of my clones carrying me lower?

Suddenly my head hits the ground, and due to my soreness I couldn't catch myself easily as I landed. After a few more moments my feet fall and I get the memories of the clones, nothing happened, they just disappeared?! Oh shit, an enemy then!

I quickly roll to the left and push past the pain and try to use the Thunder God technique,but for some reasons I can't sense the formula I put down? Oh shit this is a trap meant just for me, isn't it?

After I rolled over I saw where I was before was a kunai in the place of my head so I roll back over to it and try to grab it despite my muscles pain, but when I do someone steps onto my hand! Shit!

I try to pick up my hand but I am so weak right now Arthur could beat me up! Think Joe think!

Fuck, suddenly the back of my head is struck and I push my conscious to make a shadow clone and have him get away and get help. Even if I was weak my shadow clones should have been able to at least sense them. Soon after my vision fades to black.

***********************Unknown Assailant's POV*********************************

Hehe, I was very happy when, out of this boring week I was having, our target popped up, and what made it even better was the fact that he was weakened!

I saw that he was using shadow clones, so just to be safe I used the scroll given to each of us to discreetly call for backup. After I made sure it left I sealed the area using another scroll since he used a technique that the damned 2nd Hokage used, thankfully though it seems he only uses it for travel and when in combat it is easy enough to read given a few hits.

After I made sure he couldn't run and that I had enough help I threw a Kunai at the clone that was holding his head, that way he would hopefully be dazed. After I saw him turn his head to the side I threw another two Kunai at the clones that were holding his feet, and as soon as he hit the ground I threw one towards his arm to incapacitate him, or I tried, but suddenly a branch fell to my left causing the kunai to go right for his head!

Shit! I started running from the trees to try and counter the Kunai as I would not just fail the mission but be executed for how important he is! I got lucky, especially since the Kunai I threw to counter missed slightly and dug straight into the wooden walls of the leaf. I couldn't help but think that this area won't be isolated for long and I needed to knock him out fast!

I ran up to him and saw that he was turning over and reaching for the Kunai with great difficulty, but sadly in his weakened state I was much faster and stepped onto his wrist. There is no way that he can overpower me and the strict training that my Village has had me endure to get to this point. I was getting annoyed by his struggles so I used my other foot to kick his head, yet the bastard was still clinging to his mentality! I raised my foot and kicked again, this time harder, which ended up knocking him out successfully. Now I needed to take him back to the rendezvous point where my group was stationed at.