6 And This is why Alcohol is Bad Kids! (1/2)

I looked around me and saw a couple dozen people passed out around me with satisfied looks on their faces, cups with sake in their hand, and cards thrown about everywhere.

The most shocking thing? Well I will tell you right now it wasn't Tsunade cuddling me with my face in her breasts while she was passed out, it was that Jiraiya was unknowingly cuddling me from behind. The man was practically hugging me all so he could cop a feel on Tsunade's breasts.

Now I bet you're wondering how I got this situation and how I'm one of Jiraiya's hands clenching for me to get the full brunt of her fury on me?

Well it goes back to when I was born... wait no that's too far back. Skip. High school... nope skip. Working... skip, man this is like a DVD. Time to crank it up to x16 speed. Okay stop, think this is it.

'It all started after me and Tsunade had our night of brief pleasure, little did we know months later we would-' WOAH. WOAH. I didn't want to see that far ahead, spoiler alert me next time. Jesus. let's try going to the chapter menu this time.

Okay, give me five minutes and I'll let you know if it's safe.

Yeah okay this is where we need to be from now on. ROLL SCRIPT.

...

After stopping right by Jiraiya he stopped quickly, and since he lost his momentum he ended up falling on his face. That didn't stop him for long though, ”Woah I didn't see you there until right now. That's faster than my fastest by far, I couldn't even follow you with my eyes. No will feel like an idiot for racing you at your own speed, I should've gone full speed immediately. Well now that you're here shall we go to Danzo?” He smiled all throughout his talk, he definitely looked forward to testing his abilities with someone new and younger(?) than him.

”Nah, while you were standing there I went and handled him. Guess what I did?” He looks at me while raising an eyebrow, ”Wait standing there? I wasn't moving and you were? How long did you do this?” He sounds strangely serious right now, well whatever, ”Yeah I ran from the hallway to here, saw you frozen in quite a stupid running pose then I ran over to Danzo and worked my magic, came back and released it.”

He looks at me sternly, ”How long did you do that?” I raise an eyebrow, ”Uh I think like 10 minutes?” He facepalms, ”Do you know what you just did?” I shake my head, was it bad? ”You just did something almost no ninjas have been able to do. You practically stopped time for 10 minutes and from what I can tell you could've done it longer. Any ninja would kill for that technique. Hell if I had that technique I can imagine what kind of trouble I could get into. Ohoho, the hotspring is calling me. QUICK TELL ME HOW TO DO IT. Wait no, I must exercise restraint, you are a friend.”

He backs away from me for a bit, ”But I just used the technique you showed me? I felt chakra flowing through my body so I doubled it as a test and noticed time was even slower so I went and doubled it again, that led to the effect from before.” I told him truthfully since Jiraiya had been one of my favorite characters along with Minato.

He looks at me for a second before sighing. ”Okay activate your version of it but only double it once. I'll show you what happens when I do what you did”

I comply and activate the body flicker technique but I only double it once. I watch for a moment as Jiraiya appears to move in a speed that is more akin to walking but slower than it is running, and he does it around me almost walking into me but before he does I simply walk around him and grab his shoulder, deactivating both his and my Jutsu.

He turns around and looks at me, ”See? Plus it drains chakra too quickly. To get to your speeds I would maybe be able to hold it for half a second and I honestly don't know why.” He shrugs and sighs as he regains his breath.

”Well maybe it's because I condensed my chakra so much” He clamps his hand over my mouth quickly for some reason, ”Don't talk about that. We can talk about it later, it is a sensitive topic. For now,” He puts a large grin on his face, ”We drink. Now we race, and to give me a chance don't go to even your double speed.” I chuckle a bit and nod, this will be fun.

Me and him both walk outside before nodding to each other and I ask him, ”On the count of 3?” He nods and replies, ”Go ahead and count off.” He puts a smile on his face as he gets into a running pose so I respond in kind before I count.

”3, 2, 1- Hey wait you bastard! GO!” I activate my normal body flicker technique and Sprint past the bastard who decided to take off at 1. Little does he know is that even my normal body flicker technique is still faster than normal techniques so I dash ahead of him and start gaining distance but I encountered a problem.

”I don't know where the bar is!” Fuck! I run back to Jiraiya only to notice he was sprinting in the opposite direction. Oh so he thought he'd outsmart me eh? I follow him from a distance before I see him heading toward a building with and open front and a curtain pulled to the side, the sign says Bar in English. How odd.

I Sprint again and end up getting in right before him and end my Jutsu. After a momentJiraiya pops up and looks at me, ”wait what, I thought for sure I lost you back there?! How did you find the Bar??” His mouth practically dropped when I replied to him, ”I didn't find it, I found you.” I give him a big shit eating grin.

”So I have no money so how about you buy me a couple drinks as a reward for beating you after cheating” I raise my eyebrow and grin at him until he sighs, ”Fine, only 2 though. Haven't had a mission in awhile so I haven't gotten paid for a bit.” Success, he gave in! There's no booze like free booze.

He leads me to a room where Tsunade was almost nude from gambling with a bunch of guys. All she had left was her shoes, socks, and her undershirt. She had lost her robe and several other items. ”Seems like you've been having bad luck again Tsunade Haha” I can tell by the look on his face he wants to join in and get rid of the last of her clothing.

She looks at him and shakes her head, ”Well there goes my buzz. Give me my clothes and some liquor you guys” They look at each other before nodding, they knew if they got her drunk again they'd at least have a chance at getting her naked again with how much she liked to gamble.

After the guys took off I went and sat down on the opposite side of Tsunade while Jiraiya sits in between the two of us at one of the tables edges. After she finishes getting dressed she looks at me, ”So why are you out of the hospital?” Sorry bud but I'm throwing you under the bus. I point at Jiraiya and he laughs nervously before answering, ”Well Tsunade he, Um, was hungry so I took him out. Raced and he won. (He also may or may not have practically stopped time for 10 minutes.).”

I couldn't hear what it was that he said but it was definitely important enough to make her become upset with him enough to the point that she grabs him by the scruff of his shirt and ask, ”What was that last part. I can't help but feel like it was the most important... Hmm??”

Oh he's getting the evil eye from her, and he didn't last long. After a moment he broke and responded to her, ”He practically stopped time with the body flicker technique... for 10 minutes.” I both want to make fun of him for giving in so fast but I know how strong Tsunade is based on the anime.

Oh shit she's looking at me, ”This fool telling the truth?” I nod in response. I still need to build up some resistance to talking to her. Puberty doesn't help with this as my old anxiety either so I can only give simple responses.

She glares at Jiraiya before sighing, seeing her give up I look to Jiraiya, ”So how about some alcohol now? I'll give one of mine to Tsunade” It's fine to talk to her through Jiraiya but man I forgot how bad I used to be with girls. He nods before calling forth a waiter and ordering a couple sakes, One for each of us.