27 CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN (1/2)
I watch him walk down the path and climb into the big black Audi. He doesn't look back. I close the door and stand helpless in the living room of an apartment that I shall only spend another two nights in. A place I have lived happily for almost four years … yet today, for the first time ever, I feel lonely and uncomfortable here, unhappy with my own company. Have I strayed so far from who I am? I know that lurking, not very far under my rather numb exterior, is a well of tears. What am I doing? The irony is I can't even sit down and enjoy a good cry. I'll have to stand. I know it's late, but I decide to call my mom.
”Honey, how are you? How was graduation?” she enthuses down the phone. Her voice is a soothing balm.
”Sorry it's so late,” I whisper.
She pauses.
”Ana? What's wrong?” She's all seriousness now.
”Nothing, Mom, I just wanted to hear your voice.”
She's silent for a moment.
”Ana, what is it? Please tell me.” Her voice is soft and comforting, and I know that she cares. Uninvited, my tears begin to flow. I have cried so often in the last few days.
”Please, Ana,” she says, and her anguish reflects mine.
”Oh, Mom, it's a man.”
”What's he done to you?” Her alarm is palpable.
”It's not like that.” Although it is … Oh, crap. I don't want to worry her. I just want someone else to be strong for me at the moment.
”Ana, please, you're worrying me.”
I take a big breath. ”I've kind of fallen for this guy, and he's so different from me, and I don't know if we should be together.”
”Oh, darling. I wish I could be with you. I am so sorry I missed your graduation. You've fallen for someone, finally. Oh, honey, men, they are tricky. They're a different species, honey. How long have you known him?”
Christian is definitely a different species … different planet.
”Oh, nearly three weeks or so.”
”Ana, darling, that's no time at all. How can you possibly know someone in that kind of time frame? Just take it easy with him and keep him at arm's length until you decide whether he's worthy of you.”
Wow … it's unnerving when my mother is so insightful, but she's just too late on this. Is he worthy of me? That's an interesting concept. I always wonder whether I am worthy of him.
”Honey, you sound so unhappy. Come home—visit with us. I miss you, darling. Bob would love to see you, too. You can get some distance and maybe some perspective. You need a break. You've been working so hard.”
Oh boy, is this tempting. Run away to Georgia. Grab some sunshine, some cocktails. My mother's good humor … her loving arms.
”I have two job interviews in Seattle on Monday.”
”Oh, that's wonderful news.”
The door opens and Kate appears, grinning at me. Her face falls when she sees I've been crying.
”Mom, I have to go. I'll think about a visit. Thank you.”
”Honey, please, don't let a man get under your skin. You're far too young. Go and enjoy yourself.”
”Yes, Mom, love you.”
”Oh, Ana, I love you, too, so much. Stay safe, honey.” I hang up and face Kate, who glares at me.
”Has that obscenely rich fucker upset you again?”
”No … sort of … er … yes.”
”Just tell him to take a hike, Ana. You've been so up and down since you met him. I've never seen you like this.”
The world of Katherine Kavanagh is very clear, very black and white. Not the intangible, mysterious, vague hues of gray that color my world. Welcome to my world.
”Sit, let's talk. Let's have some wine. Oh, you've had champagne.” She spies the bottle. ”Some good stuff, too.”
I smile ineffectually, looking apprehensively at the couch. I approach it with caution. Hmm … sitting.
”Are you okay?”
”I fell over and landed on my behind.”
She doesn't think to question my explanation, because I am one of the most uncoordinated people in Washington State. I never thought I'd see that as a blessing. I sit down gingerly, pleasantly surprised that I'm okay, and turn my attention to Kate but my mind glazes over and I'm pulled back to the Heathman—Well, if you were mine you wouldn't be able to sit down for a week after the stunt you pulled yesterday. He said it then, and all I could concentrate on at the time was being his. All the warning signs were there, I was just too clueless and too enamored to notice.
Kate comes back into the living area with a bottle of red wine and washed teacups.
”Here we go.” She hands me a cup of wine. It won't taste as good as the Bolly.
”Ana, if he's a jerk with commitment issues, dump him. Though I don't really understand his commitment issues. He couldn't take his eyes off you in the marquee, watched you like a hawk. I'd say he was completely smitten, but maybe he has a funny way of showing it.”
Smitten? Christian? Funny way of showing it? I'll say.
”Kate, it's complicated. How was your evening?” I ask.
I can't talk this through with Kate without revealing too much, but one question on her day and Kate is off. It's reassuring to sit and listen to her normal chatter. The hot news is that Ethan may be coming to live with us after their vacation. That will be fun—Ethan is a hoot. I frown. I don't think Christian will approve.
Well … tough. He'll just have to suck it up. I have a couple of teacups of wine and decide to call it a night. It's been one very long day. Kate hugs me, and then grabs the phone to call Elliot.
I check the mean machine after I brush my teeth. There's an e-mail from Christian.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: You
Date: May 26 2011 23:14
To: Anastasia Steele
Dear Miss Steele,
You are quite simply exquisite. The most beautiful, intelligent, witty, and brave woman I have ever met. Take some Advil—this is not a request. And don't drive your Beetle again. I will know.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
Oh, not drive my car again! I type out my reply.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Flattery
Date: May 26 2011 23:20
To: Christian Grey
Dear Mr. Grey,
Flattery will get you nowhere, but since you've been everywhere the point is moot.
I will need to drive my Beetle to a garage so I can sell it—so will not graciously accept any of your nonsense over that.
Red wine is always more preferable to Advil.
Ana
P.S.: Caning is a HARD limit for me.
I hit ”send.”
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Frustrating Women Who Can't Take Compliments
Date: May 26 2011 23:26
To: Anastasia Steele
Dear Miss Steele,
I am not flattering you. You should go to bed.
I accept your addition to the hard limits.
Don't drink too much.
Taylor will dispose of your car and get a good price for it, too.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Taylor—Is He the Right Man for the Job?
Date: May 26 2011 23:40
To: Christian Grey
Dear Sir,
I am intrigued that you are happy to risk letting your right-hand man drive my car but not some woman you fuck occasionally. How can I be sure that Taylor is the man to get me the best deal for said car? I have, in the past, probably before I met you, been known to drive a hard bargain.
Ana
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Careful!
Date: May 26 2011 23:44
To: Anastasia Steele
Dear Miss Steele,
I am assuming it is the RED WINE talking, and that you've had a very long day.
Though I am tempted to drive back over there to ensure that you don't sit down for a week, rather than an evening.
Taylor is ex-army and capable of driving anything from a motorcycle to a Sherman tank. Your car does not present a hazard to him.
Now please do not refer to yourself as ”some woman I fuck occasionally” because, quite frankly, it makes me MAD, and you really wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Careful Yourself
Date: May 26 2011 23:57
To: Christian Grey
Dear Mr. Grey,
I'm not sure I like you anyway, especially at the moment.
Miss Steele
From: Christian Grey