Chapter 483: So, Imperial Physician Gu knows how to joke (2/2)

Anyone else might have asked her why, but Gu Beiyue simply ordered his servant to replace the tea and snacks with clear water. The three of them settled down to sit in a pavilion. Anyone else might have asked Han Yunxi why she decided to drop by, but Gu Beiyue simply asked, “Esteemed wangfei, did you bring the plans with you?”

Han Yunxi was worried that Gu Beiyue would ask her questions after Gu Qi Sha rambled about Long Feiye and his junior sister at the gates. But it was much less awkward for the man to think she was here for the plans instead. She looked over unhappily at Gu Qi Sha and said, “Where are the plans?”

Gu Qi Sha had been planning to sow discord between the lass and Long Feiye by revealing the secrets of the antidote to Broomcorn Millet Poison. But seeing her less angry now made him reluctant to pursue the issue. He took out the plans and spread them out on the table. The paper was covered with multiple handwritten notes from Han Yunxi, Gu Beiyue and Gu Qi Sha.

“Esteemed wangfei, take a look over here. This one believes that we should change the plans a bit. If we expand this section, it’ll be better,” Gu Beiyue said.

Han Yunxi might not be angry anymore, but she was still in low spirits. She only glanced at the spot Gu Beiyue had indicated before she asked, “Gu Qi Sha, what do you think?”

Gu Qi Sha examined the area for a bit before nodding seriously. “He’s right.”

“Then change it,” Han Yunxi muttered listlessly. Gu Beiyue and Gu Qi Sha pointed out a few more places, but Han Yunxi’s mood didn’t improve. In fact, she even seemed to be drifting off. Gu Beiyue darted intermittent glances at Han Yunxi before he simply changed the topic.

“A few days ago I heard a cold joke1 from the palace. It was very funny, shall I share it with you two for your amusement?”

Han Yunxi didn’t answer, but Gu Qi Sha spoke up. “What kind of joke?”

“Once upon a time, there was a bear. He said, ‘it’s so, so cold! It’s so, so cold!’” Gu Beiyue replied seriously.

“And then?” Gu Qi Sha asked.

“And then that was it, haha!” Gu Beiyue laughed.

Gu Qi Sha was puzzled. “That’s it?”

“Mhm, that’s it. It’s funny, right? Haha!” Gu Beiyue was still laughing.

Who would have ever expected the gentle and warm head imperial physician, ever considerate of proper etiquette, would know how to joke and laugh to his heart’s content? Gu Qi Sha just rolled his eyes, but Gu Beiyue couldn’t stop laughing uncontrollably.

Finally, Han Yunxi spoke up. “That joke’s not a bit cold. I know one that’s colder.”

Gu Qi Sha wasn’t interested, but Gu Beiyue’s expression was filled with expectation. “Really? This official shall listen with respectful attention.”

Seeing this, Han Yunxi bolstered her spirits and said seriously, “Once upon a time, there was a polar bear sitting all alone on the ice. He was so bored that he started pulling his hairs for fun. One hair…two hairs…three hairs…until he was left with no hairs at all.”

She stopped speaking after that.

“And then?” Gu Beiyue asked curiously.

“Guess!” Han Yunxi purposely kept him in suspense.

Gu Beiyue only shook his head. “I have no idea.”

“And then he cried out…it’s so cold!”

Gu Beiyue gave a start at her words, while Han Yunxi burst into laughter. His stunned expression only made her laugh harder. “It’s a really cold joke, isn’t it? Hahaha!”

Gu Beiyue kept his dumbfounded expression even as his eyes sparkled with warmth. The so-called ‘cold joke’ wasn’t meant to make other people laugh, but to amuse oneself instead. Oftentimes the joker would laugh even louder than their listeners.

Gu Qi Sha seriously didn’t find either of the jokes funny at all. But after he saw Han Yunxi laughing so, he pretended to shiver and shake. “So cold, so cold! You’re freezing this old fellow to death, hehe!” Finally, he added, “This old fellow will join in as well! Once upon a time, there was a eunuch. Guess what he had below him?”

Han Yunxi thought it over for a long time but couldn’t figure it out.

“Gu Beiyue, you guess!” Gu Qi Sha said.

Gu Beiyue didn’t say anything, so Han Yunxi asked quizzically, “It can’t be that there’s nothing else?”

Gu Beiyue suppressed his chuckle at that, while Gu Qi Sha laughed out loud. “Han Yunxi, you’re a genius!”

Han Yunxi didn’t catch on right away. She thought it over carefully and tried again, “Once upon a time there was a eunuch that had…nothing else below him?”2

Seeing her perplexed expression, Gu Qi Sha laughed hard enough to make his stomach hurt. “HahaHAH!”

Finally, Han Yunxi got the joke. She picked up the plans and hit Gu Qi Sha with them “You’re shameless!” When she looked at Gu Beiyue, she only saw that he was holding back his laughter and had gotten the punchline long ago.

Fine, this time she couldn’t help laughing as well. Really, Gu Qi Sha had made a clever turn of phrase with that sentence. Just like that, her depression evaporation in a cloud of merriment without her noticing a thing.

But while all of them were enjoying themselves, Gu Beiyue’s expression suddenly blanched. In the next instant, Gu Qi Sha pulled Han Yunxi into his arms at the same time a rain of arrows poured in from all directions!

Assassins had arrived!

1. cold joke (冷笑话) – lengxiaohua, jokes that aren’t designed to make the listener laugh out loud, but amusing either in an ironic, sarcastic, or possibly punny way.

2. eunuch…below him (太监下面…没有了) – taijian xiamian meiyoule, to put it bluntly, HYX just said that the eunuch didn’t have anything on his lower half, which is true because all eunuchs have been castrated.