53 The Sudden Upse (2/2)
“How others address me, praise me, curse me, that is their business. For me, I am myself. I want to remember this point, so I choose to address myself as ‘I’.”
As Kali looked into Shi Xiaobai’s eyes, she asked softly, “Do you understand?”
Shi Xiaobai fell silent and slowly lowered his head. The fist he placed behind his back tightened secretly.
He understood all the principles.
Yes, she possessed true strength. There was no need to emphasize her existence, so she only needed to address herself with “I”. She only needed to believe in herself.
However, he wasn’t her. He did not possess the strength she had. He was just a weakling. He was powerless in front of a calamity fiend or an astral beast, so he was unable to believe the he who addressed himself as “I”.
Shi Xiaobai clenched his fist tighter. His heart felt like it was being seized, making him feel extremely uncomfortable.
“However, Shi Xiaobai, I was once the same as you.”
Suddenly, a gentle voice came out from Kali as she whispered, “Ten thousand years ago, I was helpless in front of the calamity at the end of days. I witnessed my species destroyed, and the withering of the World Tree. Then, I began to address myself as ‘This Queen’.”
Upon hearing this, Shi Xiaobai suddenly looked up. An indescribable flicker of light could be seen in his eyes, as if he was full of anticipation.
Under that fiery gaze, Kali felt the ice melt in her heart. She said shyly, “So, when I first heard you address yourself as ‘This King’, I found it truly affectionate. It was as though I was looking at my past self. *Giggle* Actually, back then, I did not only address myself as ‘This Queen’. Things like ‘This Esteemed One’, ‘This Empress’, ‘This Lady’, ‘This Goddess’… I have addressed myself using all of them. Now that I think of it, I feel a bit embarrassed and shy about it, but I also feel a sense of warmth.”
“That’s why, Shi Xiaobai, although in the eyes of others, you who call yourself ‘This King’ might sound silly, but to me, you are very cute!”
As Kali spoke, she could not help but stretch out her hand to pinch Shi Xiaobai’s cheeks. Shi Xiaobai immediately raised his hands to block her, but after hearing Kali’s bell-like laughter, he could not help but suffuse a smile on his lips.
Kali stopped messing around, as she said earnestly, “I understand, Shi Xiaobai. I understand why you call yourself ‘This King’. It is not because of hubris, nor is it because of narcissism, much less you indulging in fantasy.”
“It’s just because the person who calls himself ‘I’ is just too weak. Even your most valuable things cannot be protected, so there is doubt, disappointment and finally, abandonment.”
“Calling yourself ‘This King’ is not to make others acknowledge or believe you, even less do you care if they call you King. It’s just to remind yourself all the time how weak you are. It’s just to ensure that you do not waver from becoming a ‘King’ that is able to protect everything.”
“You are doing so just to believe in yourself!”
Kali’s voice was as soft as the gentle wind in the early spring, as though it could melt all the snow in the world.
Shi Xiaobai was truly dumbfounded this time. Neither was his eyes widened nor his mouth gaping, instead, his eyes felt a tug at them, as his chest began feeling warm, but he did not know what to say.
No one knew that Shi Xiaobai had always referred to himself as “I” on Earth. Even when he first came to this different world, his conversation with Little Fatso used the word “I”. Only after he encountered the calamity fiend, Sahadun, and experienced what was known as despair, did he realize how weak he was. Just as Kali said, he was feeling doubt, disappointment, and eventually abandonment.
After a heart-wrenching cry while hugging Little Fatso, he began calling himself “This King”. Despite the repeated protests of Riko or how others thought of him as an “idiot”, he still resolutely called himself “This King”.
No one knew about these matters. Similarly, Kali did not know either, but she knew better than anyone. She had so easily touched the soft spot in his heart.
“But in my eyes, you are not weak. You are stronger than anyone, so Shi Xiaobai, in the future when you are in front of me, address yourself as ‘I’, alright?”
Kali’s voice was very soft, almost to the point of a whisper.
However, her words were heavy that sank directly to the bottom of Shi Xiaobai’s heart.
If the world truly could be touched, then it was probably this feeling?
Two streams of hot tears flowed out of Shi Xiaobai’s eyes.
“En!”
Shi Xiaobai nodded his head, crying, as though he had suffered for a very long period of time. Finally, he let it out like a child.
Kali sighed as she reached her hand out to wipe the tears on Shi Xiaobai’s cheeks. She asked softly, “Youth, do you desire power?”
Kali thought that if he wanted power, she was willing to give it to him.
This was the third time Kali asked this question, but the mood was already completely different.
This was the third time Shi Xiaobai heard this question. He no longer felt the same. Did he want power?
If power could allow him to protect the things he treasured, then, yes, he desired it!
Shi Xiaobai turned agape, and was about to shout out the word “yes”, but suddenly, he could not shout at all.
This was because time had come to a standstill. The world was fixed at that moment.
“Make your choice, youth!”
The fiery voice and the black text appeared without any warning once again!
[ Choice 1: In one minute, say three lines that mock flat chests. The target has to be Kali, and she has to hear it clearly! ]
[ Choice 2: In one minute, say three lines that profess your love. The target has to be Kali, and she has to hear it clearly! ]
(Gentle Reminder: This choice is considered a “Mischief-style choice” where only the choice is performed. No reward.)
“Make your choice, youth!”
Author’s Note: A foreshadowing that has existed for about 50 chapters has finally been revealed. I feel so good now! Furthermore, you can guess how Shi Xiaobai will choose. Remember, don’t use your usual way of thinking to guess my intentions!