28 Ask Yourself (1/2)

”What are you doing here?”

There is no better answer to that question as, ”I should be asking you the same, sir. I didn't know you play the violin to the extent that you are a virtuoso.”

He lets out a half-meant laugh. ”You think you know a person, but you don't.”

I look at him closely again. I could have sworn that day at the church was real. I saw him in his look of a youth, but now, I can't even tell. As he was about to leave, I call out to him. ”You were right about that day at the church.”

With just those mere words, he turns back to me. ”What day?”

”Tell me, was that time real? Was that time you told me about the Macedos real? Have I been just hallucinating about it?”

He gives me that sly smile his annoying self would give. ”What do you think? Let's try the Socratic method. Do you think you saw me at church? What church was this? How did you see me that day?”

And just like that, he plays another game. Then again, was it indeed real? ”You were in your look of a youth,” I say to him, remembering that day. ”The leaves of autumn fall about yet one green leaf lands on my shoulder. You pray in Latin, which is quite odd because – ”

”You never heard me speak Latin,” he says in reply.

”Right, and then. . .” the words just come out like vomit of anger. ”You betrayed me! You let her take me! I was shooting bullets to her men and yet, you just stood there. You did not even bother calling the police. She could have killed me.”

”But, she didn't,” he says back. ”I know she won't kill you. She only kills those that actually have claims in her fortune.”

He then turns away from me and beckons me to walk with him. ”Come on. Let's not talk here.”

I don't know where he wants to go, but I just follow him. We go through the same staff-only passage way that leads up into the second level. However, instead on going to the second level, we head up two more floors. We reach the end of the passageway with a door that leads to some room. He opens the door with rusty hinges. In his brief struggle to open the door, I see him smile when he finally opens it. It turns out that that door leads to the rooftop – the highest floor of the Metro Arts Theater. A pretty sight indeed. In this full moon night, the stars shine bright. From up here, I can already see the streetlights light like flickering fireflies. The skyscrapers of Lucia City tower all around us. I hear the chirping of the crickets in this night.

”Pretty place isn't it?” he says as he notices my joy.

I know he's trying to be nice, but I let that not get to me. ”It still does not excuse why you let me be taken. It still does not excuse why you have that serious look again. Tell me, was that look you had only a wig?”

He just shrugs. ”I don't know. What do you think? You already learned that that day was real.” Suddenly, he just falls into silence. ”She drugged you, didn't she? That's why you doubt your judgment of whether that day was real.”

”She said she wanted to see me,” I say lowly. ”She promised that she will not kill me because she is afraid of you. You are the only one she seems to fear.”

He says nothing. Instead, he just looks up the night sky. ”Why would she fear you?” I ask again.

”Ms. Aguinaldo, you have seen what I could do,” he says in reply. ”That time at the bar was one example. I can do many things that not even you can fathom. But, let's just say that I did some things that she fears I'd do again.”

And still, he plays that game again. I can already feel the scorn rising within me. ”You are truly a man of many things, sir,” I say tartly. ”Professor? Violinist? Son of an elite? Liar? Fornicator? What are you? How could you force a woman to abort a child for your sake? How could you not acknowledge the child as yours?”

Not in the slightest he takes me seriously. He just smirks to himself. ”You know the funny thing about rumors, Ms. Aguinaldo. It's not how ridiculous some of them are, but how it can ruin a person's life.”

”But do you think it is still a rumor that the brother of your accompanist believes you are eyeing his sister?”

He turns to me all of a sudden. ”Ask yourself that, Ms. Aguinaldo. You saw how I act at Ferrydell University. I may act like your friend back then, but I never crossed the line. I play the fiddle, but I will not fiddle around. These rumors will truly never stop plaguing me until I die. Just like how women such as Ysabel plague me.”

The bitterness in his voice rings like bells in a Sunday. ”I know you are mad at me,” he continues. ”I know why you interrogate me like this. But, that day at the church, I did nothing because I wanted you to see what you're getting into. Just like what I got into when I met her. I thought I'd escape that life when my father chose a way out of it, but it just keeps returning to me. Just like her.”

He left me speechless. I do not know who to believe anymore. Attorney Guevarra looks at him with suspicion, but the man I see here is nothing but a man who does not want a part of it. I want to console him by holding him, but he just breaks it off. In this rooftop, the ledges that decorate this theater act as accents for the building itself, but right now, he sits on it, looking down – looking down at the guests walking their way home. I take a sit beside him. Unfortunately, as I look down, I can feel the bile build up my throat. Maybe, I'm not one for heights. I take a step back away from the ledge.

”I see you fear the heights,” he says casually as he continues looking down. ”You don't really fear the heights, Rosanna. You fear what lies down there. You fear of falling, not the heights itself. However, sometimes I wonder what it must feel like to jump – just jump away from these troubles. If only forgetting is just one jump away.”

As he says those words, he rises to his feet. I see him spread his arms as if he feels the wind all around him. In my haste, I pull him back away from the ledge. ”No, don't do it,” I say to him as I put him on safe ground. ”The world needs you. I need you.”

He just lets out a pitiful smile. ”You love me, do you, Miss Aguinaldo?”

I have no words to say. I was taken aback for I did not know he would say that. I could feel myself flushing with his words. ”I, I – ”