Chapter 126 (2/2)
He stops and pulls back, gazing down at me.
”No. I think I want some answers first before we do any more.”
More There's that word again. And he wants answers... answers to whatI don't have a secret past - I don't have a harrowing childhood. What could he possibly want to know about me that he doesn't already know?
I sigh, resigned.
”What do you want to know?”
”Well, how you feel about our would-be arrangement, for starters.”
I blink at him. Truth or dare time - my subconscious and inner goddess glance nervously at one another. Hell, let's go for truth.
”I don't think I can do it for an extended period of time. A whole weekend being someone I'm not.” I flush and stare at my hands.
He tips my chin up, and he's smirking at me, amused.
”No, I don't think you could either.”
And part of me feels slightly affronted and challenged.
”Are you laughing at me?”
”Yes, but in a good way,” he says with a small smile.
He leans down and kisses me softly, briefly.
”You're not a great submissive,” he breathes as he holds my chin, his eyes dancing with humor.
I stare at him shocked, then I burst out laughing - and he joins me.
”Maybe I don't have a good teacher.”
He snorts.
”Maybe. Perhaps I should be stricter with you.” He cocks his head to one side and gives me an artful smile.
I swallow. Jeez, no. But at the same time, my muscles clench deliciously deep inside.
It is his way of showing that he cares. Perhaps the only way he can show he cares - I realize that. He's staring at me, gauging my reaction.
”Was it that bad when I spanked you the first time?”
I gaze back at him, blinking. Was it that bad I remember feeling confused by my reaction. It hurt, but not that much in retrospect. He's said over and over again it's more in my head. And the second time... Well, that was good... hot.
”No, not really,” I whisper.
”It's more the idea of it?” he prompts.
”I suppose. Feeling pleasure, when one isn't supposed to.”
”I remember feeling the same. Takes a while to get your head around it.”
Holy hell. This was when he was a kid.
”You can always safe-word, Anastasia. Don't forget that. And, as long as you follow the rules, which fulfill a deep need in me for control and to keep you safe, then perhaps we can find a way forward.”
”Why do you need to control me?”
”Because it satisfies a need in me that wasn't met in my formative years.”