Chapter 101 (1/2)

“I don’t believe you, especially since it doesn’t sound like you believe yourself.” He leans back against the cushion on the chair and lifts his legs onto the table. “Where’s your place at, then? Which neighborhood in Seattle?”

“It’s not in Seattle,” I say curtly. My tongue is suddenly made of lead, and I can’t get a word out.

“Oh, where, then? Which suburb?” he asks snidely.

“It’s New York, Hardin. I want to go—”

That gets him believing. “New York?” He removes his feet from the table and stands up. “You’re talking about actual New York? Or is that some little hipster neighborhood in Seattle that I haven’t come across yet?”

“Actual New York,” I clarify as he paces across the deck. “In a week.”

Hardin is silent except for his feet hitting the wood as he walks up and down the length of the deck. “When did you decide this?” he finally asks.

“After London and after my father passed away.” I stand.

“So me being an asshole to you made you want to pack your shit and go to New York City? You’ve never even left the state of Washington—what makes you think you could live in a place like that?”

His response stirs my defensive side. “I could live anywhere that I want! Don’t try to belittle me.”

“Belittle you? Tessa, you’re one thousand times better at everything than I am—I am not trying to belittle you. I’m only asking, what makes you think that you can live in New York? Where would you even live?”

“With Landon.”

Hardin’s eyes widen. “Landon?”

This is the look I’ve been waiting for, wishing wouldn’t come, but now that it’s here, sadly, I feel slightly at ease. Hardin was taking everything so well; he was being more understanding, calm, and cautious with his words than ever before. It was throwing me off.

This look I know. This is Hardin trying to control his temper.

“Landon. You and Landon are moving to New York.”

“Yes, he was already going, and I—”

“Whose idea was this—yours or his?” Hardin’s voice is low, and I realize that it’s much less angry than I expected. There is something worse than anger, though, and it’s hurt. Hardin is hurt, and I can feel my stomach and chest tightening at the surprised, betrayed, guarded energy taking over him.

I don’t want to tell Hardin that Landon asked me to move to New York. I don’t want to tell Hardin that Landon and Ken have been helping me with recommendation letters and transcripts, admission packets and applications.