Chapter 55 (1/2)

“I mean it, Tessa. Don’t you let any of those snobby fuckers make you feel bad for how you feel.”

I wish it were that simple. I wish I could be more like Hardin and not care what anyone thought of me or how other people feel, but I can’t. I’m just not made that way. I feel for others, even when I shouldn’t, and I would like to think that eventually that trait will stop being my downfall. Caring is a good trait to have, but it hurts me too often.

In the few short minutes I’ve been in the greenhouse with Hardin, almost all of my anger has disappeared. I’m not sure what has replaced it, but I no longer feel the burn of fury, just the steady burn of pain that I know will be a longtime companion of mine.

“Theresa!” my mother’s voice sounds through the yard, and Hardin and I both wince at the interruption.

“I have no problem telling any of them, her included, to fuck off. You know that, don’t you?” His eyes search mine, and I nod. I know he doesn’t, and part of me wants to unleash him on the crowd of chatty women who have no business being here.

“I know.” I nod again. “I’m sorry for venting like this. I just—”

The screen door opens and my mother steps into the greenhouse. “Theresa, please come inside,” she says authoritatively. She’s trying her best to mask her anger toward me, but her façade is slipping, and fast.

Hardin looks from my mother’s angry face to mine before stepping past both of us. “I was just leaving anyway.”

The memory of my mother’s finding him in my dorm room all those months ago passes through my mind. She was so mad and Hardin looked so defeated when I left with her and Noah. Those days feel so ancient now, so simple. I had no clue what was ahead, none of us did.

“What are you doing out here anyway?” she asks as I follow her through the yard and up the porch steps.

It’s none of her business what I was doing. She wouldn’t understand my selfish feelings, and I would never trust her enough to reveal them. She wouldn’t understand why I was talking to Hardin after avoiding him for three days. She wouldn’t understand anything that I could tell her, because she fundamentally doesn’t understand me.

So instead of answering her question, I stay quiet and wish that I would have had the chance to ask Hardin what he came to my greenhouse to hide from.

Chapter thirty-five

HARDIN

Hardin, please. I’ve got to get ready,” Tessa had whined into my chest one day. Her naked body was sprawled across me, distracting every brain cell I have left.