Chapter 119 (1/2)

“You would?” His bright eyes are shining, and I’m terrified that he may cry. I have no fucking idea what I would do if he cried right now. Run. I would run into the other room and hide behind Tessa.

“Yep. Now let’s talk about something a little less morbid.”

“What’s morbid?”

“Something that’s twisted and fucked up,” I explain.

“Bad word,” he scolds me.

“It’s okay for me to say, because I’m an adult.”

“Still a bad word.”

“You said two of them earlier. I could tell your dad on you,” I threaten.

“I’ll tell your pretty girl on you,” he counters, and I can’t help but laugh.

“Okay, okay, you win,” I say, gesturing for him to just stay put.

Tessa peers around the corner. “Smith, do you want to come in here with me?”

Smith looks at her, then looks back up at me and asks, “Can I stay with Hardin?”

“I don’t—” she begins, but I interrupt.

“Fine.” I sigh and hand the kid the remote.

Chapter seventy-two

TESSA

I watch as Smith settles in on the couch, scooting slightly closer to Hardin. Hardin looks at him with caution but doesn’t stop him or say anything about his proximity. It’s ironic that Smith seems to like Hardin, when Hardin clearly despises children. Though since Smith feels in some ways more like a country gentleman from an Austen novel, he may or may not be included in that category.

Never, he said to Smith when asked about marrying me.

Never. He never plans on having a future with me. I knew this somewhere deep inside, but it still hurts me to hear him say it, especially the cold and confident way he said it, like it was a joke or something. He could have softened the blow, even just a little.

I don’t want to be married right now, obviously, not for years. But it’s the idea that it isn’t even a possibility that hurts me, a lot. He says that he wants to be with me forever, yet he doesn’t want to be married? Are we supposed to just be “boyfriend and girlfriend” forever? Am I okay with never having children? Will he love me enough to make this all okay, despite the future I had always envisioned for myself?

I honestly don’t know, and my head is pounding thinking about it. I don’t want to obsess about the future right now; I’m only nineteen. We’ve been getting along so well, and I don’t want to ruin that.

After the kitchen is clean and the dishwasher is loaded, I check on Hardin and Smith once more before going into the bedroom to get my things ready for tomorrow. My phone rings as I lay out a long black skirt for tomorrow. Kimberly.

“Hey, is everything okay?” I ask after answering.

“Yeah, everything is okay. They’re giving him some antibiotics and we should be getting sent home soon. It may be late, I hope that’s okay,” she says.

“Of course it is. Do what you need to do.”

“How is Smith doing?”

“He’s good—he’s actually hanging out with Hardin,” I tell her, still not believing it myself.