Chapter 44 (1/2)

“I’m fine.”

“Tessa, what did I just say?” he growls and I look up at him. He seems to have forgotten that he doesn’t get to decide things for me anymore. No one does.

He softens and corrects himself. “Sorry . . . you stay here. I’ll go shopping with her.”

“Much better,” I say and try to fight my smile.

Hardin has been so gentle, so . . . afraid the last few days. Even if he was wrong to push me, it was kind of nice to see he’s still himself.

I go into the closet to change my clothes, and just as I lift the dress over my head, he taps on the door. “Tess?”

“Yes?” I say.

After a beat he asks, “You’ll be here when we get back?”

I snort. “Yeah. It’s not like I have anywhere else to go.”

“Okay. If you need anything, call me,” he says; the sadness in his voice is clear.

A few minutes later I hear the front door close and I emerge from the bedroom. I probably should have gone with them so I wouldn’t be here alone with my thoughts. I already feel lonely. After watching television for an hour, I am beyond bored. Periodically my phone buzzes and my mother’s name flashes on-screen. I ignore her entirely and wish Hardin would come back already. I grab my e-reader and start to read to pass the time, but I can’t stop looking at the clock.

I want to text Hardin and see how much longer they’ll be, but instead I decide to make dinner to pass the time. I go into the kitchen to decide what to make, something that takes a while but is easy. Lasagna it is, then.

Soon it’s eight, then eight thirty, and by nine I’m already thinking again that I’ll text him.

What the hell is wrong with me? One fight with my mother and suddenly I’m back to clinging to Hardin? If I’m honest with myself, I know that I never truly stopped clinging to him. Even though I don’t really want to admit it, I know that I’m not ready for a life without Hardin. I’m not going to jump into anything wholesale with him, but I’m exhausted from battling myself all the time over him. As terrible as he has been to me, I’m even more miserable without him than I was when I found out about the entire bet. Part of me is irritated at myself for my lack of strength, but another part can’t deny how resolved I felt when I came back today. I still need a little time to think, to see how everything goes with us being around one another. I’m still so confused.