Chapter 46 (1/2)

I want to be good for you, Tess. Hardin’s words from earlier tonight play in my head and I wonder if he meant them or if he was just really drunk.

“Are you still drunk?” I ask and lay my head on his chest. His body stills but he doesn’t push me off.

“No, I think our little screaming match in the yard sobered me up,” he says. One of his hands is holding the remote and the other is hanging in the air awkwardly as if he doesn’t know what to do with it.

“Oh, well, at least something good came out of it.”

He turns his head and looks down at me. “Yeah, I guess so,” he says, and finally puts his hand on my back. It’s an amazing feeling having him hold me. No matter what terrible thing he says to me tomorrow, he can’t take this moment away from me. This is my new favorite place to be, my head on his chest and his arm on my back.

“I think I actually like drunk Hardin better.” I yawn.

“Is that so?” he says and turns to look at me again.

“Maybe,” I tease and close my eyes.

“You’re terrible at distractions; now, tell me.”

I might as well just tell him. I know he isn’t going to drop it.

“Well, I was just thinking of all the girls you’ve . . . you know, done things with.” I try to hide my face in his chest, but he drops the remote on the bed and tilts my chin up to look at him.

“Why were you thinking about that?”

“I don’t know . . . because I have literally no experience and you have a lot. Steph included,” I answer. The image of the two of them together makes me nauseous.

“Are you jealous, Tess?” His voice is full of humor.

“No, of course not,” I lie.

“So you don’t mind if I tell you a few details, then?”

“No! Please don’t!” I beg, and he chuckles and wraps his arm a little tighter around me.

He doesn’t say anything else about it, and I could not be more relieved. I couldn’t bear to hear the details of his flings. I feel my eyes getting heavier and try to focus on the television. I am so comfortable lying here in his arms.

“You’re not going to sleep, are you? It’s still early,” he says, barely breaking through my haze.

“Is it?” It feels like it has to be at least two in the morning. I arrived here around nine.

“Yeah, it’s only midnight.”

“That isn’t early.” I yawn again.