Chapter 122 - Shen Yan’s Side Story (Part 4) (2/2)

Shen Yan looked at the suit Jiang Cheng was wearing, the same color and style as his own. At this point, he couldn’t even be bothered to roll his eyes.

Their journey was completely silent. Shen Yan didn’t speak, so Jiang Cheng decided against speaking as well, as if he really was just there to take Shen Yan out to eat. After eating, he dropped Shen Yan back off at the office, still silent.

A month passed quickly amidst Jiang Cheng’s harassment and Shen Yan couldn’t endure it any longer. “Jiang Cheng, if you have something to say to me, say it…”

Jiang Cheng cut him off, saying, “Say it, huh? I’m pursuing you.”

Shen Yan: …

“No matter what, we lost seven years. My explanation wasn’t hope that you would forgive me. I just wanted you to know I never stopped loving you, so, let’s begin anew.”

Shen Yan’s gaze turned cold. “You think we can start anew just because you say so?”

Jiang Cheng thought for a moment. “No, which is why I’m pursuing you.”

Shen Yan’s cold mask cracked, raging, “Do you even understand?! It’s over! My love for you is gone! Seven whole years, and you think you can make up for it just like that? You didn’t tell me anything about your decisions back then, walking away and baring the burden alone, and now you suddenly come back and tell me all this?! What do you take me for?! You keep saying you love me, but which of your actions reflect that?”

In the end, he even sounded a little hysterical.

Shen Yan had never lost his temper like that before in his entire life. These were his inner demons. He could understand that Jiang Cheng didn’t have a choice, but he couldn’t let go of it. Jiang Cheng had never trusted him, and still didn’t trust him to deal with these issues, so he had kept it all from him. He hadn’t even contacted Shen Yan once in all these years he was away. He could understand, but he couldn’t forgive.

The more he had loved Jiang Cheng back then, the more the wound hurt now, unable to close.

Jiang Cheng gazed at him, a melancholy sort of smile on his face as he reached out to touch Shen Yan’s face carefully, like Shen Yan was fragile as glass. “I understand.”

“You don’t!” Shen Yan shouted before suddenly, shockingly, pushing Jiang Cheng down onto the seat and kissing him.

The kiss was wild, with hints of heartbreak. Jiang Cheng was stunned for a moment before he began trembling. Shen Yan bit and tore at Jiang Cheng’s lips, like it wasn’t a kiss, but he was instead trying to devour the other.

“You have no idea how heartbroken I am. You keep saying you don’t want to hurt me, yet you don’t even realize you’re the only one who can. Do you know my despair when I couldn’t find you? Did you know that I didn’t even dare sleep in the first few years after you left? As soon as I closed my eyes, all I could see and feel was you. You say you understand, but you don’t!”

Shen Yan collapsed against Jiang Cheng’s chest, voice raspy and slowly wetting Jiang Cheng’s shirt with tears. That was when Jiang Cheng realized that the other was crying. He cupped Shen Yan’s face between his hands and tilted his head up to see Shen Yan crying like a child. His lips trembled as he wiped at Shen Yan’s tears, yet he new ones always came to replace them.

“I know.” Jiang Cheng raised his arm, rolling up his sleeve and revealing his arm. Looking into Shen Yan’s eyes, he said slowly, “I never thought I’d be the one to hurt you so, and only realized when I came back, but even though I knew, I also knew I could no longer let go.”

These years of hardship had taught him that if he lost Shen Yan, it would be worse than death. Shen Yan was in pain, but so was he. However, no matter how painful, he had never thought of letting it go. Even if Shen Yan hated him, never forgave him, he wouldn’t let go, not even in death.

There was a tattoo on Jiang Cheng’s arm.

Shen Yan’s eyes widened, going silent at the sight of Jiang Cheng’s arm. He reached out, gently stroking the tattoo there for a while, before grabbing Jiang Cheng’s face and kissing him like he had gone crazy.

The tattoo wasn’t done in one go, but instead composed of many green dots that formed words, some new and some old, like something sharp had stabbed a dot onto his arm each day, forming the words.

Scrawled there was, ‘Shen Yan.’

Jiang Cheng’s hand trembled as he hugged Shen Yan, kissing him back. The kiss deepened, like they were trying to devour one another and become one forever more.

It had been seven years, and he could finally hold him again, kiss him, stand under the same sky as him. To Jiang Cheng, this had long since become an ambition. From when he was twenty-one onwards, he only had one goal, even if the road ahead was filled with thorns, he was no longer living for himself.

For the first time ever, Shen Yan skipped work without warning.

His secretary, Vivian, called him many times, but never got a response. In the end, she had no choice but to leave the documents on his desk and leave.

Two days later, Shen Yan called Shen Fu, who was all the way in S City, saying that he needed the other to come help because he was too busy with his lover.

Shen Fu was shocked and kept trying to get him to spill who this lover was.

Shen Yan glanced at Jiang Cheng who sat next to the table and smiled silently.

He’d know one day.

Half a month later, a multinational corporation in D City, which was close to H City, suddenly went bankrupt. When Shen Yan saw the news, he stared at Jiang Cheng in surprise for a long while. Jiang Cheng sipped some wine from his glass before smiling gently and saying, “What are you looking at me for? She’s not young anymore, it’s time she stepped down.”

That company’s chairman was a lady, sixty years old and managing to keep herself in a good condition. Her family name was Wu, full name Wu Qiao. Technically speaking, Jiang Cheng should call her “mother”.

If it wasn’t for her, Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have been separated from Shen Yan for seven years. Even today, she didn’t approve of their relationship, but now, she had nothing to threaten Jiang Cheng with.

Jiang Cheng didn’t hate her, but he couldn’t forgive her.

It was a shame they couldn’t get her approval, but that wouldn’t change Jiang Cheng’s resolve. He respected her, but could no longer love her, after all, she had threatened him with her own life, causing him to lose what he loved. This wasn’t something anyone could forgive.

Luckily, in the end, he didn’t lose him forever.