A Heros Burden 5 (1/2)
Following the rather inexplicable series of anal explosions and subsequent… implosions… Cecilia, Keira and Fizzy made an iron-clad pact to never again speak of what had transpired. At the very least Kiki’s ‘fix’ for the situation seemed to have also gotten rid of all signs it had ever happened, including the smell or any stains. Which was probably a good thing, but the experience was just way too harrowing for anyone to openly admit it.
Once they had settled down they invited the guard waiting outside the room back in. The man seemed a bit puzzled at how quickly the disturbance had been resolved, but decided it was best to pretend he saw nothing. He really didn’t want to have any of the Chaotic Trio on his ass, so instead of acknowledging the event he respectfully handed the Primus the message he was told to deliver.
Cecilia read the official document once. Then twice. Then rubbed her eyes and read it a third time. Her hands and fingers started trembling nervously as if they were holding a piece of history itself.
“Th… this…” she muttered. “Is this for real?!”
“Yes, ma’am!” confirmed the messenger. “As you can see it is by no means an isolated incident, either!”
“Unbelievable… Does the Legate know about this?!”
“He’s the one who sent me to get you, ma’am! You are to report to him at your earliest convenience!”
“Understood! Wait, what about Kei- Decanus Morgana?”
The guard glanced at the dumbstruck Keira, then shook his head.
“I haven’t been told anything regarding the Hero of Chaos, ma’am.”
“Right. Okay. Thank you. Err- go inform the Legate I will be over to see him within 5 minutes.”
“Right away, ma’am!”
With a final salute, the soldier left to deliver the message while the data analyst started rummaging around her office while murmuring under her breath.
“… no precedent… geopolitical ramifications… civil war… can’t be right… no evidence… or perhaps… new projections…”
“Miss Underwood? What’s going on?”
However, Keira’s understandable question completely fell on deaf ears as the elf’s mind was already churning away at full speed along with her hands. She gathered up her ledgers, notebooks, maps, pens, manifestos and even her Day Of Petals wishlist, then stormed out of the room, leaving the other two in a very confused state. Though perhaps not for the reasons that one might assume.
“I have to ask,” spoke up Fizzy, breaking the awkward silence, “did you really, y’know… soil yourself?”
“No, of course not. I was just playing along with you two.”
“… But why, though?”
“I… read somewhere that sharing embarrassing moments with someone was a good way to get close to them.”
“That’s going a bit too far, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, I’m slightly regretting that decision now. At least I used a substitute substance rather than the real thing.”
“Can you even- No, I don’t think I want to know,” declared the golem with a frown on her face.
“What about you? Where did all that rusty iron even come from? … And where did it… go?”
“Beats me.”
Silence descended upon the room yet again as the two of them stared blankly at the door.
“I say we chalk this up to Dave being Robert and forget all about it,” suggested Fizzy.
“Agreed,” declared Boxxy with a nod.
“So, any idea what that message was all about?”
“No. But I’m about to find out.”
The Mimic whipped out a slightly crumpled piece of paper from its pocket. In all the confusion, it had managed to successfully steal it from Cecilia without the elf noticing. Secretly working on its Pickpocket Skill was really starting to pay off, as it doubted it would’ve been able to pull that off so smoothly otherwise. The monster’s MLG was more or less incapable of reading ink on paper, so it was necessary to look at it directly with its eyes. That gullible elf would probably realize the sensitive document was missing at some point, but Boxxy just had to leave it behind in her office somewhere and she would assume she accidentally left it behind.
So without further ado, it straightened out the piece of paper and started reading it. The more it read, however, the more agitated it became. Because as it would appear, Juliet wasn’t the only deity who was having a busy day.
A Monk who is a Disciple of Justice claimed to have received a divine revelation from Teresa. As of time of writing, 8 other Legionnaires from disparate units and companies have independently reported the same exact message to their superior officers. The revelation in question is as follows:
Faithful of Teresa! A great injustice has been revealed to me!
Following my Hero’s untimely demise, I have spent considerable time in self-reflection and communion with my fellow Gods, and have since come to realize the truth of the Calamity of Monotal! The one responsible for that heinous act was no terrorist, spy or saboteur, but a devious monster that acted independently while motivated by malice, spite and greed. And while this truth should have been known to humanity’s leaders, some among them have chosen to obfuscate and pervert it to suit their own corrupt designs!
On the authority of Teresa, Goddess of Truth and Justice, I hereby demand an immediate cessation of hostilities between the people of the Lodrak Empire and the Ishigar Republic, and call for an Inquisition upon the Lodrak Empire’s Royal Court!
“Shit!” cursed Keira, a bit louder than intended. “This sucks!”
“What? Let me see!”
Boxxy handed the document to Fizzy while it contemplated the amount of headaches this was going to lead to. Not being able to profiteer from the war as the Sandman was one thing, but now that the humans knew a monster caused the Calamity, they were bound to start looking for it. Worse still, if the Republic and Empire formed some sort of joint investigation and pooled their resources and knowledge, then they stood a very real chance at tracking down the Mimic. Especially since Punchy was kind enough to shout out its name during the events of Armageddon Day.
“What are you talking about?” asked Fizzy in a surprised manner. “This is great news, isn’t it?!”
“… What do you mean?”
“Oh, right, you probably don’t know what an Inquisition is.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Basically it means those heathens belonging to Teresa’s Church of the Hammer will be taking a very hard look at the Empire’s leadership. They’re going to question, investigate and prosecute the shit out of all of those noble bastards!”
“What, just like that?”
“Hello?! It’s the Goddess of Truth and Justice we’re talking about! If she’s going out of her way to reveal something like this, then of course the populace is going to eat it up! This is going to make huge waves in the Imperial capital! Tsunamis, even!”
“What’s a tsunami? Is it tasty?”
“That’s not the important part here!”
“No, no, I get what you’re saying, but I still fail to see how that’s a good thing. What do I care if some religious fanatics go after their political leaders? I mean I could maybe turn a profit, but-”
“Don’t you see?!” interrupted Fizzy with a manic grin. “They’ll be going after the asshole that imprisoned us, too!”
A light bulb suddenly went off in Boxxy’s mind. Spymaster Edward Allen - arguably the biggest threat to the Mimic’s ongoing existence - was very much so a member of the Lodrak Empire’s Royal Court. More than that - he was probably the person Teresa was unknowingly referring to in her message. That man had clearly identified Boxxy as the culprit, and yet the Empire declared war on the Republic instead of organizing some sort of wide-scale monster hunt.
Actually, the revelation itself said very little of the culprit itself, didn’t it? Boxxy’s name, description, abilities and secret identity were all very well known to Teresa, yet she didn’t reveal anything. Was it because Volair had influenced her somehow? Or maybe she cared a lot more about cleaning up her own house rather than chasing after Boxxy for revenge? Either way, one thing was plainly obvious - Edward would likely find his own people turning on him, perhaps even at that very moment.
And the one who brought this about was none other than Boxxy.
“Fizzyyy!”
The catgirl suddenly tackle-hugged the smaller golem. Her widely smiling face, her upturned eyes and unceasing giggling all told a tale of boundless joy. A story of happiness and jubilation that was so incredibly delicious that she began drooling uncontrollably. Fizzy was also laughing without restraint, cheering loudly as she imagined the bastard that wanted to wrongfully imprison her for something she didn’t do getting his just deserts.