Interlude - Good news travels slowly. Bad news has wings. (1/2)

A group of three seasoned adventurers were having a little get together at a nearby pub. They had just seen three rather exciting fights earlier that afternoon, and their blood was still boiling with excitement, despite being of a rather advanced age.

“Look! Ah’m tellin’ ye, ye cannae take down a cyclops just by aimin’ fer the eye!” said Hilda in a loud voice.

“And I’m telling you, that teaching your students to ‘go for the dick’ will just get themselves flattened under his feet!” insisted Faehorn.

The female dwarf Warrior and the elven Ranger were at each other’s throats as per usual. This time they were heatedly discussing ‘proper takedown procedures’ for a cyclops, a 6 meter-tall, one-eyed mountain of muscle that usually hovered around the Level 60 to 70 threat range. Lichter, the Paladin trainer, was just watching them have at it with a nostalgic smile on his face.

The three of them had been a team many years ago, and those two bickered and argued even back then, and Lichter would be the one that had to put a stop to their quarreling. Still, they were able to put aside petty differences when it counted, and trusted each other without question. Something that Lichter was sure still continued to this day, despite them living out the past decade or so in peace.

“As if! Ye just need to slice his cock off and he’ll be down fer the count!”

Well, relative peace.

“Hilda,” said Lichter calmly, “please refrain from screaming about slicing cocks at the top of your lungs.”

“Huh?! Oh.”

The dwarf just now realized they were in a public space, and the other patrons were throwing curious glances their way. She gave the onlookers a curt ‘Sorry ‘bout that’ before turning her attention back to the drink in her mug.

“Honestly,” said the Paladin with a sigh, “I wish you’d consider your position already. How is that the behavior of a Stonekin?”

“I’m a Stonekin,” said the dwarf after taking a swig of her drink, “so anythin’ I do is the behavior of a Stonekin.”

Hilda, Faehorn and Lichter had all reached Level 100 of their respective Jobs at roughly the same time and achieved their respective Rank Ups. Hilda was a Stonekin Dwarf, who were not only naturally stronger and sturdier than regular dwarves, but also highly resistant to toxins and disease. Faehorn had become a High Elf, granting him superior kinetic vision and reflexes. Lichter, however, was different.

Normally when an enlightened being Ranks Up upon reaching Level 100 of their Main Job, their bodies become that of a stronger variant of their species. Normally this happened regardless of the type of Job they had, unless it happened to be of a religious nature. Lichter, who was a Level 100 Paladin and a Champion of Nyrie, was technically no longer an elf. Although he looked like one outwardly, his species had become that of an Angel.

These quasi-divine beings were granted a tiny fragment of their chosen deity’s power. This manifested itself as the ability to manifest a pair of gigantic, dove-like wings from their backs at will. Although normally concealed, these limbs allowed them to soar majestically through the air with little effort. However, even though they had extended lifespans like other enlightened Rank Ups, Angels were still very much mortal. Ranking up a second time would let them become Archangels that were truly immortal, although very few people managed to reach that far. And what lay beyond was the realm of rumors, myths and legends.

Regardless, these three had seen enough violence and bloodshed in their lifetimes. Much like all adventurers at their Level, they had gone through more than a few horrifying and mentally scarring events. They had therefore decided to take a step back and focus on passing on the knowledge and experiences they had accumulated during their storied careers to future generations. Like true adventurers, they still aimed to grow even stronger, although right now they were focusing on enjoying these peaceful, laid back times while they lasted.

“... Think the Empire’s gonna be comin’ fer us?” asked Hilda with a grim look.

Although a dwarf, she honestly considered Azurvale and the Republic to be her home, while her students and those two pansies she was sharing a drink with were her family. If push came to shove, she’d defend them all without a second’s notice, regardless of who the enemy was.

“Probably,” half-sighed Faehorn. “Actually, a friend in the government gave me some rather solid advice on the matter.”

“Oh? Let’s hear it,” urged Lichter.

“She said to stock up on lubricant and burn medicine,” he said while giving the others a wry grin, “because we’re about to get F’d up the A. Without the sweet talk.”

Hilda gave a hearty laugh while the Paladin covered his face with his palms.

“Seriously though,” continued the Ranger, “It was a long time coming. Those humans will always be like that. I mean, we all know Jennifer, right?”

He was referring to the human Monk that had been a part of their troupe in their glory days. They had to eventually part ways with her years back due to how ruthless, merciless and greedy she was.

“Knew Jennifer,” said Lichter. “I heard that problem child’s bad attitude earned her the ire of some bad people and she got herself killed.”

“Ah… That’s a shame,” lamented Hilda. “I liked her, she was funny.”

“Yeah, you muscle-heads were always on the same wavelength. I mean, violence was the only thing you agreed on, but then again that was, and still is your answer to everything.”

“Now see, I know yer tryin’ to insult me Faehorn, but I ain’t gonna fall fer it. Not when I’ve had a few drinks in me.”

“Still, her skill in combat was quite promising,” offered the Paladin. He was trying to change topic before those two got into another petty squabble. “Compared to her, my students are a little… lacking. You saw them yourself, right?”

“I don’t know, Lichter, I think that guy with the buzz cut and the scar on his cheek was quite good. He actually recognized that Juggernaut as the superior fighter and was far more cautious than the others.”

“Still got his ass handed to him,” pointed out the dwarf. “Me lot fared no better though.”

It wasn’t just the Ranger students that sparred against the so-called Rustblood Juggernaut today. The Warriors and Paladins also had a go at her, though unsurprisingly none could even come close to even scratching her. Still, it meant the trio were able to see all of their respective pupils in action, which was more or less the point of the whole affair.

“There’s sumfin’ about the way she moves,” she continued. “I swear she could see the blows comin’ before they even took a swing at her!”

“You still gave her a good few dents, though,” pointed out Lichter.

“Well yeh. Don’t matter who or what it belongs to, all armor is naturally weak in certain places. Golems ain’t no different ya know! What sorta teacher would I be if I didn’t show my lot how to fight a well-armored target like that?”

She gave an accusing glare at Faehorn, who returned it with a dagger stare of his own.

“Any Ranger that tries to fight that thing head on is already a failure in my book.”

“Bullshit! Ye could take her easy!”

“I’m not so sure about that. I mean I could definitely do it if she were an ordinary steel or iron golem, but a mithril one that’s also a Paladin?! I’m not saying I can’t beat her if push came to shove, but it certainly wouldn’t be ‘easy.’”

“Ye about that, how in the blazes did a golem become a Paladin?”

“Well, Hilda, as it turns out she used to be a gnome,” said Lichter.

“Get out!”

“No, I’m serious. I was one of the people the authorities consulted regarding her strange condition. I won’t divulge her circumstances beyond that though. It would be rude to her as a person.”

“Betcha you woulda loved to make her yer student, huh?”

“Oh, immensely so. Unfortunately, she already follows another path, different from that of Nyrie.”

“Lemme guess. She follows the good ol’ God of Probability, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Figures. She fits right in with the rest of those nutjobs.”

The three of them had come across several of the God of Chance’s followers. There weren’t many of them, but one or two always turned up whenever big things were going down. Whether they were involved in said events directly or ‘just happened to be there’ was unclear, but it didn’t matter. Any adventurer that traveled the continent for long enough eventually learned that the appearance of the faithful of the Goddess of Uncertainty heralded great and sudden change, both good and bad.

“No wonder she’s so fecking random. I mean that muffin song? Seriously?!” complained Hilda.

“You sang along with the rest though,” retorted Faehorn.

“... It’s a funny song, okay?”