Science!!! 8 (2/2)
“I apologize for that. Uhm, can you send me your Status, please?”
“Okay, sending.”
“Ah, I see you got a na- Boxxy T. Morningwood?! Pft! Hold please! Kuhaha-”
*Boop*
Well, this was unlike Carl. Usually the demon was pretty quick and to the point about business. It’s not like Boxxy had anywhere to go, though. It was currently gathering up mana for the next ritual. And the music was pretty tasty anyway.
*Boop*
“Fuuuu, again, sorry about that mister Morningw- *Cough* Morningwood.”
“Just Boxxy’s fine.”
The Mimic didn’t particularly mind being called ‘mister Morningwood,’ but Carl seemed unable to say it with a straight face for some reason. If he wasn’t going to say the name properly, then he shouldn’t be saying it all.
“Right then. See here Boxxy, I’m gonna be straight with you. You can’t summon Overlord Nagnamor using your demon as collateral anymore.”
“Why not?”
“It violates part of the summoning contract. The one where you promise to safeguard your familiar’s immortal soul against harm.”
Come to think of it, Xera was talking about her ego being consumed by Nagnamor or something like that. The Mimic didn’t quite see how that was an issue, so it just kept doing what it wanted like usual.
“I know you probably don’t understand,” added Carl, “so I’ll clarify. Cramming two demons into the same physical vessel like that? Worst case scenario both of them could get fragmented or malformed. That wasn’t what you were trying to do, right?”
“No.”
“Good, cuz that’d be bad.”
“How bad?”
“We’d have to kill you.”
“That’s bad.”
“Indeed.”
“I understand. I’ll stop using Snack to summon Punchy.”
“Punchy?”
“Yeah. The big one with the head and the arms. He punches himself real good,” said Boxxy with a hint of admiration.
“Uh-huh. So listen, there’s one more thing I need to talk to you about. I don’t know what you made the Overlord do over there and I have no intention of prying, but he’s threatening to quit being an officer in the Demon King’s army if he so much as smells you again. We want to avoid that, so we’re prepared to offer you a deal.”
“A deal?”
“That’s right. You have to agree that you never perform the Offering to Nagnamor ever again, regardless of who or what your sacrifice is. In return, we’ll provide you with a one time boost of Demonology proficiency up to Level 5.”
“Okay. I accept.”
“Alright. Hold please.”
Of course it agreed. Getting Demonology Levels was the whole reason Boxxy was doing this whole thing in the first place, so getting what it wanted with less work was not a bad thing. Besides, it took a whole lot of time and preparation to summon Punchy and it only lasted a few minutes. Even if the performance was excellent, his mileage was pretty bad.
“There all set. I’ve added our agreement to your summoning contract. You should be getting your compensation shortly.”
Proficiency level increased. Demonology is now Level 5. WIS +4. MNT +4.
“I got it.”
“Good, that’s great. Fuuu. Hey listen, thanks for agreeing to that. I gotta say, it’s so much easier working with you than my regular clients.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You’re uncomplicated and straightforward. It’s a breath of fresh air compared to those edgy idiots I have to work with usually. Always with the stupid comments like ‘You shall not pass!’ and ‘You have no power here!’ It’s like those retards didn’t even properly read the summoning contract!”
Carl spent a few more minutes complaining about other Warlocks. Boxxy didn’t particularly mind since it was fairly interesting listening to him.
“What I’m trying to say is, it’s honestly a breath of fresh air working with someone like you. This whole thing would’ve been a laugh if it wasn’t for the actual Demon King breathing down my neck. Anyway, sorry for that little rant, I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.”
“It’s alright.”
“Fuuuu. So, just so we’re clear - do not ever use that ritual again. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“And don’t use your familiars as sacrifices ever again, either! That’s the important thing here! We wouldn’t give a flying fuck if your rectangular ass died out there, but if a demon bites the big one because of your antics then even killing you 100,000 times wouldn’t be enough payback! Understood?!”
It was important to keep in mind that the summoning contract was indeed a partnership and not slavery. Generally what happens to a demon’s physical form didn’t matter to an immortal being in the grand scheme of things, but endangering the integrity of their soul was another story. It was the one thing that must never, under any circumstances, be tampered with. If that clause was violated then the Warlock getting killed would just be the beginning of his punishment. What followed next would be… Well, let’s just say oblivion would be a much more preferable option.
“You’re lucky we caught this thing early!” added Carl. “Another ten or so more rituals and the soul of Xerababadubuth L’okrelaila would have suffered irreversible damage!”
“... Carl, is my contract in danger?”
“Nah, you’re fine. It’s not like you were doing it on purpose. Besides, you cooperated readily and both of your familiars testified as to your, uh, character. Therefore, the higher ups have agreed to let you off with just a stern warning.”
It would seem that all things said and done, Demons ‘R’ Us were going to take Boxxy’s actions as a simple misunderstanding rather than malicious intent.
“I see. Thanks, Carl.”
“Sure, just try and avoid pissing off my boss any more, yeah? Otherwise he might seriously terminate it.”
“How do I do that?”
“Ah, that’s actually pretty easy. You just keep doing what you do, only without the two things we talked about just now. Like, for real, don’t. And don’t take so long to answer if we’re the ones calling you, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Good, good. Haaah. ‘Kay, bye!”
*Click*
Well, that conversation was educational. Boxxy nearly stepped on quite the landmine there due to its own ignorance, but it would seem things have more or less worked out.
“Alright Snack, you can get down from there. Arms, untie her.”
“Oh thank fuck!” said Xera. “I really don’t know how much longer I could take sharing a body with that insufferable asshole!”
“Hey come on,” complained Kora while she untied the succubus from the stake. “Uncle Naggy isn’t that bad.”
“Yes he is! The whole reason he wanted a ‘pure maiden’ in the first place is because- Wait, uncle? He’s your kin?!”
“Yeah. He’s eldest of my dad’s 49 siblings. I only met him once or twice though.”
“Wow, that kind of makes things a lot worse.”
“What do you mean?”
“The first thought he had when he saw you was how he’d like to, and I’m quoting his head here, ‘split that fine ass on his dick.’”
“Oh! That’s pretty high praise coming from an Archfiend!”
“It is?”
“Of course!”
“...”
“Oy! Don’t give me that disgusted look! It’s a fiend thing, okay?!”
“We’re leaving now,” said Boxxy, putting an end to their little argument. “There are things I need to get.”
Even if they had leftover troll blood, that one ritual was all the Mimic was really equipped to do. They’d have to find components, not to mention sacrifices, to enact some of the other rituals. Of particular interest was a ceremony that was meant to call forth ‘Unholy Wealth,’ whatever that was. However, they’d need quite a few things to pull that one off. Not to mention it still lacked knowledge about the Warlock Job in general.
It was time to see about taking up residence inside a city.