Chapter 10 (1/2)
***
Through my deafened ears, I heard his confessing voice.
“I don’t have the qualifications to hold your hand. I can’t do it because I’ll put you in danger. So…”
He paused for a moment. His voice, which started again, was filled with deep pain.
“So… don’t approach me. Don’t hold my hand or think that a monster like me as your father.”
His voice fell even lower. He kept whispering to me but I couldn’t understand. As if he was placing a spell.
“Just use me. I’ll do whatever you want, so use me as much as your heart desires. Throw me away once I become useless.”
“…”
“Even if you do that, it’s fine child.”
I forced myself to focus. But I could only see his hazy silhouette through my barely open eyes. He was smiling as if it was the first time he had ever smiled in his life.
But why am I crying?
I didn’t realize that Cheonma was thinking that way. I thought that he was staying away from me because he was an emotionless creature.
Come to think of it, it made sense. He had enemies everywhere and his enemies wanted him to have weaknesses that they could exploit. As soon as he showed any affection toward me, I’ll be his only weakness and would be exposed to danger. His affection was no better than poison to me in this situation.
‘But…’
Even if he was afraid, he stared at my hand with a firm look. Maybe he was holding his breath because I couldn’t hear it.
I slowly raised my other hand. That act alone made it harder to breathe.
His red eyes zeroed on me. There was a sign that he wanted to step back at any moment.
‘Don’t avoid me. Please.’
Was my wish transmitted to him? He didn’t move.
Rather, as my arm failed to touch him, he hesitated a little, then bowed his head.
His smooth cheeks touched my hand. I stroked his cheeks slowly.
“I okay. I okay (I’m fine, I’m fine).”
Cheonma slowly closed his eyes. I felt his tears fall on my face.
I held on to his cheeks until I lost consciousness. Cheonma did not avoid my hands until the end.
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I felt like I was going to die when I closed my eyes.
“…Huh?”
When I opened my eyes, my whole body felt light, like a feather. I felt so … powerful. I didn’t feel this healthy since I was born.
Hoho, I must have been treated properly?
“…”
But why does it seem like my eyesight got better?
My eyesight was clear as if a layer of grime had been peeled off from my eyes. Not only could I see the dust floating in the air, but also I could even see as far as the speck of dirt on the corner of the ceiling.
‘Am I seeing things?’
As I rubbed my eyes, I heard Seoyoung’s voice.
“Young Miss! Are you awake?”
Turning around, I saw Seoyoung’s rough and exhausted face enter the room. She must have been really worried.
Feeling sorry, I mustered up a radiant smile. As I did so, Seoyoung collapsed as if the strings controlling her legs were cut off.
“Ah ah! Young Miss… I thought you were in deep trouble. How much I… How much I…”
Seoryung couldn’t speak and just shed heavy tears. Then suddenly, she opened her eyes and grabbed my shoulder.
“Do you know how scared I was? Don’t ever do that again! You can use my body as a shield, but don’t come forward to save me! Just leave me to die! You understand? Young Miss, promise me!”
She must have been very shocked when I stepped out of her arms and stood up to Bing Eun-seol.
“Sorry, it is completely my fault… What? My pronunciation…?”
Maybe my tongue fully finally developed, but my pronunciation came out too accurately.
I was surprised that my eyes popped out. Of course, I thought Seoyoung would be surprised, but her response was strange.
She avoided my gaze. Even her tears had dried up as well.
“… you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s because the adults you were with were bad people. It’s not your place to apologize. Don’t apologize. I just need you to make a promise with this servant.”
“I got it. I’ll promise… Wait, that’s not the important issue, nanny! My pronunciation is weird?”
“Oh, this servant thinks it’s fine? Of course, our Young Miss is a genius. It’s only pronunciation. You can work it out overnight.”
What does that have to do with the development of tongue muscles?
I stared blankly at Seoyoung because I was dumbfounded.
“You know, I mean… oh, yes! I’ll grab the thin rice gruel that I prepared.”
Something felt fishy as I watched Seoyoung’s back quickly disappear. Something is really fishy.