1228 Wishes (1/2)
Without waiting for The World Gehrman Sparrow to respond, Audrey, who was maintaining her posture, slowly said a few words:
”Heaviness…
”Pain…
”Shame…”
Klein listened silently without commenting on what Miss Justice said. Instead, he asked in a gentle tone that was closer to the image of Dwayne Dantès, ”Why do you suddenly want to do such a test?”
”It's not a test.” Audrey shook her head. ”It's just to reveal the details that I usually hide and avoid. I want to see what I really look like in the eyes of others.”
After pausing for a moment, she moved her lips without a smile.
”After our previous conversation, I really am trying to come up with a plan. I plan to secretly do some manipulating, so that the nobles, businessmen, royal family, and the Church can release enough food from their stockpiles.
”Theoretically, this is a simple matter, but when actually trying to put it into action, I realize that I can't be as determined and decisive as I thought.
”Some of them are my uncles and aunts, some of them are my cousins. Some of them are friends I've known since I was young, while others are elders who have been very protective of me. Some of them I often meet with during various charity events and are rather friendly. They formed my childhood and gave me too much. It was a part of my growth, a part of the beautiful memories of my past…
”Besides, the food they accumulated wasn't stolen. Their explanation is actually reasonable.
”I really can't do it—to make them my target in an attempt to rob them of a portion of their wealth. At least, it's like this now.”
As she spoke, Audrey's voice unknowingly escalated into a crescendo, as if she was arguing with someone.
She then realized that she had lost her composure, and remained silent for two seconds before continuing, ”That's why I want to know more about myself. I want to strip away the false image from our past relationships. Under different circumstances, I want to ask myself what I really want, whether my thoughts in the past were impulsive, hypocritical, and naive, or strong beliefs from my heart.”
At this point, Audrey suddenly smiled.
”Although I haven't come to any conclusions, the attempt has already brought some added benefits.
”I used to think that I had strictly abided by the principle of 'you're only acting,' but now I realize that I'm almost addicted to acting.
”Other pathways require different identities and occupations. The Spectator pathway's acting is completely consistent with one's daily life. Sometimes, it's hard to clearly differentiate between them.
”The simplest example: Who wouldn't want to be loved by everyone? Hence, when facing different people, I would wear a different mask and use the powers of the Spectator pathway to create an image that suits the other party's expectations the best. When there are more and more of such things, when you face everyone, you would actually be obsessed with 'acting.' You would almost lose yourself.”
Klein nodded slightly and said, ”That's a good lesson.”
He didn't comment on Miss Justice's prior words.
After a moment of silence, Audrey slowly said, ”During this period of time, I've read the East Borough investigation report that my father hired someone to do. I've experienced many different things.
”Before the war, many of the poor people, workers, and farmers have lived lives that are as difficult as the lives today. They've been in constant hunger and pain. The changes to the Poor Law, and the strict laws about the working hours and environment, has indeed brought about some improvement to the management of the pollution in the air, but just a little…
”After the war ends, and if—if we overcome the apocalypse, will such things happen again?”
As she spoke, Audrey pursed her lips tightly and fell into silence.
Klein could sense Miss Justice's confusion and perplexity. After some deliberation, he didn't say the answer in his heart. He said in a deep voice, ”These questions of yours, including what you said about your true thoughts, require you to find the answers yourself. No one can replace you.
”I can only give you some advice. Go to the fields and take a look at the hardworking farmers. Go to the factories and take a look at the diligent workers. Go to the East district and experience them. Go to the library and read through the past newspapers and other related works.”
Audrey listened attentively and nodded seriously.
”I will try.”
She immediately stood up and bowed towards the end of the long, mottled table. Although Mr. Fool had left, she believed that ”He” was watching.
Just as she was waiting for Mr. Fool to send her back to the real world, The World suddenly said, ”Hold on.”
”Oh?” Audrey expressed her curiosity with a nasal grunt.
Klein looked at her and conjured a piece of paper.
”This is the description of a Mythical Creature's character and behaviors. I hope you can provide me with some help. Based on this analysis, determine what kind of reactions 'He' will carry out in different situations.”
”Alright.” Audrey did not refuse and agreed.
After she took the piece of paper and finished reading the content, Klein deliberated and said, ”Regarding what you just said, I have another suggestion:
”There are two types of questions that you have. Some of them are indeed very pressing, while the others are not. You can wait for things to calm down and do a deeper investigation. Well, once a person is anxious, they will easily make mistakes. It's best you be clear about the differences.”
Audrey thought for a moment and nodded solemnly.
”I understand.”
After responding, she suddenly laughed.
”I thought you called me at the last moment to give me your blessings, hoping that I will still love this world after seeing the world as it is.”
Klein was first taken aback before he asked with a smile, ”You seem to have read a lot of Emperor Roselle's novels?”
”He's an outstanding novelist and also a very complicated and contradictory person,” Audrey said with a faint smile.
Klein nodded indiscernibly and spoke slowly, ”If I wanted to give you my blessings, I wouldn't have said that.