48 Smile. (2/2)

”I seem to miss the missing part, he's still my favorite work of art”

”The picture is clear and I'm still fact he's fiction”

For some reason she was reminded of the fact that she'd literally read his story in a book. Before she'd sang these words, she hadn't realized how true they rang to her.

A mirthless smile twisted her lips.

”No nothing has changed, cause I'm still fact he's fiction”

”Or I may be imperfectly formed in this contradiction yeah”

She truly didn't know who she was. She just felt tired. She really did try to be happy but it was hard. Everyday, everyday she would wake up and think of him and everyday it would hit her, that she'd lost him.

Her voice started to crack and tremble as her eyes blurred with tears.

She really didn't want to cry. She'd gotten so good at pretending so why? Why was it that... the moment she thought of him she couldn't stop herself.

”I dream of dreaming dreams of her

In twilight he's a constant blur

The picture is clear and I'm still fact he's fiction yeah”

”Oh yeah”

”Oh”

Even as her voice trembled she didn't stop singing. This was the one song she couldn't let go of.

”I fell in love with his longing - let's just say that I never found out”

”Who it was he never found in me”

She wanted to go home.

She really wanted to go back. She just wanted to curl up in his warmth and fall asleep forever.

The moment the song ended, she stopped playing as the tears bubbled up all of a sudden. she'd even gone wrong on a few notes as her hands were trembling too much.

The audience had long gone silent. Anyone could see that she'd been overcome with emotions that were still fresh and would always be real.

She really didn't want to cry.

She bit her lip hard as she covered her eyes with her hands, just the sound of her light crying filled the stadium.

Everyone stayed silent for a few seconds before the fans snapped back and one of them asked her to not cry.

”We're always here!”

Only another fan would understand the pain of seeing one's idol cry. It was so hard because you truly wanted to comfort them but how were they supposed to?

'But I can't...'

'I don't want to do that anymore.'

And yet what she did was the exact opposite.

She just... smiled. Even though her red eyes bore witness of her tears, all she did was smile.

She boxed up her tears, her feelings.

Smile.

Smile.

Smile.