Chapter 225 Her Biggest Scar 2 (1/2)

”The little shit basically manipulated me into thinking that d-doing… doing something like that is… i-is a better choice! And of course, me being the little clueless kid that I was, I believed her. I agreed to what she offered. And I failed to see that evil glint in her eyes as I basically fell into her trap.”

”As soon as I went home, I did it. A simple slash on the finger. And I went to my parents to show them. But both of them were on their phones so it took them long before they started to notice me. And when they did, they called in for the nanny to clean and treat my wound instead.”

Inna blinked furiously as she tried to hold back the emotions welling up inside her from the memories she kept hidden.

”I… I t-thought that they didn't have that much reaction because the wound was small and it closed up pretty fast. And so, the next night, I tried again. I cut my palm with a knife I was able to get from the kitchen. But before I could show it to them, both my parents had to leave for an emergency meeting, leaving me with my nanny who took care of the wound wordlessly.”

”I thought to myself that they probably didn't notice me at that time because they left before they could see me. And so, I told myself that I'll d-do it properly next time. But the next time I did it to my other palm, they still called for my nanny to treat me and then they ended up leaving soon after to fix some issues in their company. They didn't even… speak a word of goodbye... They just immediately went out the door and left.”

Inna sighed as she buried her head deeper into Raghnall's side. She didn't want to talk about this but she couldn't understand why she felt like she really should.

”Back then, if I didn't go to school, I would've passed off their behavior as the norm. I thought, maybe that's how they show affection. They try to earn as much money as possible to give me a great and comfortable life. I was comfortable with the distance as well since they just let me do whatever I wanted.”

”But at that moment, I finally opened my eyes and felt that maybe I was wrong. And I began to think… M-maybe they never really cared for me to begin with... Maybe I really w-was an unwanted child, after all. Maybe, I was just… unneeded.”

”Those words haunted my mind for numerous days. I desperately tried to prove my own thoughts to be false by cutting again and again but I soon gave up on showing it to my parents since they always disappear after getting me from school. And so, instead of doing it to prove something, it just became a habit of release.”

”Every time something happens in school, a simple cut on the finger was enough to make me forget about it. The deeper the cut, the number I felt with everything that was happening around me. I didn't know why and it certainly was strange. But I was far too consumed by my self-destructive thoughts to think rationally about my situation.”

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Inna flinched slightly from the memory as her hand instinctively grasped her wrist.

”But, even though my hands and wrists were full of scars, I wasn't able to lie to that psycho. How could I when, at that time, the confirmation that my parents didn't care for me was the undeniable truth. That fact can be read on my face like an open book. And so, that psycho most likely had fun watching me getting ganged up on and bullied in nearly every single day.”

”The b-bullying persisted for weeks but I no longer had any courage to talk to her m-much less fight against h-her. Th-the only thing I w-was thankful for w-was the fact that it d-didn't seem to leak... the f-fact about me b-being adopted. B-but other than that, I w-was too exhausted to care about anything else. A-all I r-remember was… hiding in the c-comfort rooms for n-nearly the whole d-day… w-wanting to just… d-disappear… and go to a place where there w-was... no one except me in it.”

”I... in those weeks… I was just… s-seven… but I just wanted everything to e-end… right then a-and there… I w-was horrified of the future… what if I g-get thrown out… what if it g-gets worse… will I have to live with this t-treatment for y-years and years to c-come? I was s-scared… I was s-so so scared a-and tired… so much s-o… I just w-wanted to… I… I just… wanted… to… I...I'm s-sorry. C-can I just… b-breathe… for a m-moment…”

Inna gasped out as she clutched her chest. She tried to calm herself when she felt the dizzying impact of a panic attack starting.