161 Can’t dance away these blues (2/2)

Arei frowned. ”Because he feels a sense of loyalty to her husband, I guess... that he owes him something that can never be repaid...” Arei brushed a stray strand of hair from her cheek. ”So instead of being with the person he loves as a lover, he dedicates his life to being her protector and constant companion.” His voice grew huskier. ”Sometimes we lie to ourselves to make the pain of not having what we want most, easier to bare...” His words trailed off and he pulled her closer against his body as he began to move with the music.

Jos didn't say anything else as her focus moved to their steps and her failed attempts not to step on his feet. Every so often she would risk a glance around the room or up at him. His stormy eyes never seemed to leave her, though. When the music changed but they continued dancing, she couldn't help the questioning tilt of her head.

He guided her hand around his waist and released it there freeing his own hand to stroke the length of her bare arms and shoulders. Swaying their bodies to the music, he stroked the back of her neck, careful not to mess up her beautifully arranged hair. ”I'm a hypocrite.” He whispered. ”I am always explaining the concept of love and truth to you without giving you the curtesy of those two things in return.” He felt her grip tighten in the material of his tux. When that song too came to an end, neither of them released the other. Instead, he only held her tighter against him. He lowered his head and whispered against her ear. ”I overheard the conversation you, my aunt, and sister were having... I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I can't forget what I heard either.” He hooked his index finger under her chin and lifted her face up to meet his. Her troubled eyes held his, reflecting the gleaming waters around them. ”Is it true? What Chary said in there?”

Jos hesitated before nodding. Her eyes met his as he turned her in his arms. Her cheeks reddened at his closeness as her eyes quickly darted to the many people around them.

”And you truly believe it is what you are... what you've done that causes me to hold back with you?” He asked as softly as his emotions would allow as he fought the eager to kiss her deeply right there for everyone to see.

She nodded, trying her best to hold back her nervousness and tears. Her eyes darted back and forth between his stormy hazel eyes and were her hands fumbled with the fabric of the front of his suit jacket.

He lifted his gaze from hers, searching the room. There were many gawking eyes trained on them. He quickly scanned the room for somewhere more private to ease her stress. When he saw the spiral staircase leading to the overhead catwalk, he led her toward it. They climbed the clear stairs hand in hand, in silence. Once on top he pulled her in front of him and wrapped her tightly in his arms. Pressing his lips to the top of her head, he asked. ”And you honestly believe I hold back because I don't want you? That I don't want to make you mine in 'every way' that matters?” He repeated her words from earlier.

She nodded against his hold on her and the pressure of his mouth still pressed to her forehead. ”I'm sorry... I can't help but think it...” She whispered with a soft whimper. Her light sob was muffled against the heavy fabric of the jacket he wore.

He cupped her face bending down to level their gazes. ”Look at me, I don't give two shits about any of that. I've probably killed more people in one battle than you have in all your years of being a- being cursed.” He corrected himself. His brows drew together. ”I know you don't understand my reasons now, but I do what I do because I care... Because I realize I've made a grave mistake and that putting off the rectification of that mistake is most likely only going to make it worse.”

Tears flooded her eyes, ”Please, just tell me already! What mistake?”

His eyes searched hers as his inner demons fought with each other. He let out a heavy sigh. ”I've been lying to you, Jos... about quite a few things... mainly my name and who I am.” He released her and moved over to the railing, unable to force himself to watch as understanding settled over her.

He pointed to a winged man below who was completely enthroned with a woman more beautiful than Aphrodite. ”Dishonesty and mistrust almost tore those two apart once... He couldn't forgive her lack of trust in him but couldn't admit his own part in feeding her doubt.” He didn't take his eyes off Eros and Psyche as he continued to speak. ”Love is nothing without trust, he'd said to her and everyone who had tried talking to him at the time... but what is trust without honesty?” Arei sighed heavily. ”You see Eros was afraid to tell Psyche he was a god in fear that, that truth would somehow prevent them from being together; but the length he went to hide it from her, only made her more suspicious of him.” He let out another heavy sigh before turning his back to the crowds below and facing her. ”I have done nearly the same thing with you. I have hidden my truth in the fear that the truth would push you away, only to cause you so much unnecessary pain and stress.” He took her hands in his. ”You see, I don't hide it because I don't love you enough... I hide it because I'm afraid you will reject me... but it's time...”