26 Questions with no answers (1/2)
”I never realized how big this tub actually was.”Joslyn set with her back up against Russ's chest in the deep garden tub.She lifted a handful of bubbles up to her face then blew them across the tub.He had made tender love to her for well over an hour before finally coming into the bathroom and preparing a candle lit bubble bath for them to share.
Russ laughed, ”Reconsidering your decision to give me the master bedroom?”He leaned down and placed a light kiss on the top of her head. ”I'll share, ya know.”When she didn't respond he took the small bar of soap out of the dish and began rubbing it across Joslyn's shoulders.She jerked in surprise, but he wrapped his other arm tighter around her waist. ”Hold still I'm going to wash you.”He grinned at her in the reflection of the mirror, ”After all I owe you a good scrub.” He winked at her before he continued moving his hand and the bar of soap over her upper body.
Joslyn drew in a quick inhale as his hand containing the soap began lathering up her breast.She watched their reflection in the large mirrors in awe as candlelight refracted off the bubbles causing a beautiful spectrum of color to play across the areas of her body where his hands worked.She threw her head back against his collar bone, moan escaping as his hands slid down over her ribs.The hand that was wrapped around her waist came up to turn her head toward him as his mouth came down over hers for a soft kiss before pulling back and gazing down at her.There was the slightest hint of worry in his voice as he asked, ”Jos, are you happy right now…. With me, that is?”
His question took her breath away, but she still managed to shake her head yes.
He smiled down at her before pulling her snuggly against him engulfing her body in a tight hug, He showered the top of her head with kisses.Without lifting his mouth from her head, the words muffled by her hair, he asked, ”Jos…. Marry me?”
His words were barely more than a whisper against her scalp, but they caused tingles to run from the spot his breath was warming all the way down her spine and to her toes. {There's no way I heard him right... Did I?!}She pulled away from him to get a full view of his face.She prayed she would see some sign of joking, but there as nothing but seriousness and love in his troubled eyes.She stared in shock watching the soft flames of the candles reflect back at her from his beautiful eyes.{How the hell am I even supposed to answer him? I only agreed to date him a day ago!} Joslyn's voice broke with concern as she tried to answer in a way that wouldn't hurt him, ”Russ…”
He interrupted her, ”Jos, I know what you're going to say but….”He moved to pull her back toward him, when she didn't fight him he cupped her jaw and gently stroked her cheek with his thumb. ”Jos...”
Joslyn pushed her self up out of the water enough to place a light kiss on his lips, effectively silencing his interruption. ”Then let me say it please.” She set back down into the water, facing him head-on. ”Russ, it's only been a day…. Not even really a full 24 hours...” she cupped her hand over his as she watched his reaction contort his features.
Shock and anxiety marred his beautiful face as he quickly responded, ”NO! It has been a lifetime for me! I've always loved you, I will always love you!” He cupped her small face in his large palms, not allowing her to look away as he added, ”Jos, I don't expect an answer from you right this minute, but I want you to know that is my aim for this, for us.” Determination weighed heavy in his words giving merit to the passion emanating from his eyes.
A single tear slipped down Joslyn's cheek, ”Russ you know that's not possible.” She tried to pull away from him but, he held her tighter. ”Russ please…”
He pulled her back against him, ”Please, forget I said anything. Just stay with me, ok.”He stroked the back of her hair as he held her firmly against his chest.
Tears stung her eyes, ”It's getting late.” She gripped the arms wrapped tightly around her upper body. She held on to him for a moment, taking great joy in the warmth and comfort of his hold, before finally pulling loose of his grip and standing up.She looked down at him, ”I'm going to go change, Raven should be getting back any time now and hopefully Shelly too.” With that, she grabbed a towel off the rack and fled the bathroom.
Russ watched in disappointment as she practically ran from the bathroom.He could feel his emotions battling within, but it seemed as if anger was winning out over all the others.He thought over what had just happened. ”How could I have been so stupid! Idiot!” He slammed his fists down into the water causing water to splash up all around him.”Just as things were beginning to go so well I have to fuck it up!” He pushed up from the water quickly, fighting the urge to shatter the mirrors casting mocking reflections of the emotional train wreck that was he.
Joslyn stood in front of her dresser staring at her reflection in the mirror, barely able to recognize her own reflection looking back at her. {What the hell am I doing.} She closed her eyes tightly, with any luck when she opened them she would wake to find this had all be some bazar fairy tail dream. {Let's face it, that's the only way this relationship would ever work out.} Joslyn let out a loud sigh and glanced back at her own reflection, ”You've really done it now, haven't you.” Her gaze traveled to the mark on her shoulder, she ran her hands over the mark as a tear fought to escape the corner of her eye. ”His mate...” she stared at it guilt and joy battling each other. ”Marriage…” she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head furiously, ”Yeah right what fantasy world are you living in! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!” Anger filled her eyes as she looked back at her own reflection but seeing the hurt in her own eyes reflecting, back at her was too much.The tears that had been fighting for their freedom, triumphantly cascaded down her cheeks.”The absolute best thing you can do,” she said looking back upat her reflection directly a new sense of determination in the eyes, ”...is walk away before anyone gets hurt farther.”