Chapter 80 - Isll Make A Man Out Of You! (2/2)

"Alright, you do what you gotta do" Geoff said sympathetically.

Gray headed over to Major Valen's office again and found him behind his desk. Gray couldn't help but think he was the main character of some novel or something since Major Valen was conveniently where he needed him.

Gray knocked on the frame of the open door and waited for Major Valen to respond.

Looking up from his work, Major Valen said "Private… no… Corporal Wilhelm, congratulations on the promotion! What can I help you with this fine evening?"

Major Valen seemed to be in a very good mood, Gray was very tempted to ask about it, but he didn't feel it was appropriate to pry. "Sir, thank you, I wanted to see if you had time to talk about something that really bothered me, sir."

"I got some time before dinner if you can keep it fairly quick, I have plans tonight."

Gray thought maybe these plans were why he was in such a good mood and noticed that Major Valen didn't have a wedding ring or even tan line of having worn one so it could be a date. Gray wasn't a gossiper though so he just left it as it was. Gray poked his head out of Major Valen's office to make sure nobody was coming and said "Given the secret you told us this past weekend, I thought I could handle it… You know… killing… death… all of it."

"Boy, you must have a screw loose, if you weren't affected by that I would question your mental health, how everyone handles it is different."

"Heh, I get that, but I mean, it just hit me how I feel like they'll blame me for every death after I two teammates get gunned down in the simulation." Gray scratched his head as he wasn't exactly sure if he was getting his meaning across.

"I know you're looking for some sage advice, some words of wisdom from Big Daddy Valen here, but listen up, people are going to die, I'm not going to say some sentimental crap like 'Never forget any one soldier!' because that's a lot of names if you're in a large enough unit. Instead, never forget the ones important to you and honor the rest through your actions."

Major Valen opened a drawer on his desk and pulled out a box and placed it on his desk. He opened it up and Gray saw dozens of dog tags in it. Major Valen then said "This is the tag of every soldier that has ever died under my command. I can't remember all of their names, but I make damn sure to personally write their next of a kin a letter of grievance instead of letting the military do the standard manufactured letter, for the important ones I visit personally. How you honor them and who is important to you is up to you."

"That… that's surprisingly realistic… but I don't think I can order anyone to do something that might lead to their death."

"Don't forget that feeling then, once you do you can needlessly order troops to their deaths and start to look at it as a statistic instead of a tragedy."

"Ok, but how do I deal with that feeling?" Gray said anxiously as he was finally getting to the root of the problem.

"MAN UP WIMP! Your allies trust is earned and if you doubt yourself, they will doubt you as well!"

Gray remembered the dejected looks of his teammates after the 16 versus 16 match with GameGo Gamers and now realized that it wasn't due to his poor performance, but his unconfident leadership. "I think I get it, sir."

"You're smart, you'll figure it out, but because you're smart you also think too much. You're going to give wrong orders so stop worrying about failing, take responsibility for your mistakes like a real man. Now get outta here, I need to get back to my personal quarters!"

"Sir, thank you, I'll become as big a man as you, sir!"

"BAHAHAHAHA! You? As big a man as me? Son you've got a long way to go, I admire the enthusiasm boy! Get your ass outta here though, I need to get ready!"

Gray saluted Major Valen and left his office to go see what the rest of his team was doing before dinner.