23 King Kirk and the Llama (1/2)
Kirk Lander looked at the llama, and the llama looked back at him in a supercilious way.
I'm superior to you, the llama's big dark eye said. I'm superior to you, so don't you try to fuck around with me.
”We'll see,” muttered Kirk. He turned to his son Adam and said:
”Fuck, I really wish Debbie had chosen a lamb for a pet. Haven't seen that brute in a while. Forgot how big it was. How the hell are they going to kill it over there? With pebbles and twigs?”
”Randy's made himself a proper club,” Adam said. ”He even managed to knock a couple of sharp stones into its head. It looks fucking lethal. I'm sure he can deal with the llama.”
”Randy's got a club? I didn't see him holding any clubs. Wait, I'll just tell my guy to - ”
”You really should go over there, Dad. I mean again. It's better than trying to do things by remote control, and at a crazy speed.”
”We need secure communications, Adam. Secure communications are of paramount importance.”
”Well, I could stay and - ”
”No. I need you to get back on your bicycle and go talk to Vorner.”
”But that's ten kilometers away!”
”What's half an hour on a bike for someone like you? You told me you like this bike. I bought it for you last year for your birthday after you'd said you'd like to lose some weight. You were overjoyed.”
”I was, Dad. Truly. But - ”
”Vorner keeps horses. Randy keeps boasting about how he won a bunch of rodeos when he was a kid. Or something like that. Anyway, this will be his chance to show his prowess in the saddle.”
”He won't have a saddle over there, Dad.”
”It's a figure of speech, Adam. Have you heard about figures of speech?”
”I'm sorry, Dad.”
”Ask Vorner to sell you the most docile, well-behaved horse he has. And see if he hasn't got other livestock to sell. I think he keeps a couple of geese.”
”Peacocks, Dad. He has a pair of peacocks. And I don't think he'll sell them. He likes them a lot.”
”Hmm. You know, he'll have to bring that horse over anyway. If he starts bitching about that tell him to ride a horse while leading the one we bought by its reins. This way, the whole trip here and back won't take more than a couple of hours. I'll talk to him myself when he shows up.”
”What if he doesn't want to come?”
”Adam, if you've got half your brain in working condition, you'll persuade him to come. Remember, money is no object.”
”Okay. That might work.”
”Of course. Off you go.”
”Can I have a drink and a bite to eat first?”
”Of course, of course. I'm sorry. But please don't waste any time.”
”Yes, Dad.”
Kirk Lander watched his son cross the courtyard and disappear into the house. He looked at the llama, standing perfectly still in its stall.
”I'll fix you, you little fathead,” he said. Then he walked out of the little stable that had been custom-built for his wife's pet llama, and went to the house himself.
It was a pity about those peacocks. Maybe he could just lend them for a day? He'd have to talk to Vorner about that. A cloak of peacock feathers - that's what he wanted. He'd seen an illustration of some Aztec hotshot wearing a cloak like that.
The women could make a cloak just like that for him. He was sure it wouldn't be too difficult. What could be difficult about sticking a bunch of feathers together?