55 Chapter 20 (1/2)
”When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile” – Unknown
October 11th 2013; 4:52pm
The breeze whistled through the turning leaves of the swaying trees, taking with it the ones that had given up. The sky looked weighed down with the rain that was to come; the sound of thunder crashing from above caused an anxious feeling to settle in the pit of my stomach as I walked down the street.
I pulled my coat tighter around my body and shivered, hastening my steps as the thunder boomed again, so distant that it may or may not have been part of my imagination; with me, one could never tell. A knot formed in the back of my throat then, as I swiped at the beads of sweat that had formed on my forehead.
”I can do this,” I muttered, shaking out my hands nervously ”I can do this”
”Uh, no; you can't”
I shook out all other thoughts and focused on the tug of war going on in my head as I got closer to the house I had been searching for on Wallaby Street.
”Don't do it, Shay?” my rather stubborn side said icily, and I paused, glancing down the street at the rows of house before me; the rows of houses before I would get to his house ”he's in the wrong”
”No he's not,” my subconscious, the more reasonable part of my brain muttered ”you can do this; just breathe”
Taking a deep breath, I continued nervously down the street.
”It's going to be a disaster”
”Everything will be fine”
I approached the house I had been looking for and turned into the driveway.
”He told you that you shouldn't have fallen in love with him”
”It's obvious he has feelings for you”
I walked up the steps and slowed down as I approached the huge, wooden door.
”It's not too late to change your mind; this could be disastrous”
”You're doing the right thing”
I let out a low breath as I froze in front of the door with my hand raised, ready to knock.
Was I doing the right thing? If I did this, eventually, time would catch up with him and I might lose him too; was I ready to go through that again?
Was it worth it?
I knocked.
Rubbing my palms together, I blew on them and waited for someone to answer the door, the nerves kicking as I contemplated ditching and getting the hell out of there; the door opened then and Lexi's head popped out from behind it.
”Shay!” she screamed in surprise and excitement, yanking the door open and crashing into me; she wrapped her tiny arms around my waist, or rather, my legs, and giggled. I laughed, glancing up from the adorable five-year-old when I heard the door open even further, a familiar woman staring at me in confusion.
Avian's mother.
She wasn't dressed in the formal office attire she'd been wearing that day, which is probably why hadn't recognized her immediately; instead, she had on a fitted red polo tee-shirt, a pair of jeans that were hidden behind an apron stained with some sort of icing sugar, and a pair of flip flops; however, I did recognize the blank look she was giving me, as though she wanted me off her porch and away from her daughter as fast as possible; I swallowed.
”I missed you, Shay”
Pushing down the nerves that had been slowly inching their way forward as Avian's mother raised her brows, I dragged my gaze from her glare to meet the much softer inviting look that Lexi was staring up at me with.
”I missed you too,” I smiled and ruffled her hair, before slowly glancing back up at Mrs. Carter.
”Who are you?” her voice was stern; she sounded as though she had just been deployed from working in the army although her eyes seemed weary, probably from suffering the cons of having a teenage son that didn't want to get better.
I stared at her; before I could utter a single word, Lexi grabbed onto my hand and tugged it excitedly.
”Mom, this is Shay,” she smiled as she glanced up at her mother with a mischievous grin ”Avian's girlfriend”
”Yeah, Avian's…” I froze, realizing what Lexi had just said. I snapped my head toward her but she'd already run toward her mother, squealing naughtily ”I apologize,” I smiled anxiously, glancing up to see Mrs. Carter's reaction ”your son and I are just friends”
Avian's mother smiled then, and I tried hiding my shock at how easy that had been; a second ago, she had looked like she was ready to throw me as far away from her house as possible.
”I never get to meet any of his friends,” she smiled as she stepped back, inviting me into her home ”please, do come in”
I glanced in awe at the surroundings, hoping that she had no idea I had already been to the house and the fact that I had even slept over on various occasions; Lexi tugged on my arm fiercely.
”Come,” Lexi said as she dragged me toward the kitchen, where the smell of fresh-out-of-the-oven cupcakes filled the room ”we're baking” Lexi let go of my arm and grinned up at me ”it's bake night”
I smiled as I glanced down apologetically at Lexi, before slowly shaking my head.
”I can't”
If anyone could win first place for the quickest change in emotion, Lexi would win hands down. I groaned inwardly as she pulled 'the took' with me then, her eyes going wide and a pout tugging on her bottom lip; she stared at me pleadingly.
”I have to go talk to your brother”
Lexi's look deepened; the brown eyes seeming to grow even larger and her lip tugged even lower.
”It's important”
She whined then, completely giving up on the look as I hadn't been buying it before she crossed her arms against her chest and frowned up at me.
”Lex, behave” I heard Mrs. Carter say but Lexi disregarded her mother, and stuck her tongue out at me.
”You're no fun” she muttered; my heart went out to her as I watched the frown deepen.
”Tell you what,” I said, my smile growing ”how about we bake cookies tomorrow, and you can teach me”
Lexi squealed then, her upset façade completely vanishing; forget winning first place hands down, Lexi would take home the damn grand prize. I heard Mrs. Carter walk toward us and I straightened myself instantly; I had just invited myself over without asking for her permission.
”If that's okay with you” I muttered to her nervously; she waved me off with a smile and took her daughter's hand in hers.
”It's fine,” she smiled and motioned for Lexi to go back to the kitchen ”Avian's up in his room. It's the last one on the right”
I thanked her then and she smiled, before disappearing into the kitchen.
”Not so much flour, Lexi,” I heard Avian's mother say in a frustrated tone followed by the clanking of some sort of metal spoon.
”But it says to put in one hand full” I heard Lexi's tiny voice.
”Yeah, you put in three”
”I want more than one cupcake”
I laughed and headed toward the stairs, the real reason as to why I had come here in the first place dawning on me. I found the last room on the right, and instantly knew it was Avian's from the sound of rock music blaring on the other side of the door.
”Don't do it”
”Do it”
I let out a low breath and mustered up whatever courage I had, raising my hand and knocking carefully on the door.
The music stopped a few seconds after my hand had connected with the wood; I froze, slow nervous chills crawling up my spine.
”Come in,” I heard him say and I ran my hands through my hair, shaking it out nervously; taking in a deep breath, I slowly opened the door.
Avian was sprawled across his bed in a black hoodie and some sweatpants; he was throwing a ball up in the air casually.
His eyes met mine.
In shock, he forgot about the ball he'd thrown up into the air, and gravity pulled it back down, right onto Avian's face.
I sniggered.
He groaned and rubbed the side of his face that had felt the ball's impact, before pulling himself up and sitting on the edge of the bed; I made no move toward him.
”Hey” he said quietly, glancing toward me; I smiled slightly.
”Hi”
There was silence, an awkward one where we weren't sure exactly what to say to the other. Slowly, I pushed myself off of the doorframe and sauntered over to where Avian sat, lowering myself onto the bed beside him.
Silence.