53 Chapter 19 (1/2)
October 8th 2013; 9:09pm
A cold breeze blew past me bitterly, chilling me to my core as I opened the rusty iron gate; the earsplitting silence was impaled suddenly by the deathly shriek of an unseen crow. Overhead, dark greyish clouds cast the old cemetery into inky blackness; the clusters of water vapor tarnished out the full moon as they sailed on by.
Moving further into the cemetery, a fresh chill ran along my spine and I let out a shiver, slowly pulling my jacket tighter around me; the greyish white headstones were spread out, a sparse decoration on the landscape before me. A stationary fog hung over the stones of the deceased eerily like a throttling but protective scabbard; it seemed to threaten those who dared disturb their eternal slumber.
The moonlight cast an eerie shadow on the path, so I headed down it, knowing exactly where I needed to go. When I found the row she was buried in, I broke off the path and sauntered carefully toward her tombstone.
”Hey Lolita”
My voice came out a tad bit reluctant as I stood before the stone, wrapping my arms around myself. Slowly, I lowered myself to the floor and sat parallel to the headstone.
Lolita Hunter; beloved daughter, sister and friend 1997-2013
I swallowed and glanced down nervously at my hands; this was the first time I had visited her grave since she had passed away and I was finally beginning to see why I had stayed away.
Sighing, I glanced back up at the tombstone.
”Alex and I made up” I chuckled humorlessly and bit my lip, before realizing how that had sounded ”we didn't get back together or anything,” I smiled ”we're just friends now”
It was the kind of silence that you could hear your heartbeat clearly; the kind where you feel everything in an instant yet you can see and hear nothing. I swallowed.
”I spoke to Angel and Rain today,” I paused ”don't worry, we're good” I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.
What was I doing?
”I asked them for advice and they said ”what would Lolita do?”,” I chuckled softly as I stared at the tombstone.
Silence. I exhaled heavily.
”Thing is, Avian's being completely difficult,” I scoffed ”I know you'd probably tell me to stop being a baby and go talk to him”
There were quiet sounds of a hooting owl then, and I rubbed the goosebumps that had formed on my lower arm.
”How am I supposed to convince him that he should fight?” I ran my hands through my hair ”fight to stay with his family…” I swallowed ”with me?”
I glanced up then, staring at the empty sky as a lump rose in my throat.
”You'd probably tell me to respect his wishes,” I dragged my gaze down and glared at the dirt ”but deep inside, I don't want to”
I sighed.
”I can't lose him too.”
Thunder crashed above me, lighting brightening up the sky as I sat before the headstone; the wind whispered then, as though carrying the faintest sounds of Lolita's voice.
My eyes brimmed with tears.
”I miss you so much Lolita,” I took in a deep breath as the tears fell ”so much, it hurts”
The wind howled as the thunder crashed above, and I glanced down at my hands; they were covered in dirt.
”I'm so sorry,” I sniffed and glanced up ”It was all my fault; you were trying to protect me” I wiped my stained cheek as fresh tears fell freely ”I'm the big sister; I should have been the one protecting you and I'm so sorry”