37 Chapter 13B (1/2)

The music changed then, and a slow tack began its melody, the singer's voice filling up the room.

I laid back on the bed slowly, putting my hands on my stomach. With a sigh, I stared silently up at the ceiling as I listened to the song that was playing. Avian glanced at me for a while, then he followed suit and also leaned back on the bed. Silently, we stared up at the ceiling and listened.

”You know, under different circumstances, this song would be a whole lot more of a turn on” Avian murmured, turning his head to place his lips next to my ear. I burst out laughing, rolling my eyes at the typical teenage boy laying next to me, and turned my head to look at him; I, however, did not anticipate him to still be looking at me.

Realizing how close our faces were, to the point that the tips of our noses were touching, I looked into Avian's eyes, a blush becoming evident on my cheeks.

He stared back at me, his eyes shining as countless emotions flashed through them. I swallowed softly then, not daring to move so as not to accidentally lean closer to him. Ignoring the butterflies, the way my hands were shaking, and the constant heavy thumping that my heart had recently taken up, I forced myself not to look away and it seemed as though he was doing the same thing.

I smiled.

”I'm sorry,” Avian said softly, turning his body to face mine. He lay there for a couple of seconds, before I realized he was expecting me to do the same thing; he raised his eyebrow and looked at me expectantly. Slowly, I turned on my side, put my hands under my head to stop them from shaking nervously, and looked at Avian ”you know, for what I said”

”I don't need this bullshit” I cringed as his voice flashed through my head, and I avoided looking directly at him.

”Oh!” I smiled falsely, looking back at him ”you mean what you said about not needing all of this?” I waved my arms around my body to indicate what I meant by ”all of this”

Avian burst out laughing then, shaking his head at my silliness. I smiled, glad I could take the tension off what had happened and sighed before glancing at him quietly again.

”I'm sorry too,” I said quietly and his laughter died down slowly. He turned back to look at me and sighed, before nodding slightly and shooting me a small smile.

The image of the orange hospital band flashed through my head.

”Just,” I bit my lip, glancing away and wondering why on earth I was about to bring this up after we had just established that we were friends again ”just let me know if you're okay”

Avian sighed and ran a palm over his face, before running it through his hair. Slowly, he turned to me and gave me a small smile.

”I am,” he said quietly and I nodded, trying my best to suppress the scoff that had threatened to burst from me. He had sounded anything but sincere but at that moment, I didn't want to fight with him again and I was prepared to take his word, even as false as it sounded, for it.

He would tell me what was wrong with him eventually.

But then, if the roles were switched, would I ever tell him what was wrong in my life?

”Everything's fine Shay,” he said again, noticing my hesitant expression. I nodded then, smiling briefly.

Would he ever let me know?

Because if it was me, I certainly wouldn't. That sudden realization surfaced a sudden sadness deep within me.

Avian sighed then, and reached over ever so slowly to push my blonde bangs out of my face and tuck them behind my ear.

I swallowed.

Avian smiled softly at me, and then took my hand.

I groaned inwardly as the butterflies started up again.

He watched my expression as he intertwined our fingers and pulled my hand towards his lips, before slowly planting a kiss on the back of my hand.

Slowly, I let out a long low breath and stared at him, as he ran the fingers of his other hand over the side of my face. He turned his attention to our intertwined fingers and then started rubbing circles with his thumb on my hand.

At that moment, I'm pretty sure my heart skipped a beat.

”Is this weird?” Avian asked then, before moving his gaze from our fingers to meet my eyes.

Was it weird?

Not. If the fact that I felt as though I was about to suffer a massive heart attack meant that this was weird, and then this was extremely bizarre.

He had the fingers of one hand running up and down the side of my face and the other was holding my palm.

Was that considered weird?

Especially since my body was giving him all the right replies: the jittery feeling running through me, the fact that my heart was skipping beats like a crazy deejay, and a weird kind of satisfaction.

Alex flashed through my head then.

Unlike when my ex-boyfriend had been holding my hand and Avian had flashed through my head, I ignored the image of Alex and gave Avian a small smile.

What did that mean?

That I had stronger feelings for Avian than I did for Alex?

Alex and I had been together two years before I dumped him, and I had only known Avian for a month.

Was what I was feeling possible?

Or was I just extremely delusional?

I wasn't even sure what the answer to his question was supposed to be as I had forgotten it completely, so I ignored it and glanced down at our hands.