Part 1 (1/2)
Three Elephant Power
by Andrew Barton 'Banjo' Paterson
THREE ELEPHANT POWER
”The the speed indicator with his fingers, ”theht for the police But, Lord, you can fix 'em up if you want to Did you ever hear about Henery, that used to drive for old John Bull--about Henery and the elephant?”
Alfred was chauffeur to a friend of mine ned a very powerful car
Alfred was part of that car Weirdly intelligent, of poor physique, he hty His education had been somewhat hurried, but there was no doubt as to hisduck to water He talked ht motor, and would have accepted--I won't say with enthusiasm, for Alfred's motto was 'Nil adreatest race in the world He could drive really well, too; as for belief in hie he was prepared to vivisect a six-cylinder engine with the confidence of a diplo a tendency to flash driving, and a delight in persecuting slow cars by driving just in front of the theain, he was a respectable member of society When his boss was in the car he cloaked the natural ferocity of his instincts; but this day, with only myself on board, and a clear run of a hundred and twenty miles up to the station before him, he let her loose, confident that if any trouble occurred I would be held morally responsible
As we flew past a so softly, leant forward and turned on a little more oil
”You never heard about Henery and the elephant?” he said ”It was dead funny Henery was a bushwacker, but clean mad on motorin' He ood and water joey at soo past one day, the first that ever they had in the districk
”'That's ame,' says Henery; 'no more wood and water joey for ets a job off Miles that had that garage at the back of Allison's An old cove that they called John Bull--I don't know his right name, he was a fat old cove--he used to come there to hire cars, and Henery used to drive him And this old John Bull he had lots of stuff, so at last he reckons he's going to get a car for himself, and he promises Henery a job to drive it A queer cove this Henery was--half mad, I think, but the best hand with a car ever I see”
While he had been talking we topped a hill, and opened up a new stretch of blue-grey granite-like road Down at the foot of the hill was a tea at their nose-bags, while the tea a billy a little off to the side of the road There was a turn in the road just below the waggon which looked a bit sharp, so of course Alfred bore down on it like a ind The big stupid teaether and pushed each other aardly as we passed A dog that had been sleeping in the shade of the waggon sprang out right in front of the car, and was exter what struck hion and negotiate the turn Alfred, with the cal round the bend to find that the teaon Nothing but a lightning-like twist of the steering-wheel prevented our scooping the old anier As it e carried off most of his tail as a trophy on the brass of the laood and hard, but by that tione, and hethis strenuous episode Alfred never relaxed his professional stolidity, and, ere clear, went on with his story in the tone of ain animation
”Well, at fust, the old ht-horse rubby-dubbys that go strugglin' up 'ills with a death-rattle in its throat, and all the people in buggies passin' it O' course that didn't suit Henery He used to get that spiked when a car passed hiot the sack for dodgin' about up a steep 'ill in front of one o' the twenty-four Darracqs, full of 'owlin' toffs, and not lettin' 'eot to the top But at last he persuaded old John Bull to let hiland and buy a car for him He was to do a year in the shops, and pick up all the wrinkles, and get a car for the old , wasn't it?”
Our progress here was barred by our rounding a corner right on to a flock of sheep, that at once packed together into a solidthe whole road fros, ain't they?” said Alfred, putting on his e up till the car caainst the cushi+on-like mass--a much quicker stop than any horse-drawn vehicle could have made A few sheep were crushed somewhat, but it is well known that a sheep is practically indestructible by violence
Whatever Alfred's faults were, he certainly could drive
”Well,” he went on, lighting a cigarette, unheeding the growls of the drovers, ere trying to get the sheep to pass the car, ”well, as I was sayin', Henery went to England, and he got a car Do you knoot he got?”
”No, I don't”
”'E got a ninety,” said Alfred slowly, giving time for the words to soak in
”A ninety! What do you ine as made for some American millionaire and wasn't as fast as wot some other millionaire had, so he sold it for the price of the iron, and Henery got it, and had a body built for it, and he corel--you know, one of them cars that's made part in one place and part in another, the body here and the engine there, and the radiator another place There's lots of cheap cars made like that
”So Henery he says that this is a twenty ine; and nobody drops to what she is till Henery goes out one Sunday and waits for the big Napier that Scotty used to drive--it belonged to the sa racehorse on all the races So Henery and Scotty they have a fair go round the park while both their bosses is at church, and Henery beat hiht--fair lost him--and so Henery was reckoned the boss of the road No one would take hi here required Alfred's attention A little girl, carrying a billy-can of water, stood by the stepping stones, and smiled shyly as we passed Alfred waved her a salute quite as though he were an ordinary hu I felt comforted He had his moments of relaxation evidently, and his affections like other people
”What happened to Henry and the ninety-horse machine?” I asked ”And where does the elephant coly
”Ain't I tellin' yer,” he said ”You wouldn't understand if I didn't tell yer how he got the car and all that So here's Henery,” he went on, ”with old John Bull goin' about in the fastest car in Australia, and old John, he's a quiet old geezer, that wouldn't drive faster than the regulations for anything, and that short-sighted he can't see to the side of the road So what does Henery do? He fixes up the speed-indicator--puts a new face on it, so that when the car is doing thirty, the indicator only shows fifteen, and twenty for forty, and so on So out they'd go, and if Henery knew there was a big car in front of him, he'd let out to forty-five, and the pace would very near blow the whiskers off old John; and every now and again he'd look at the indicator, and it'd be showin' twenty-two and a half, and he'd say:
”'Better be careful, Henery, you're slightly exceedin' the speed limit; twenty h for anybody, and you're doing over twenty-two'