98 Hands (1/2)

Ryder immediately pouted, ”what's that supposed to mean?”

”What do you think it means?” Regan asked playfully.

”That you don't care about me. Also, it's the same thing you said about Vixen, be creative,” Ryder scolded

”Well I've only known you for like 10 minutes now, of course, I don't care about you, but if you say be creative, it doesn't change because I don't care. I don't mind it at all,” Regan shrugged.

”Don't mind it at all?” Ryder cocked his head in confusion, ”is it not surprising? Disgusting? Annoying? Curious? Why do you have no reaction at all?”

”Hmm let's see…” Regan muttered, looking away from Ryder to try to piece her thoughts into words. She turned back to him when she got it, ”I've lost the ability to feel surprised, I've met something more disgusting than you could ever be and annoying? I also know something three times as annoying as you could ever be. Curiosity? Do I deserve it??”

Ryder cocked his head in confusion.

”I ask myself this question whenever I feel the need to know more. Do I deserve it? Do I deserve to know about this person if so is it enough to ask about their past?” Regan explained, ”right now I only have enough knowledge about you to only know about your hobbies and such. Things like a disorder or past are things some people would rather keep to themselves but there are some people that deserve to know that. I am not one of them. I've only known you for an hour total and you for like 10 minutes. Who am I to ask about something so personal?”

An 'ah' of understanding slipped out of Ryder's mouth. He understood but didn't like it. ”What if I want you to know?”

Regan wasn't surprised at his question. She had predicted it. ”Same goes for that,” She nodded, ”even if you tell me that you want me to know, if I decide that I do not deserve to know then I will not want to listen and will be uncomfortable carrying that new knowledge on me if you tell me.”

Ryder gave out a dissatisfied sigh, ”that's quite a strict way to live.”

”It's my way to live. If I step out of that circle, waves hit me at once and I get drowned. I'll rather be guarded than drown again,” Regan smiled desolately.

She hadn't thought this way before, but now it became something that she tried to keep close to her heart. After Vixen stormed off she had been thinking about a lot of things and it all came down to the simple phrase, 'do I deserve it?' Vixen was in charge of her meaning they should have had a basic understanding of each other like favorite food, job, hobbies e.t.c. None of that was made. After missing that crucial part of their encounter, the issue was bound to come up, especially since Regan had a more widely known job. In her defense, it was a matter of 'does he deserve it?' He never met that condition.

”Why're you looking at me like a lost puppy? Is this still Ryder?” Regan jokingly asked.

Ryder frowned, holding Regan's other hand. He pulled her forward and locked eyes with her. ”Same eyes isn't it? It's still me. Ryder.”

Regan grinned, ”of course it is. I recognize those eyes.”

Ryder stared for a moment before looking away and slowly sitting back down. ”Just so you know, I'll wait.”

”Hmm?” Regan tilted her head in confusion.

”I'm guessing you think you don't deserve to know anything about me right now and if I say different, it probably won't change anything so I'll wait till you think you do,” Ryder muttered.

Regan simply blinked and then gave another bright smile, ”thanks, but what happened to flirty Ryder? You matured in a matter of seconds, it's a bit scary.”

Ryder's eyebrow raised curiously and he smirked, ”You like the flirty kind I see~ how would you like me to be, love?”

”Aish! Go back to mature Ryder,” Regan faked a disgusted expression. They both burst into laughter.

Ryder stopped laughing and watched Regan laugh. A small smile laid on his lips. ”It's been a while since I laughed with someone,” he muttered, ”it's nice.”

He placed his head on the table and slipped his hand into Regan's. Then his eyes slowly closed and he drifted off to sleep.

Regan looked down at their hands intertwined in each other and bit back the urge to frown. It was too close. They had gotten too close in just one meeting, she didn't like it. She looked at him lying so peaceful and weighed her options. Leave him be or wake him up.

”Ryder?” Regan called out, tapping his head. There was no reply.

His grip on her hand tightened. Regan flinched, waking him up it was.

”RYDER!!!” Regan called out shaking him violently. He stirred a bit but didn't wake up. His hand remained in hers and Regan's skin where their hands touched grew hot. ”RYDER!! WAKE UP NOW!!”

Finally, he moved and groaned. Slowly he sat up and tried to rub his eye, pulling Regan closer and using her hand instead.

He flinched, the scent was different. He opened his eyes and jumped when he saw an unfamiliar hand in his. He looked up and spotted Regan, immediately yelping.

”What in the world!!” he shrieked.

A smile grew on Regan's face as his revival. ”Ryd-” she began and then locked eyes with him. 'Ah…' she thought to herself. ”Antonin.”

”Yes?” Antonin replied, still visibly shaken by the fact that he was holding Regan's hand. ”What happen-”

Regan let a sigh and she looked away, ”if you're done sleeping, let go of my hand now, please. You fell asleep and started holding my hand in your sleep.”

”Ah!” Antonin blushed, immediately retracting his hand.