Chapter 4 Another Discovery (1/2)

”I'm a boy?!”

It took quite some time for Kylie to process this. Her brain was going into overdrive as she went into shock. This was unexpected. Completely. Totally.

As if to confirm it even further, Kylie kept opening and closing her legs, just to feel that squiggly bit. Her arms were not formed well enough to actually enable her to reach down and touch it for confirmation, so she could only do this exercise repeatedly until she calmed down.

This time, she was going to be a boy. A guy. With that dangly bit in-between the legs. As her mind adjusted to the new discovery, Kylie felt rather relieved. Relief that she was going to be reborn as a male, rather than transmigrating into a male body. Adapting would have been SO much harder then. She could imagine the shock people would have at this supposed waste of a man (all stories had the 'old' life being useless) become even more of a waste when 'he' starts to be more effeminate. If she had transmigrated into a country that was open minded and that such things were rather normal, it would be fine but if not ... Kylie shuddered to think of what she would have had to do to become a 'real' man.

After the initial shock had subsided, Kylie found that she was not as panicked as she thought she would be. The fact that she could accept the reality that she was going to live life in the complete opposite gender as her previous life may sound unreal, but that's the way she was. It was a trait of hers, that had been developed in her previous life, and somehow, it became a much stronger trait in this life. When there are things that could not be changed, then she would simply adapt to it and accept it whole heartedly. Of course, it goes without saying that if it could be changed then she would work hard to do so. Since this wasn't (short of taking reconstructive surgery), then she would just deal with it.

Kylie shrugged mentally. Actually, this was going to be interesting.

If Kylie was to be perfectly honest, she had always wondered how it would be like to be a boy. Perhaps it was due to her being so untypically female. A tomboy that was more comfortable in jeans, climbing trees and mixing with boys rather than dressing up. Make-up and dresses? Puh-lease. Plus, the drama of girls had been beyond her. She couldn't understand what was so fun about it. Even as an adult, wearing heels and skirts had never been an option. Sneakers or flat shoes, and jeans were her outfits. Of course, that was only the outward appearance. Internally? Kylie admits that she did go goo-goo-ga-ga over any hot boys when she was a growing up. She also enjoyed being pampered and looked after as well. So it wasn't like she felt she was a guy living in a woman's body. Kylie had no real complaints about being a woman, other than having to be more 'girly', so to speak. She did not normally act within society's 'acceptable perception / expectations of a woman'.

Kylie began to think even more, digging up old memories and feelings.

If one was to be brutally honest, another aspect in which she had been so untypically female was by the fact that she enjoyed physical intimacy greatly. ”Not typical” simply by society's standards, that is. Women having such a high s** drive was frowned upon by society and labelled as either sluts or loose. It was different for me. Men could have a high s** drive and even have had multiple partners and would only be viewed as 'normal'.

Kylie sighed internally yet again.

Even her husband couldn't truly fulfil her, and it was really, really weird to be the one who initiated bedroom activities most of the time. It was also extremely exhausting mentally, and eats up at your self-esteem. Kylie began to feel she was weird and there was something wrong; and worse of all, that she was not desirable. If it wasn't for the fact that her husband would eventually give in to her seduction, she would have thought he was repulsed by her.

Kylie laughed bitterly at the memory of her friends who would complain that their husbands ”always wanted it” and they felt ”like a piece of meat” sometimes, yet in her case, it was the other way around. No one could understand her feelings and she couldn't even voice them out. Even that one time that she did, she had gotten this lecture about how inappropriate she was. Kylie rolled her eyes at that memory, as that particular scene flashed again in front of her. Times like this, her HD movie rerun capabilities wasn't quite welcomed.