Chapter 240 - The Decision is Made (1/2)

Whilst he could see that beneath the surface his parents still worried for what was to come, Rassa did his best to keep the dinner they had casual and calm. He asked his father about work that day, and apologised after a scolding for missing it himself. He complimented his mother's bread and asked if she needed him to massage her wrists again. They'd been seeming a bit weaker the last couple of months.

Then, for what he knew would be the last time, he sat down out the front of his house with his father and stared at the stars above in companionable silence whilst his mother sat inside, patching some of their clothes with a practiced and skilled hand.

”Are you sure you're okay?” asked his father, and Rassa knew immediately that his father was referring to the revelation about the Kildares, ”I don't consider this an easy reality to accept”.

”It's not,” Rassa agreed, ”But it will always be part of who I am. The important thing is to remember what and who I was before. The moment I forget, that I let it consume me, that's the moment I lose sight of who I am. The past may not be pleasant, it may even be horrible and worthy of being buried and forgotten, but if I bury it completely I do a disservice to the me of that time. After all, it was the me then that got out. It was the me then that didn't give up”.

Rassa paused, turning to look at his father, ”Do you think I can do it, dad? Do you think I can stay strong enough to remember?”

”You will always remember it, no matter your strength or will,” Phillip replied, ”Accepting it and living with it is where your strength will be tested”.

Rassa nodded in agreement as he turned away, then he felt his father's hand as it clapped down on his shoulder, and he turned back.

”But I think you can do it,” Phillip smiled, ”You've always been the type that once you find something you want, something you care for, you will go after it and protect it. Even if it means hurting yourself on the way. It drives your mother and I crazy”.

Rassa smiled back, then he pulled his father in for a hug.

”I love you, you know that, right?” asked Rassa.

Phillip, somewhat surprised, hugged his son back, ”Of course, Rassa. I love you too”.

Rassa held his father for a moment longer, allowing himself to cling like a child for one more moment before he pulled back and stood up.

”I'm going for a walk, but I'll say goodnight to mum first,” said Rassa.

”A walk?” asked his father, ”Don't go too far”.

Rassa smiled, ”I'm only going to the orchard and back, nothing to worry about”.

His father nodded.

Rassa entered the house to find his mother had fallen asleep on her chair in the corner as she knitted. He smiled at her, taking in her aged face and wishing that she'd been able to live this long in reality. That his last memory of her was not her teary-eyed sadness and longing as she watched him be pulled away in a cage. He stepped over and leaned down placing a kiss on her forehead.

”I love you, mother,” Rassa whispered, ”And I have not and will never hold it against you. You're only human after all”.

Then Rassa stood straight and took one last look around the room before he stepped out, waving goodbye to his father and making his way to the Orchard.

***