Chapter 169 - I’ll bring you here one day. (2/2)
Uncaringly I dropped vertically on the bed. Staring at the ceiling, I could not help but feel helpless. I did not want to think about the past. That time was gone. But, then why, this restlessness was creeping in after I saw her. She brought all the unhappy memories.
Despite not wanting to think about it, my mind refused to back down.
I blinked and then turned my unfocused gaze away from the ceiling to the wall before me. Innaya's smiling face in the form of large painting greeted me. Watching that beautiful smile on her face finally gave me some relief. Caught in the haze, I could not move my eyes form the paining that took almost the entire space of the wall.
As if in a daze, I pulled my body up and sat down. It was the painting that had taken me four months to complete two years ago. In the silence of night after office hours, I would lock myself up in this studio apartment, where I would work on venting my loneliness.
I had often missed Innaya. As I could not confess my feelings, I had to restrain my growing emotions. I had once seen something like it in Ayush's home. I did not know exactly why he had drawn up the scenery covering the whole wall in his bedroom. However, it kind of looked cool. I had found my inspiration there.
”Say, do you think I'm foolish?”
I traced the pink lips of the girl that was smiling unrestrainedly. In my moments of despair, she was the one to lift my spirits.
”You, my dear wife, have no idea how much I have longed for you. You might feel I'm being overbearing if you know how much I love you and want to be with you. You might feel, I'm being unreasonable by not sharing things with you.” I sighed. These days, I could not bring myself to share my feelings easily with her.
I did not know why, but I would forget my worries when I was with her. It might feel exaggeration, but it was not that case. She really made me forget other things. All I could remember would be only her. However, it seemed that only I thought it that way. Innaya had started to notice it as well.
When I myself had no idea what was wrong with me, then how was I meant to explain things to her?
”Tesoro, please forgive this husband of yours. I'm only over thinking and messing things. I promise you. I won't think unrelated stuff and bother myself because of it.”
”You see this room. I'll bring you here one day. Would you be surprised?” Even when I knew I was talking to the lifeless painting which was unable to respond to me, I felt it was good talking alone. I did not have to watch my words or my emotions.
”I know, I'm worrying you too much. But, sweetheart, I'm not doing it purposefully. Please, give me some time. I'll sort out everything.” I promised to her. In truth, it was a reminder to myself. I needed to get myself together.
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