Chapter 166 - Oh! My wife thinks – (2/2)

I leaned back in the chair, stretching my hands above my head. After spending around three hours, I had ordered some books online on business management. There was still a half a year's time gap for the admission and entrance exam. With so many new developments in my life, they have left an impact on my studies as well. If I wanted to pursue higher education, I needed to work on polishing my knowledge. I did not have much to do every day after Eshan left for the office. This provided me with plenty of time on working on my goal.

The books I ordered would be arriving soon. I placed the laptop on the table and stretched my legs in front. I yawned feeling a little sleepy. It was close to two in the afternoon. After waking up at four-thirty in the morning, I couldn't help but feel sleepy.

When I blinked my watery eyes, I suddenly noticed that Fortune was lying quietly on my side. I did not realize, but he had been sitting there for very long, almost from the time I sat there and busied myself with online shopping.

When our eyes met, he suddenly became alert. His tail started wagging in all possible directions. It started with the slow-motion before it gained speed. It left me feeling amazed at what little attention did to him.

”Are you happy?” I gently cooed him like a baby.

Feeling brave, I stood up and moved to sit down on the floor beside the dog bed he had dragged at some point of the time near the sofa. I was being brave, not stupid. I had left a considerable distance between us and as a safety precaution, I took the cushion from the chair as a form of some barrier.

Keeping my eyes on him, I slowly lowered myself in the sitting position. I knew my posture was a little defensive, but who could blame me. Though I wasn't bitten by any dog, the fright my childhood self had received was enough for me to run away at the sight of them.

Fortune made some sound as if he was answering to my question.

”Why are you happy? Do you like me?” I knew I was being silly. Fortunately, there was no one around to see my weirdness.

Apart from Siya, no one had tried to make me face the dogs. The girl loved the dogs, she had one at her home. I had only been once at her place, but the moment I saw that giant dog at her house, I had never gone back there.

She did not know the story behind my cynophobia. She had tried to make me leave behind my fear, but she had failed in achieving the result she wanted.

Remembering about Siya suddenly made me realize that I had not seen her in a very long time. Forget about seeing her, I recalled not being in contact with her.

Last I remember that shopping trip had gone wrong. It was around the time, I had that confrontation with Eshan. After that, I had lost contact with everyone around me. I had locked myself up in our house, drowning in the guilt. It was only this month where things were starting to settle down.

Should I call her? I carefully thought about it.

I wanted to, but then thinking again I decided not to. Some things could not be settled on the phone. I also needed to know about her consistent inquires regarding how Eshan treated me.

The girl had no bad intentions, but there had to be some reason behind it. As far as I knew her, she wouldn't probe so desperately as much as she did.

A small feather-like touch brought me out of Siya's thoughts. Looking down, I noticed Fortune had stealthily crawled near me, and his nose had bumped softly against the back of my palm that was resting on my knee.

Surprised, at the suddenness of Fortune's small action I forgot to breathe. I would not say I got scared. It was just a shock. I waited for negative memories to group up and start attacking. I waited for my mind to raise red flags, in a warning. I waited for my heart to start palpitating. I waited for my body to go numb.

I waited and kept on waiting.

However, nothing of that sort happened. Instead, I found my mind in a calm state apart from the ripple of pleasant surprise, following those two expectant eyes of Fortune.

It never happened before when I was expecting to have a panic attack because of a trigger and didn't have one. I pondered for a while running the situation in my mind.

Though I failed to reach any concrete answer, I somewhere guessed that it had something to do with my stress level.

The morning walks, mediation was positively helping me. Along with the vast improvement in my relationship with Eshan also affected me emotionally. Fortune was staying with us in the past days, and he was becoming a part of our small family. I guessed these factors added up lessening my anxiety.

This realization gave me new hope. The hope of trying to live a mentally healthier life. I wanted to explore the ways of building up my mental health.

Deciding to take a chance, I brought my palm up and tentatively placed upon Fortune's head.

***