Chapter 159 - Grandpas Death Anniversary (1/2)

|Innaya|

I sighed as I listened to the old songs of Kishor Kumar. The twenty-fifth arrived sooner than I imagined. I didn't know how one week had passed. And, it brought so much pain along with it. I did not wish for Eshan to see me in my miserable state, so I forced him to leave for his office. He did not want to. After requesting him to give me some alone time for a couple of hours, he had reluctantly agreed.

He left around an hour ago. However, I knew he would return very soon. Sending him to the office was the only option I could think at the moment. I knew, despite not wanting to be emotional I was going to cry.

From yesterday I was feeling down, but I controlled my emotions around him. The moment, he went away I could not help those tears I had restrained for so long.

I scrolled through videos of grandpa on my mobile.

I missed his care. I missed his warmth. I missed him.

I turned off the music player when it became unbearable to listen to the songs grandpa loved. Each song was bringing piercing pain to my heart as it was linked to memories of grandpa.

I looked at the guitar beside me. It was the one grandpa had gifted me. I caressed the strings with my thin, slender fingertips. My therapist had suggested him to enroll me in music classes.

Those music lessons helped me to relieve my stress. My fears, my stress, I would forget everything when I played the guitar. After marriage, that hobby was forgotten. It had been so long that I had touched my guitar. However, after running my fingers across it, I started feeling stuffed with emotions.

***

(Flashback 9 years ago)

I ran through the whole house, searching for the person who had answers to my every question. I needed to have an answer. I needed it from him.

When I didn't find him, my legs turned to the study. I knew he was home. I had seen his car outside, he must have returned early. That was a good thing. The wooden door to the study was open.

He was sitting behind that wooden large table covering almost one side of the study.

”Grandpa, do you think Innu is a bad girl?” I asked the question to my grandfather whose fingers typing on the laptop paused in the mid-air.

He glanced at me. I was standing in his study before his desk.

”Come here.”

He removed his gold-rimmed spectacles and kept them beside the keyboard. He then swiveled his chair to the side and waited for me to approach him.

With tears glistening in my eyes, I didn't move.

”Do you think Innu is a bad girl?” I asked again as I tried to suppress my cries.

Grandpa sighed as he stood up and walked to me when I didn't move.

He sat down on the carpet before me as he pulled me along as well beside him. I sniffled rubbing my eyes furiously. I didn't have anything to wipe it with. Grandpa pulled out the handkerchief from his pocket and wiped my tears first.

”My Innu is a very good girl. Who said anything about being bad. Tell grandpa now and grandpa will see to it.”

”Am I really a good girl?” My tears had stopped, but the fear was still there.

It was the parents meeting today at my school. I was in middle school in sixth grade. In this new school, no one knew about my past. The other kids in my class nagged me endlessly, bullying me for not bringing my father to the school even once. In the last two years, my mother was the one who attended everything.

However, today those kids seemed to have taken an interest in my matter as they laughed, mocked me saying how much of bad daughter I was. My father didn't want me. Grandpa would also attend those meetings in my school but from the last couple of months being busy with his office work, he wasn't able to.

Those kids used this as well to taunt me and remind me that grandpa would leave me to. Nobody wanted bad girls. One day or another everyone was going to hate me.

I knew what kind of a father I had. They didn't know. They didn't have the slightest bit of what my father was. However, saying that the grandfather I relied upon, who made me feel a sense of security wouldn't want me. It was way too cruel.

I sobbed again recalling their words.