Chapter 154 - Lonely Bed (1/2)

|Innaya|

Lazily stretching my body on the bed, I let my mind have the time to get ready for the day. For years, it had been my routine to have a few moments with myself before getting ready for the day. Unless urgent, I rarely broke the rule of spending a couple of minutes on the bed.

After getting married, the routine remained the same, reasons changed. I never liked confinements; I detested them with all my heart. Things changed with time. The girl, who desired freedom, now longed for the confinement of a strong steel band of arms of the man. I adapted quite quickly to having someone accompany me on the bed.

In the past, I hadn't allowed anyone on my bed, not even my mother. So, it had surprised me when Eshan occupied my side without any reluctance or protest from my side. It seemed like, a marriage made me more flexible to changes around me.

I frowned when I missed the warmth that usually enveloped me, providing me the feeling of safety, assurance, and love. Instead of a warm, cozy embrace of my husband, I woke up to the cold, empty bed. It was new. It had never happened when we're together recently. Even if Eshan woke up before me, he would still stay in the bed, with me, holding me while checking his emails or reading messages on his mobile.

So, when I woke up to his absence, it made me feel a little weird. I couldn't help but feel worried, recalling his behavior from last night. Memories of last night started pouring one by one in my mind. His desperation, his clinging behavior even in his sleep still made me wonder what he was holding inside.

I had fallen asleep very late, contemplating the reasons behind his abrupt need for my closeness. My sleep had vanished after that kiss in the car, and later his distressed self in the bed also worried me. I had even hummed the lullaby to him, the one my grandpa used to sing for me.

”Eshan?”

I called out as I threw away the duvet from my body. I did not receive any response.

I got down from the bed. Wearing my slippers, I adjusted my robe. I glanced at the clock before leaving the room, taking my mobile along with me. It wasn't even his office time yet. It was only six-thirty in the morning.

In those two months without him, I dreaded waking up alone in our bed. That was why I had spent so many nights on the couch in our bedroom as my vacant eyes stared at the empty bed. The barren bed would taunt me, reminding me how I had hurt its owner.

I had failed to cherish the reason for the most beautiful moments I had spent in the place which was my new home. Everything would come back, eating me from inside, making me hate myself. Those memories of loneliness were creeping in my mind, showing me different pictures for Eshan's absence in our body. Not a single one was pleasant to imagine.

I didn't want to experience those feelings ever.