Chapter 124 - Do you think I deceived you? (1/2)

|Innaya|

Something was breaking inside me. I had no idea what, but there was that empty feeling crawling on me. I shuddered with suppressed emotional turmoil boiling inside me.

I could simply not understand why such things had to happen to me. Just yesterday, I trusted Eshan and shared something which I had not shared with anyone. I thought he deserved it. I was not sure anymore.

I did not expect him to do so. I would have eventually married him but why they had to lie? I hated liars, and my family was very well informed about it. Had they thought of consequences when I got to know the truth? Were they concerned about how it would affect me?

I felt like pulling my hair. Was I so unworthy of love and happiness? Something or other would happen and destroy my happiness. Even if it was for a day, I started feeling content, things would fall apart.

I did not blame anyone but myself. However, I could not help but think otherwise now. Had I not married Eshan because of deceit they did to me, things would have happened differently.

I would still have gotten the chance to complete my master's. I would not have missed my opportunity of enrolling for a master's degree. I would still have been at my home. Somehow, I would have helped mom with her condition. Those painful two months of separation would not have happened.

Karan would not have kidnapped me. I would not have faced Sahil's craziness that reminded me of my father. I would not have met that woman who was the reason of my miserable life. I would not have to bear so much pain.

Things really would have been different. Instead of rushing me to marry a stranger at that time, I could have gotten a chance to know him. The courtship period would have brought us closer, and things would have slowly fallen in place.

However, was there any point in crying over spoilt milk?

No.

It was my destiny. I could not change the past. But... It hurt. Thinking about everything, I started to feel awful with every passing second. The last five months started flashing before my eyes and I could not help but clutch my hair in fists. I did not care if it was hurting or not, for the pain in my heart was much more unbearable.

I blew out a breath as I scrunched up my face. Wiping my face with my palm I straightened up my back.

When I opened my eyes, I had a determination in them. I wanted answers. I wanted them from my husband. I wanted them from the man who said he loves me, he loved me for so long.

I wanted to know what he thought of me. Why he did what he did?

What kind of satisfaction or result did he get from agreeing to my mother's plan?

I needed to know his side of the story. I could have kept everything to me or perhaps I could have avoided Eshan till the time my mind regained its sanity. I knew I was angry, and I was hurt too.

The better choice would have been to keep myself isolated until I could talk without lashing out or saying bitter words. I knew it. I had learned it hard way. However, I was worried too. What if the past repeating itself?

I did not wish to have a repeat of last time. Confronting Eshan had led to a deep misunderstanding between us. Who knew if he thought I was doubting him? Did he not say something along those lines in that house, he did.