Chapter 61 - Behind that door (1/2)

|Innaya|

I breathed deeply. My current condition didn't differ much from the child who is enticed with a chocolate treat if he finished the cup of vegetable soup he detested. The child knows it's a trap, he might not get what is promised to him, yet with hope, he looks forward to it.

Arjun said I would find Eshan here, but what if he had left before we reached here? What if he saw me entering, and then left? What if Eshan wasn't here in the first place? What if Arjun was playing a cruel prank on me for taking revenge on behalf of his best friend? The number of 'what if's' were starting to give me headaches.

I started to have second thoughts on my decision of trusting Arjun. Did I misunderstand his sudden changed caring behavior? The teak wooden door ahead of me was the only thing stopping me from finding answers to all my questions. Just a step closer, and after opening the door, I would know to trust Arjun was the right decision or not.

I calmed myself. I didn't like raising my hopes, because hoping could be a double-edged sword. When hope is fulfilled, the abundant joy graces us. At the same time when it remains unfilled, all wait ahead of us is endless grief. For the last two months, I have had enough of grief. I could no longer handle any more of it.

However, my heart couldn't help, but hope. Hope, for meeting the man, I was relentlessly looking for. Hope, for having the chance to explain. Hope, of starting the blissful life, I had lost from the last two months, once again. My stupid heart dared to hope despite knowing the consequence.

I cleared my mind of everything, setting all thoughts aside. Suddenly, there was a flutter in my heart. My heartbeat picked up a pace. The feeling was different from what I had when I was stressed. I couldn't pinpoint what exactly that feeling was. I searched through my memories for an answer but found none.

I frowned when that feeling became persistent. I couldn't name it, couldn't describe it if one were to ask me. I concentrated on my breathing. At this point, maintaining my composure was of utmost priority. Everything else could wait.

Firming my resolve, I raised my right hand to knock on the door. Things would be clearer after the door opened. Seemed like the door wasn't locked because with just a slight force from my hand, and the door was pushed inside, revealing the inside of the room.

The first thing I noticed was the one I would have never imagined, and I would never want to. I don't know if it was my luck or just the intuition, but my gaze landed in the right corner, where someone was sitting. I pushed the door fully so that I could have a better look.

I took a step inside. Even though it was daytime before I had opened the door fully there wasn't enough light, rather the whole room was shadowed in the darkness. From the outside of the room, light entered inside the room making everything visible.

I stood rooted in my place. Against the wall, there sat the man. The very own person of my distress, misery, and pain, yet the only one who was the sole reason for my happiness.

Eshan.

Eshan sat on the floor, his hollow gaze fixed ahead on the something.