Chapter 57 - Dear life, when will this end? (2/2)

Is he not returning because he doesn't want to see me anymore? If that is the case, then I shall grant him this. I must leave this house and him. I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave him. If anything, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. In the short span of four months, the level of comfort he provided to me was something I never had with the opposite gender.

He made me feel happy. He made me feel normal. He made me feel comfortable. But, I don't feel that anymore, all I feel is never-ending sadness.

I am tired of this. I feel depressed, and I am not sure how long I will be able to bear this pain. My heart aches for him, so do my soul.

Dear life, when will this end?

I'm tired.

I want to give up.

I want this pain to go away.

I want to feel peaceful, again.

But, I don't know if I deserve it.

-

Innaya

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Drops of water falling on the paper made ink on the paper turn blurry and spread in a circle. I wiped my tears away with the back of my palm.

Unlike other times, I didn't burn this paper. Burning it would have made me feel emotionally lighter according to my experience, but I knew it wouldn't work this time.

I closed the diary. Bringing my knees close to my chest, I kept my head on them.

My eyes, greedily roamed around our bedroom that soon wouldn't be mine anymore. I made my decision while writing. I realized that Eshan's return was linked to my presence in his life. As long as I stayed here, he wouldn't be back.

What right I had to hinder him from his home? Only when I left from his life and Mumbai, he would return to his family and friends.

This was my last night, in the house which I had come to think of mine, but not anymore. The next day, I would take my leave and return to Bangalore.