Chapter 10 - You will be fine... (1/2)

|Innaya|

If two weeks before someone would have told me that I would be comfortably snuggling with the person I have never seen before, I would have probably laughed till my stomach ached and tears fell from my eyes. Of course after beating some sense in that person's hollow head. However, I am forced to question my own judgment as I found myself putting my arms around my husband.

The image of nine years old me, struggling to breathe as the pain in my back worsened, screaming for my mother, appeared in front of my closed eyes.

That memory had me tighten my hold, around him as I felt something wet on my cheek. I realized tears were running down through my closed eyelids, not wanting to ruin his shirt I pressed my eyelids tightly to stop the traitorous tears.

The week-long stay in the hospital, four stitches, injections, those IV's, and the sympathetic glances of staff, as well as relatives, were permanently etched in my memory. That incident not only caused the physical damage to me but also had affected me mentally, much more badly.

Sometimes it's not the wound that hurt most but the scars because over the time wound will heal however, scars left will haunt the person forever.

The gentle caresses on my back along with the comfort his presence helped me to compose my distressed self. I pulled back after sometimes making sure to avoid Eshan's eyes and turned away wiping my face hastily with the scarf to remove any traces of tears.

Wordlessly we left from there for our home.

*

Deep down, I knew it was not Eshan's fault to take me to the hospital yet I could not bring myself to talk with him. He was not aware that the simple visit would turn out to be the painful reminder. I should have told him but I could not bring myself to share something so personal.

Being my husband, he had every right to know everything, but how could I trust him? From childhood, I had been less talkative with people I barely knew. I hoped while detailing about me, Granny, had not missed telling Eshan this important information.

Maybe, he knew. Maybe, that was the reason he did not force me to express or share. He remained by my side offering me his silent support. I had seen questions swirling in his eyes yet somehow he kept them to himself... not voicing them... even once.

”Innaya,” Eshan's hesitant voice, called me from the bedroom door. I looked up from my laptop at him.

His face held guilty expression; I realized he was probably beating himself for my reaction.

”I... I am.”

”Eshan, come here.” I gestured him towards recliner I was sitting.

”What should I make for dinner?” I asked changing the topic as he sat beside me.

”Innaya, I am-”

I interrupted his apology, ”Eshan, it's not your fault. You did what you felt was right,” trying to assure him.

”I know the shot was needed, what I am saying is... I am sorry to force you there like this. I did not know,” Eshan answered taking my palm in his, playing with my fingers, keeping his eyes on them.

”Exactly, you did not know. So it's okay.” I answered looking at his face avoiding the sensation his fingers created on my skin.