Chapter 1550 (2/2)
Even though Jieu still doubted his own senses that informed him it was there, he could sense the gradual movement of this Stillborn Phoenix. Its body twitched unnaturally, but it dragged its bulk forward. It eyed Jieu greedily, as though relishing the thought of devouring the flame elemental-
“...ease up.” The Head Drill Sergeant’s voice cut sharply across Jieu’s emotional reaction. “You struggle too much against the image. If you cannot manage to control yourself in its presence...”
Jieu wanted to retort that this was a difficult task, but he knew that the Head Drill Sergeant would not accept excuses. Besides, he could not deny that he had been allowing his mind to wander to unnecessary details during this session. His own existence would remain stable until he gathered more information regarding this image. As long as Jieu could continue to accumulate experience, he would understand this strength. He trusted the Head Drill Sergeant
And yet… The flame elemental felt the even illumination released from his body dim. Even his light was being steadily sucked away by that horrible carrion creature within the egg of darkness. For the first time in a long time, he felt helpless. Why am I now hesitating... ? What do I fear within this image?Its determination is admirable… and exactly what I need.
In the initial stages of absorbing some of the principles from the Ghosthound’s image, it had gone extremely well. The process was smooth to the point of being unbelievable. The Jieu who usually prided himself on his self-control couldn’t help but be surprised by how quickly he gained incorporated some of the Ghosthound’s strength. The Stillborn Phoenix, because it was quite opposite Jieu, was everything that he lacked. His own image grew more robust and grounded the more he experienced this strange phenomenon.
Yet after a few days, he had reached a point where everything ground to a screeching halt. A grand and mysterious choice was manifesting in front of him, slowing the steady and reassuring speed of his improvements.
Could I be losing control of my image, as happened with Vant…? But now, my analysis seemed to indicate that I was sufficiently compatible with this image… More tremors ran through Jieu’s flames and he quickly tried to reign in his disparate thoughts. The shrieking of the Ghosthound’s image increased in volume as it devoured more and more, ceaselessly hungry. Yet...
He had been very skeptical that he, who cultivated an image of a perfect flame sitting on top of a rotating brass wheel, would be able to incorporate the image of an anthropomorphized black whole. Yet the more he was exposed to it, the more Jieu realized that the crux of the Head Drill Sergeant’s image was desire. A desire so twisted and desperate that it became an eternal purpose.
Desire at a sufficient strength grounded itself by warping the surroundings. If Jieu could incorporate just a sliver of that desire…
“...you’re afraid.” The Ghosthound announced and Jieu tried to marshal his honest expression; that pronouncement drew a flinch out of the fire elemental, despite his best efforts. The usually placid tongues of flame along his person began to flicker and tremble. There was a stretch of silence after that, which applied an invisible pressure to Jieu.
But the silence was nothing compared to the deep sigh released by the Head Drill Sergeant as he withdrew his image. Clicking its beak in disappointment, that ravenous Stillborn Phoenix gradually vanished. The howling died down to nothing.
In the suddenly peaceful training facility, Jieu lowered his head. “I apologize. It is this foolish disciple’s fault for not being able to understand a master’s teachings-”
“Didn’t I tell you to stop with that master nonsense? We are nothing that serious,” The Ghosthound huffed and shook his head. The two were sitting on the ground in the unlit training area, letting the gloom pool around them. To Jieu, it was the perfect breeding ground for flickers of the vanished image. “Heh. I think I understand why you are having difficulties. You are a raw being that defies explanation, quite like the Stillborn Phoenix. Gravity, heat, cosmic radiation… I believe you are woven of the same elements. Yet the reason I thought there would be a great deal of common ground… is because you both deny your true nature.”
Jieu kept his eyes on the ground, even as he felt a deep sense of shame. . Just like Jieu couldn’t help but silently watch as that kindly ‘ancestor’ that raised him and taught him all about philosophy and poetry walk away.
I have built everything so carefully. Jieu thought as he looked down at the rippling flames of his existence. Yet why does it almost appear… like I have truly built nothing for myself…
“It is an all-consuming black hole,” The Head Drill Sergeant’s features were hidden in the shadows as he spoke. “Yet it just wants to be a simple egg. You are the pure incarnation of fire… but you refuse to truly burn. You exist in extended stasis.”
Jieu Ronault said nothing. He just focused on keeping a tight grip on the flames of his body.
“You are both so desperate. Yet why is the desperate you so still…?” Even through the darkness, Jieu felt the Ghosthound press his lips together in disgust. A tremor ran through him. “Reflect on that. You are dismissed, recruit. Skip our next image training session. Desperation without resolve is just panic. And I’m not in the business of wasting my time with weak-willed recruits.”