Chapter 1204 (2/2)

Heiffal’s eyes softened. Yet how could Heiffal answered the Ghosthound’s question? The truth was too ridiculous to believe. So instead, Heiffal said softly, “I think we… we just realized that what we are fighting for… what we thought we were fighting for isn’t the truth. The foundation of our existence is a lie. Some of that took it… hard. So… it’s nice. To listen to the story. Another’s story, to feel part of something. Even if we're not truly a part of that either…”

As Heiffal trailed off, Randidly looked at him with obvious amusement. “What do you mean it’s not true that you are part of this…? It’s certainly a loosely adapted story. But life is a story that you tell yourself, about yourself. You can change your story at any time. Sure, this isn’t the story you’ve always told yourself about how you live… but as long as you believe, you can be a part of this story too.”

“This… this isn’t…” Heiffal stumbled forward with his words, trying to impress upon the Ghosthound what he was feeling. Because of the awkward way that Heiffal had originally worded their emotions, it was difficult to grapple effectively with the metaphor to convey what he felt. “You cannot just… having meaning by listening to a story. And life without meaning-”

“Its very difficult to find meaning if you don’t believe that you can find it,” The Ghosthound nodded reasonably, looking at Heiffal with bright emerald eyes. Eyes that grew more luminous the longer that Heiffal looked at him. Eyes that seemed to be slowly unraveling Heiffal’s words to locate the truth. “But… if you believe you can find it… it doesn’t seem that difficult to establish yourself here.”

“I-I’m not looking for meaning!” Heiffal stammered. Then he opened his mouth again to say he was looking for truth, but the words died on his lips. The Ghosthound was looking at him with empathetic eyes, simply watching him. And Heiffal was not a weak-willed individual; his image was powerful enough to have earned him a place here. Or at least there, in the past, then, it had earned him a place. So he understood how much could be accomplished with belief.

Yet… images didn’t make reality. Right? There was a limit. A standard of depth that was impossible to replicate.

But why do I want to believe that it’s possible to even change reality… if we believe in something and work toward it as I look at him…? Tears formed in Heiffal’s eyes. We… if it’s with him, following him… is it really possible for us phantasms to have meaning…?

All we would need to do… is listen… decide what we want… and reach for it. Heiffal took another steadying breath and instead of darkness, the air tasted like spring and sounded like the slight rustling of leaves. Blinking rapidly, Heiffal shook his head. Why… why was I so afraid of having no meaning…?

“Then what are you looking for?” The Ghosthound tilted his head to the side.

“A way to feel like I mattered,” Heiffal whispered. And if he was honest with himself, that was probably what hurt the most about dreaming his own death. Not the admittedly terrible experience of death, not knowing that everyone he had ever known or met was already dead, but that was part of it.

No, what struck Heiffal the deepest was that the world had gone on without him after he had died. In the grand scheme of things, his life hadn’t spread out the slightest ripple. He was a pebble drowned out in the rapids of a river. Or at least, he had produced no ripples that could be seen or could be felt in this far-flung future.

Rather than immediately moving to reassure Heiffal as he had expected, the Ghosthound seemed somewhat at a loss. Then he shook his head. “I’ll be honest, even I don’t know how to give you that. But I can say one thing for sure… if we do our damnedest to the trial in front of us, if we press forward so completely we don’t leave any room for regrets… giving yourself over to the attempt will help you believe it’s true. If you can’t find meaning, settle for just the motion and let your instincts guide you.”

“...so we probably won’t ever truly matter.” Heiffal sighed softly. He knew it was true. He always knew that this was how the world worked. But it was rough to hear.

Clapping Heiffal on the back, the Ghosthound said, “Maybe not to us. But listen to them. Listen to that story. No matter how much we wanted it… we were the never the ones who control whether we matter. All we can do is accomplish something that’s worthy of being spun into a story. And look out there.”

The Ghosthound pointed. Bit by bit, Lady Iellaya was taking advantage of their hesitance to inflict some wounds in the four Nether Heralds in front of her. Across the battlefield, the Supreme Commander’s forces began to clash against two more Nether Heralds that descended to defend the weird shape rapidly growing in the sky above them.

And it was clear that there was a change in the movements of the blue veins. For the first time, the Nether King opened its mouth.

OooooooOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG.

A terrible, groaning noise shook the battlefield. Even standing next to the Ghosthound, Heiffal gritted his teeth and swayed to endure the jarring noise. It seemed to attack the very fabric of his flesh, seeking to destabilize him from within. With a grunt, Heiffal pressed that strange force away. But across the front, Heiffal could see thousands of his listless fellows simply perish from that terrible noise. Combined with the bleak truth they saw in front of them, the noise was too much.

Black death energy wafted upward. The blue veins seemed invigorated by the noise and surged forward with renewed vigor. Fighting everywhere intensified.

Slowly, Heiffal turned back to the Ghosthound. The truth this man presented was not as absolute, but it was certainly not reassuring; it was clearly not in the Ghosthound’s nature to offer any sort of emotional affirmation. No, what the Ghosthound was holding out to Heiffal right now… was faith.

Faith that things could get better if Heiffal was willing to work.

“...today is a day that will be remembered. Being a part of that has meaning.” The Ghosthound said softly. “Let’s just slay the Nether King and put a bow on the whole experience.”

Looking at him, Heiffal started to believe.