Chapter 991 (2/2)

“I don't think I'm better than you. I simply was stronger. And the bottom line is that… I didn’t care about you.” Randidly said truthfully. He took several steps forward to stand above the rotting head of Ki-Kunot. Nine thousand one hundred and six. Just another pile of lives lost under the rules of the System. “...But I do care about something you said: trust.”

The hundreds of ashen butterflies froze. Their wings glittered in the half-light of what Randidly considered his source of images. Effectively, what he could see by right now was the light of his own soul.

“It’s trust that caused this, isn’t it, Grim Chimera?” Randidly’s lip curled and then he looked down the ashen strings connecting his image to the rotting projection. “Trust fueled by a deep guilt that is too fresh and raw to truly cope with. I’m sorry I left you down here with it.”

“How can you know you haven’t doomed your humanity by slaughtering us?” Ki-Kunot whispered.

“I don’t,” Randidly said frankly. He scratched his head. “Your potential for growth, your stubborn determination… I can admire those things. You could have joined my Alpha Cosmos and become a part of me. But, in the end, I couldn’t truly believe that it was solely my Aether that pushed you all to this. Until I understand that plateau... I cannot dislodge the suspicion I hold. I was afraid.”

“We died for suspicion.” Ki-Kunot’s expression was bleak.

But Randidly looked at the Grim Chimera with luminous emerald eyes. We died for suspicion, eh…? Isn’t this taking this ruse a little too far? Or...

With a single finger, Randidly reached out and touched the ashen threads that bound the projection and his image together. “Grim Chimera… I wonder… who is speaking through who, here? I’m… surprised you were so easily devoured by guilt.”

The ashen butterflies disappeared. So did the Grim Chimera. What remained was the bloody and rotting head of Ki-Kunot. “You should be happy that guilt has taken root at least somewhere in your vicious soul. What sort of king kills for suspicion and feels nothing?”

Nine thousand one hundred and six. Compared to the total number of people who I could have saved and didn’t… it's truly insignificant. But it is not nothing. “Trust me, I feel the weight of the lives I’ve ended every day. And those lives I’ve let end themselves when I could have easily acted and saved them.”

“HOW CAN I TRUST THAT YOU HAVEN’T DOOMED US TO DIE?!?” Suddenly the Grim Chimera was back. They were buried in ash.

“You are afraid too, aren’t you? Of course you are, you are a part of me.”

Randidly brushed the unending sea of ash all away. They were suddenly alone in the half-light. “I wonder that every day, with every second I spend on different activities. What will end up being the Skill I need to survive tomorrow? How will the System try and doom Earth next? The stream of threats doesn’t seem to end. And before we came here… well, you know.

“That being inside the crystal thought we were as insignificant as dust. And it wasn’t wrong about our relative power. But I will never again be nothing.”

The Grim Chimera shook its head. Its limbs split and merged. “If you truly feel these things, WORRY. CONSIDER. You are just calmly refusing to look away from your Path. The things you are missing due to your stubborn pride… And if your Path is the wrong one-”

“There it is.” Randidly grinned. He reached up and grasped above his head. “You are me, but you are also Ulaat, and also Alta. You are corrupted by the emotions you feel, and you assume that the fact others aren’t corrupted means that they don’t feel the same things. Or they don’t feel them with the same authenticity. But let me demonstrate something to you.”

When Randidly grabbed above his head, his fingers closed over the Crown of Upheaval and Gloom. The Crown hummed softly, gleaming like polished bone in the half-light of Randidly’s soul. Extending his hand, Randidly offered it to the Grim Chimera. There was a flicker, and suddenly it was KI-Kunot’s bleeding head that was sitting before him. With a small smirk, Randidly placed the Crown onto her head.

“It is not expressive to let your emotions control you,” Randidly said quietly as he adjusted the Crown. “It is childish. We have so much more to do. We have so many more foes to face. This… well, I can’t say it wasn’t a mistake. But in moments like this, where the fate of Earth won’t be affected… those mistakes can happen. I can’t be perfect every moment. So then when push comes to shove, I’m in a better position to not make a mistake. Because I am the King here.

“Do you know what helps no one? Whining when you fail. And fuck…” Randidly gritted his teeth. “I can’t deny I failed here. I didn’t take the time to make a perfect solution. I was too rushed to respect these lives. I faced my own foolishness and turned away without a second glance because I believed my other tasks were more important. I was… arrogant.”

“You believe your numbness to be a virtue?” Ki-Kunot muttered, but Randidly knew that it wasn’t any real spirit that was talking. “We have done terrible things. We deserve-”

Because of how the Crown was never truly worn physically by him, it was difficult for Randidly to fit it on the decapitated head’s rotting flesh. It came down to minute adjustments to the image itself to make it possible. But still, he labored at it. “You know what I detest more than anything? Making someone else’s tragedy about yourself. Focus on your own shit, Grim Chimera.”

“You feel guilty too!” Suddenly the Chimera was back, its arms stretched wide to as if to embrace Randidly. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have gone and buried all the bodies-”

“I mourned then in my own way, rather than torturing myself and feeling self-righteous about it,” Randidly said. Then he smiled; the Crown finally was in place. Suddenly, it felt like chains of cold iron were jettisoned off from his shoulders. Releasing a long sigh, Randidly savored the tingling sense of freedom that came over his soul space.

Increasing the power of images didn’t occur without a commiserate cost. And for the first time in a long time, Randidly was freed from that cost.

When Randidly finally had the Crown sitting as he wanted, a connection was established between this small manifestation of his emotions and his Crown. The head of Ki-Kunot screeched in agony for a second before it was squelched like a rotten grape. Then the Grim Chimera began to roar, its fabric ripped to shreds by the swirled doubts and fears that plagued the Crown.

For several seconds, Randidly let the image bear that weight. It will hurt to the point of damaging the image. But it needs to learn this lesson. Just because I do not panic and flail does not mean I need these victories any less.

Then Randidly took back his Crown. “...do you understand now? Nine thousand one hundred and six is only the most recent pile of bodies I have created. They won’t shift my resolve. Even if I’m making a mistake… I won’t know until I reach the end of my Path. Don’t get in my way.”

The Grim Chimera didn’t have any strength remaining to reply. It faded to nothing in the dark half-light of Randidly’s soul to lick its wounds.