Chapter 821 (2/2)

Strangely, Shal felt no cognitive dissonance as he reluctantly released that statement into his mind. In fact, he felt relief. Because it was true. And that truth didn’t change the fact that Shal loved her anyway.

Chuckling, Shal moved. Azriel narrowed her eyes and peered through the veil of darkness around herself as she remained motionless during the process. Of course, he was too worried to see it earlier, but she was bound. Whatever magic she was using had the price of stillness.

Shal had no such qualms.

Although it drew a yelp from Rumera, Shal picked her up in his arms. She glared up at him, but Shal kept his gaze on Azriel. “It is strange, is it not? You are right. But because of what she is and how we interact, I love her. I would not love her if she is different. Therefore, it would be foolish for me to quibble with the truth.”

“Wait Shal, after this transformation finishes-” Azriel began, but Shal waved a hand.

“Bah. I’m tired of being told when and who I need to fight; I am very disappointed to find the same coming from you.” Shal said over his shoulder as he leaped across Hastam. “The war is over. The Wights are dead. Why not celebrate?”

Then Shal was gone, moving across the city in the night.

Rumera crossed her arms, cradled against Shal’s chest. “I can handle myself you know.”

Shal raised his eyebrows. “Can you?”

Scowling, Rumera play punched Shal’s jaw. “Of course. But not without cost. I am much less than what I was, once…”

After trailing off, they traveled in silence. Even when the two passed the edge of Hastam and rushed into the wildlands West of the city, Rumera said nothing. So Shal continued to carry her toward the destination he had in mind.

The countryside bore the mark of the Wights occupation and passage. Most buildings were torn down, and periodically large anthill like bases that the Wights could crawl in and out of without fear of spear-user attacks loomed above the trampled foliage. It had the strange effect of causing Shal to reminisce about his childhood, when he and his brother would pick up sticks and gallantly attack wasps’ nest in order to ‘eradicate the dumb Wights’.

The Wraith Adder hissed softly in Shal’s chest. If I could go back, there is so much I would say. So many things I could do. For that reason, I won’t let go of Rumera. No matter what it is. Because I do not want to hold these feelings in my chest after it is already too late.

“I remember it, you know,” Rumera said breaking into the low sound of the rushing wind around them as Shal ran. “Being the Spearsource. Being a… part of the Spearman. I remember the power and the overarching sense of purpose. But now… I’ve lost that.”

“It aches,” Shal murmured. “being alive. All the small flaws bring you anguish. And there is nothing you can do but continue advancing.”

“But I want it. This independence- Let me down!” All at once, Rumera’s whisper shot upward in volume into a shout, as though just now realizing that Shal was carrying her. Shal let her down because they were already at the destination he had in mind. Without even looking around, Rumera continued to speak.

“It’s horrible and the closest thing I had to a family was driven mad by a desire to complete the world. Worst of all, I feel that same desire! It eats at me every day. Sleeping is confusing and the feeling of eating is horrifying and going to the bathroom- well it all sucks. That’s basically every moment of being alive. And I’m full of panic and I hate it and then I met you and you are so-”

Rumera paused. Shal grinned at her back as she spun around.

“This is the spot,” Rumera said in awe. “This is where we met. The farm is destroyed, but…”

“Yea. This was a place where my life changed.” Shal rumbled.

Rumera was quiet for several seconds. Evening was falling, revealing the tapestry of stars above. She looked upward and sighed. “I cry a lot, you know. When you aren't around- not because you aren’t around, but because… because I’m glad I’m alive. Every day.”

Shal didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. For the moment, he relished the proximity of Rumera and simply allowed her to spin and spin and spin as she searched through the stars for something that only she knew she was looking for. Some answer, or some comfort on the day that the being she had considered her only family had been killed.

Dearly, Shal hoped the stars would grant her some small succor.