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He should have returned, even if it meant lying to his Teacher's Junior Brother going against his sect's rules. He should have brought her away, regardless of whether he would be chased down by his sect. It was wrong of him to hold on to the glimmer of hope that she would be fine after being hidden for so long, and it would be fine to wait for a few more days.

Fate never waited for people.

The terrible mistake was made.

Furthermore, he was, to a large extent, responsible for Fuyao's suffering. If his Teacher's Junior Brother had not suddenly detoured to visit Epsilon when passing by Xuanji's Palace, if he had not coincidentally met her after being impatient of waiting, and if he had not appeared, which had made Feng Jingfan to know of his whereabouts, Fuyao would not have been discovered.

Maybe Fuyao might be found out in the years to come as she grew up, and she would still have to go through the same torture. But no matter what, that night remained a nightmare which he had created by accident.

Because of this, he felt like a sinner who wanted to compensate her in every way possible. However, after what had happened, no matter how much he compensated her, it was still not enough to appease his remorse.

Sometimes, he would think of silently removing all the affiliated people back then, so that she would never have the opportunity to find out the truth. But he knew that he had no right to be so selfish.

Cleaving Nine Heavens required one to go through the most painful suffering, both physically and mentally, before one could truly reach the peak of the skill. Though the truth about Fuyao's background dealt an extremely painful blow to her, it was also a rare chance for her to improve herself, and he had no right to remove such a precious opportunity.

Even if that meant he was not giving himself any chances.

In anticipation of such a day, he had continuously been helping Fuyao train her physique, enhance her inner energy, and repair her meridian lines. He had done this because he was afraid of Fuyao not being strong enough to face the truth, which may lead her to go into psychosis if she was unable to control herself when improving her skills.

Fuyao now had the ability to control herself. He trusted her and no longer worried about that.

As for himself…

Zhangsun Wuji smiled, and his smile was so fragile and thin that it resembled a cracked, white porcelain piece. He raised his hand to cover his eyes, as though the moonlight was too bright for him.

The jade-white lotus in his palm appeared lively and clear under the shine of the moonlight. He looked at it in a daze, and his mind wandered back to his past.

”Wuji, you're born with the lotus mark, and it's becoming clearer and clearer. Does this mean that your future wife is a jade lotus?” When he was three or four, he sat on his father's lap and flipped through the official reports while listening to his father nagging for the 10,000th time about this lotus. Meanwhile, he casually edited a comment on one of the reports.

”I'll find you a lotus-like girl tomorrow then.” His father projected into the future while hugging him in smiles. ”What kind of lotus can deserve my Wuji?”

Zhangsun Wuji looked back and said clearly, ”Lotus or not, she must first be a good woman.”

His father's eyes opened wide, as though he didn't expect his young son to be discussing about women with him. Unable to hold back, he laughed and asked, ”So Wuji, what kind of women do you think are good women?”

He looked away and continued editing the reports that didn't fit his standards. ”She will hug me and cry for me.”

Behind him, his father turned silent. He also became quiet, and he pursed his lips. Even if his father hugged him for 10,000 times, without a mother's hug, he still felt lonely and empty.

Childhood memories stayed distinct in his memory, especially this conversation. He would recall it from time to time, and each time it replayed, he would uncontrollably smile bitterly. It was such a simple request, but it was so difficult for him.

For 13 years, no one had truly gotten close to him. Other people said no one dared to near a sly genius like him; his father was warm and loving, but he was often limited by his illness, and his mother… she never needed him.

That was until he turned 13.

When he had first met her, he had empathized with her as a fellow sufferer, and he had treated her warmly. At that time, he had not thought much about it. However, when she had looked back at him when he had been combing her hair, her expression had made his heart tremble.

A sentence suddenly had come to him - she was crying for him.

Because she had experienced the same kind of loneliness, she had understood him, pitied him, and known the mature and bitter side of him, which had usually been hidden under his glamorous front.

In that instant, she had given him what his closest kin had never given him.

And when he had closed his palm on that tiny lotus, he had immediately made his decision.

She would be his lotus.

As such, the map of Xuanji had appeared. Very casually, but without any second thoughts, he had handed over his future to her.

However, right now, she might not want it anymore, right?

Zhangsun Wuji smiled faintly. Raising his glass towards the cold moonlight, he downed it in one gulp.

He drank from moonrise until the darkest time of the night, and from then to the wee hours of the morning when the sun had just started to rise, and the dewdrops could be seen. The half-kilogram wine jug fell from the tree and landed on the ground, causing the strongly fragrant alcoholic scent to waft around the courtyard.