96 LIFE AND DEATH (2/2)

She was heart-struck by it and wanted to go to her brother when Exvo would reach her island, but then she received a letter from her brother's son explaining that all the money she had been sending was being eaten away by his father for his own profits and that he had no intention of giving even a copper piece of it back to Quinna.

She didn't believe it. Even though some part of her wanted to go and confirm, she could only wait for Exvo to go there. In a few months, Beren was born. She sent a letter to her brother, telling him about what happened with Nick, and then the birth of Beren. However, her brother, who somehow came to know of his son's doing, smartly sent back a letter that ridiculed not only Quinna but her newborn son. It was so demeaning that she couldn't digest the truth. Out of shame and regret, she didn't get down from Exvo when it stopped by their village. She had learned a great lesson from her brother, born to a different mother.

All sorts of doubts kept creeping into her mind, forcing her to wonder if even her brother's son was an honest person, or was he simply a bootlicker who sent the letter as per his father's order? These types of crazy thoughts worsened her temper day by day.

Eventually, she had decided to continue staying on Exvo and look after her son. She kept stitching clothes for those on the deck, for that was all she knew. Though her health was deteriorating, she worked overtime. She was alone. Even before the betrayals, she had few people she could freely talk to, but afterward, she stopped talking to anyone other than to a customer. But the memories of her looking forward to living a happy life kept coming back; the house near mountains; the betrayals of her brother and husband. The more she held onto the past, the more her health worsened. By the time she was willing to let go of the negative thoughts, it was a bit too late. She couldn't work anymore, and her treatment cost a lot that even her stitching mission had to be sold.

As Beren was telling the past, tears streamed down from the only eye he had. The other eye socket was covered with cotton, which got wet. ”When she was sick and dying, she told me that it was her fault to let others hurt her and use her for their benefits, but that I wasn't born out of an accident. What do you think, Brother? Am I an accident?”

”Your mother was right. As far as I know, people can die from an accident, but no one can be born from an accident,” said Lirzod, rubbing the boy's wet cheeks with his fingers. ”That's just silly.”

”You think so, too?”

Lirzod paused for a moment but then nodded twice, ”Yeah, I'm sure.”

”Mm… My mother put all the blame on herself,” Beren's expression still looked sad. ”She told me to forget what my uncle has done, and if possible, forgive him. In my father's case, however, she told me to forgive him, and if possible, to forget what he has done. One betrayed her in the name of blood. The other betrayed her in the name of love and abandoned her. I don't know how she could still forgive them. I don't know why she asked me to forgive them.” His blood was boiling as he spoke. ”How can I do that when they brought her so much misery that eventually took her life?” He clutched his head. ”I just don't know what to do.”

”Simple. Just get stronger, first, at least until you are no longer confused as to which path you should take.”

”Stronger?” Beren bitterly smiled. ”Can I ever become strong enough to beat my… to beat Nick?”

”Of course, you can,” Lirzod replied in a lively tone. ”Nick had nothing much to offer. If you put your heart to the task, you can easily surpass him in more ways than one.”

Beren was pleasantly surprised, for he wasn't told of the fight that had happened between Lirzod and Nick. He was only told that Lirzod had helped him get to the clinic. So he thought Lirzod was exaggerating things to make him comfortable. ”How can I get stronger? What does it take?”

”Getting stronger, huh…”

”I'm not at all strong,” replied Beren in a pitiful tone. ”When I had both eyes, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. My friends laughed at my eyes behind my back and made jokes about me, so I was always uncomfortable to even look people in the eye for long. Now I only have one eye, so I don't have to hide my face anymore, but I know that it's not because I overcame the problem. Next time, when I face such a problem, I want to overcome it with my own strength.”

”Mm,” Lirzod nodded. ”Whatever reason you may have for wanting to get stronger, I tell you, it's not something that can be achieved overnight.” Lirzod raised his brows, and his eyes hinted that he was speaking from experience. ”The work you put in today may not show you results right away, but it will pay you someday. You should have such a belief, and you should stick to it no matter what. Once you've got your faith on track, you can then go look for ways to get stronger. As for how to get stronger…” he pondered for a few seconds. ”Well, listening to the experienced fellows in the field, picking up what is good in others, and such things will greatly help. After all, we are what we learn.”

Beren kept nodding frequently.

Lirzod continued, ”None of us are born with a book in hand. From our birth, we take in things, good or bad, from others and the world around us. Infancy is the time when we pay the most attention to things around us. Still, we didn't learn to speak a language in a day, right? It was a slow process. I believe it's the same with learning any new thing. If you can, it's better to take things slow.” He then remembered a quote from one of the books Duera read to him, ”Only ingest what you can digest, with the zeal to learn anything until you know it backward. If you can get all these things working,” he then said what Burton often said, ”then I don't see why you can't turn every hurdle in your way into a stepping stone.”

”I kind of get what you're saying… But how can I make sure that what I'm doing is the right thing?” Beren couldn't help but ask. ”How can I believe that it makes me stronger?”

”You seem to be mistaken about something,” Lirzod said and casually smiled. ”Taking major decisions certainly requires strength, but putting them into practice requires a lot more strength. So…” Lirzod ran his fingers up Beren's arm, puzzling him, and he suddenly started to tickle near the armpit. ”It's not what you do that makes you really strong, but how good you do what you do.”

”S-Stop!” Beren almost jumped on his butt.

”And you'll know it's probably the right thing for you when your joy vastly outweighs your regret. So no matter what you are doing, try to give it your all, got it?” Lirzod said and chuckled. ”Only then you may see some improvement before your passion and patience runs out.”

Beren also faintly smiled, though it was barely perceptible.

”Anyway,” Lirzod rubbed the back of his head, ”someone once told me, ”Being strong isn't as much about beating your enemies as it's about protecting those in your heart.' After all, even defeating a thousand enemies wouldn't bring back a friend you failed to protect, right? So set your priorities straight, and also make good friends, so even if you fall, they'll get you back on your feet.”

”'They?'” Beren's head was somewhat tilted down, and he responded a bit late, ”What's their names?”

”For one, there was someone I used to call Squeezel. Then there's Primera, Duera, and a few more.”

Beren stayed silent for a bit. ”I have a friend named Lime. Her actual name is Lima, and I promised her that I would explore the world together with her, even though she has Keerthi, her sworn sister.” He looked at his hands that were slightly shaking upon thinking about the recent happenings. ”I don't know if I'm even eligible to tour the world with her. She is a special girl, but I am...”

Seeing Beren's hesitation, Lirzod let out a long sigh and said, ”Why do you think you're not special? In this world, there is only one sun, only one moon...” he poked his finger on Beren's chest, ”only one you.”

All the doubt in Beren's eyes evaporated almost instantly.

”Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't one-of-a-kind,” Lirzod said and folded his hands. ”You wanted me to guide you forward, but I'm telling you… I'm not here to make your choices. You have to start making your own decisions. That's the only way to freedom, from others and yourself.”

Beren faintly nodded, but then he still wasn't sure if he could muster enough courage to go back to Lima after what he had told her, after what he had attempted to do to his father. And what's more, he knew that he was doing a similar thing that his father had done, which was to abandon his wife. Beren also, sort of, abandoned Lima. Though he realized that to an extent, his anger on his father had clouded his judgment, and even at this moment, he felt like he could defend himself. Still, he couldn't hide it all. The guilt and shame swam about in his eyes. ”I wanted to achieve many things, but now, I'm not so sure. I don't even know if I'll live long enough to fulfill just one of them.” Though he didn't say it directly, he feared in the depths of his heart if he could even return to Lima safely. Even if he did, would he be the same person?

Lirzod looked at the boy's left shoulder. At that time, if not for them being on the ship, he thought back on how Beren could have died from blood loss, much less an infection down the road. He put his hand on Beren's leg. ”Life and death are only separated by a heartbeat, yet some people go to any length to make their dreams come true. These kinds of people weigh better either on the lovely scale or the nasty scale. Nick was a nasty fellow, but...” Lirzod's hand slowly raised and slightly touched Beren's left hand. ”Don't curse yourself for having him as your father. I know what he did to you is unjustifiable and evil, but you can't change what had happened. All you can do is learn from it. The quicker you grasp that, the more pain and fear you'll leave behind.”

Beren wanted to nod, but his head wasn't willing. It felt heavy for some reason. ”What about what I tried to do to him? Doesn't that mean I'm also evil?”

Lirzod paused for a moment and asked, ”If you are evil, then why are you questioning yourself?”

Beren was startled.

”Because you aren't purely evil, which is the absence of good,” said Lirzod. ”There's good in you because you're reflecting on things so you can change yourself for the better. You have to cling onto that goodness in you long enough till it grows big enough and forces out the vice in you for good. I think that's what your mother was probably trying to convey when she told you to forgive and forget your father and uncle so you won't end up becoming like them.”

Beren stayed silent, but his eyes gave a hint of understanding, which birthed a bit of hope.

”I think after the talk we've had, we deserve some watermelons.” Lirzod took out two pieces of watermelons and then put one in Beren's hand. ”It's time to get some strength back.” Lirzod gorged on the fruit, together with the seeds.

Meanwhile, outside the drill clinic, Hundred was spitting seeds right in front of the entrance, and he suddenly received a slap on the back of the head that popped his eyes out.

”Stop spitting seeds everywhere!” Mulyk barked. ”This isn��t your home!”

Hundred grunted from pain. She struck him hard this time, and so he couldn't hide the suffering. Even though she saw his reaction, she didn't give an apology, which he was sort of expecting. So it felt as if he now received a second invisible slap that hurt his heart and did some immeasurable internal damage.

After all that, Hundred couldn't spit the seeds, so he couldn't help but wonder and look at Mulyk to see what she was doing. However, she wasn't spitting, so he realized that she was eating them, too. ”You… are you crunching on seeds as well?”

”Of course, they not only add texture to the crunch but also make you strong. That's how we elves eat anyway. I don't know why you vulnurs spit out seeds. Such a waste.”

”Texture is okay,” Hundred tapped his finger on his chin, ”but I doubt if they'll make us any stronger because when I eat them, they just come out through poop.”

Mulyk spat all that was in her mouth. ”Don't talk about 'that' when I'm eating-fu!”

”Uh, I-I'm sorry,” Hundred's heart had just involuntarily skipped a beat, afraid that she might slap him again, but luckily she didn't. However, he still moved a step away.

”Hmph!” she shook her head. She glanced at the watermelon and could no longer put it in her mouth. ”Now I feel I lost all my appetite!” she glared at him making him act like he was looking elsewhere while eating the fruit. (Since he's spoiled my mind, I'll do the same!) She then said, ”When you said about the seeds appearing in your excretion, you weren't counting the fact that you humans and we elves are not the same. Our stomachs can digest a lot more things than you vulnurs can.”

”More like animals, huh… tiger, deer, and such.”

”Hmph, we have no likeness with animals, other than that we are closer to perfection than you people are.”

”Oh, so elves can brag perfectly, too.”

”What did you say?” her brows twitched.

”N-Nothing.”

”Humph,” she continued to glare at him. ”So stupid.”

”You are the one who's stupid,” Hundred muttered under his breath as he took in another bite. (Out of habit, I was spitting seeds on the street for birds, or I would have looked for a dustbin. But this crazy girl hit me hard. It still hurts.) He rubbed the back of his head while making eye contact with her.

”I can see why 99 people didn't find it pleasing to travel alongside you,” she said.

Hundred was startled, and he lowered his head to cover his expression. A couple of seconds later, he lifted his head again and acted okay.

Mulyk was a bit puzzled as to why her trick, a rude remark, didn't work all that much, so her gaze turned a bit icy and her cheeks salty.

”Uh,” Hundred took a golden wrapping paper out of his pocket. ”I can give you this if you're willing to calm down.”

”A wrapper?” she snatched it from him. ”Where did you get this?”

”When I was cleaning the clinic,” said Hundred.

When she opened the neatly folded wrapper, she saw some pieces of melted chocolate inside. ”Ew, this was already used!” she tossed it back.

”I know,” Hundred folded it and put it back in his pocket.

”You did that on purpose!” Mulyk rapped her knuckles on Hundred's head.

”Argh,” Hundred cried out in pain and rubbed his crown.

”Never do that again-fu!”

”Never, never,” Hundred looked a bit foolish with his face cooked from both anger and fear. (Women are such weird creatures. As Lirzod said, you never know when they laugh in their sleeves or fart in others' faces.)

Just then, a man came hurriedly to the entrance of the clinic. ”Please, help me! The maggots are eating me alive!”

”What the heck happened?” Hundred covered his mouth to suppress his voice upon seeing that man's forearm, which was packed with maggots living around the wound and under the skin. ”That looks nasty. Are they feasting on his flesh?”

”Please help me,” the man pleaded. ”I don't have money, but I'll pay you soon.”

”If you didn't have money, you should have at least kept your wound clean and not let flies settle on them,” Mulyk indifferently said. ”I hate treating for free, especially for stupid people like you.”

”Please, madam. I beg you,” the man wailed. ”Have mercy on this halfwit.”

”No. Go and bring a silver coin. Then we'll talk,” Mulyk coldly said, causing the man to cry and sob a lot harder, but it only worsened her mood. ”Get away from me, you oaf,” she kicked him away as he tried to touch her feet. ”How dare you try to touch a lady's foot without her permission?”

The man continued to cry helplessly.

”Oi, I'll pay for him,” Hundred intervened, ”so treat him, okay?”

”Well, okay,” Mulyk showed no objection. She took a small wooden box out of her pocket. There was a pill inside. When she had opened the box, Hundred immediately shut his nose because the odor was so strong that he felt like vomiting.

”What the heck is that?” Hundred's eyes gained redness.

”A special garbage pill I made,” Mulyk said with a smile on her face. ”Maggots love this thing.” She brought the box closer to the wound, and all the maggots desperately came out of the wound and fell to the floor. There was localized pain, but the man bore it. In less than a minute, all of them were out. She then gave him a few healing pills and said, ”Take these pills once every day. There may be more eggs left inside, so keep washing the wound with salt or vinegar. If you can afford it, take hot baths for a week. If you encounter any trouble, seek me out immediately. I won't charge you if you come back within a week.”

The man looked at Hundred and said, ”Thank you.” He then quickly left without saying another word.

”That prick…” Mulyk was a bit angered. ”He didn't thank me on purpose. You vulnurs are always so keen on getting revenge.”

Hundred, however, wasn't in a mood to chat. He was biting his shirt collar. (I let my emotions play me again. One silver deducted from my balance. Poor me. I should've at least told that man to pay me later.)

Mulyk, meanwhile, collected the maggots into a paper bag. ”A bit of animal feed was acquired for free. Hehe.” A hint of abhorrence could be seen in her eyes, for she had a special hatred toward maggots, which often destroyed plants, starting with the roots. ”Or should I just squash them into a pulp and use them as manure?”

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the same deck, Sariyu and 777 were heading to a particular room. A group of men who were passing by stopped and asked, ”Have you seen a purple-haired guy? He's fair, of a decent height, and breathes arrogance.”

”Purple-haired guy?” Sariyu and 777 briefly looked at each other and shook their heads simultaneously.

”Why are you looking for this Mr. Arrogant?” asked Sariyu.

”He messed with our guild members, so if you come across him, tell him that he's committed the biggest mistake of his life. After we���re done with him, he's gonna wish he never left his home.” Saying that they walked away. These men didn't yet know that Burton had already left the twelfth deck.

After those men had walked enough distance, 777 opened his mouth, ”Is it Burton they're talking about?”

”Who're those guys anyway?” asked Sariyu.

”Judging by their attire, they seem to be part of the plunderers guild,” 777 pondered. ”They love stirring storms in teacups and are notorious for bullying those who so much as poke their skin. Would your friend be alright by himself?”

”Don't worry about him,” Sariyu casually said. ”I don't know how powerful this plunderers guild is, but against him, they are probably no more different than blind wolves hunting a tiger.”

777 stayed silent, albeit looking a bit surprised.

They continued taking twists and turns through different streets for the next few minutes.

”We've entered the J block… finally,” Sariyu said in a relieved tone. ”Let's hope he's at least in this block.”

”It can't be helped. This fellow had many rooms, given the position he enjoyed until recently,” 777 said, putting some spirit into his walking all of a sudden. ”It was only natural that he picked up different resting spots spread out all over this deck.”

”Hey, what's wrong with this block?” she looked around, and the streets were desolate and dirty. Only one or two people could be seen living in dozens of rooms in the whole street. There were cobwebs everywhere, leaving just enough room for two to three people to walk side by side.

”Well, if bad incidents take place often in any block, it's only natural that it gets abandoned by most. Unless the commander puts some direct effort, this block will not see many smiles again.”

”Why is this guy even staying in a place like this?”

”Isn't it obvious?”

”Dealings in the dark, huh. But won't a place like this also be too obvious?”

”Yeah,” 777 nodded, ”but it's not like a watchdog can keep an eye on this every hour of the day all week. Though they know that some referees are like snakes in the grass, unless and until they prove otherwise, they can't take severe action.”

”Mm, I think I now understand why this guy owns multiple rooms. It just adds to the confusion.”

”That's part of the reason, of course. Living in dorm rooms together with other hollows won't do much good, after all,” 777 looked at the number written on the hand. ”12J-345… I think we're getting close. It's probably right up that corner.”

A few seconds later.

”Mm?” Just when those two rounded the corner, at about a hundred meters away from them, they saw the four familiar faces entering a room.

777 reflexively hid behind a stack of empty oil cans. ”What the heck? What are they doing here?”

”That's not the issue…” Sariyu narrowed her eyes, and her pupils gave off a faint reddish-brown glow that didn't even last a second. ”That room… Why are they entering his room?”

”Mm? Which room?”

”12J-345.”

777 was slightly surprised. ”Maybe to apologize to him? Though that seems out of their character, maybe, they changed.”

She looked at him as if he was being silly. ”No, those five are definitely up to something.” She paused for a moment while keeping his eyes on him. ”Anyway, what are you still hiding behind those cans for?”

”Well, I don't want unwanted trouble with them.”

”You think I do?” Sariyu shook her head and started to walk. Though 777 called her in a held-back voice to come back, she didn't stop but instead waved her hand as though telling him to follow.

He shook his head and followed behind, albeit without making much sound with his footsteps.

As those two were closing in on the room in focus, four people dashed out of that room, sweating madly as they quickly left in the way they had come, without even looking back. Those four people were four of the five Hardy brothers. They didn't see Sariyu or 777 who had clung to the wall, for they were in so much of a hurry to leave the place.

”Oh, crap!” 777 was already backing away. ”Something's wrong. We should leave, too.”

”I can't walk away after coming this far,” Sariyu felt the urge to look inside the room to see for herself as to what made those four brothers run like scaredy cats. When Sariyu peeked into the room, she got the shock she wasn't ready for. A man with messy brown hair was hanging from the ceiling by a cloth, with his eyes bulged out but devoid of life.